Category Archives: stockings
One Fantasy One Time Only
I find it hard to explain when I get asked if I would do something again; especially if that request is a sexual one.
There are experiences that are simply one-off moments in my sexual adventure. Some experiences “happen” without a lot of planning, while others have been discussed, analyzed, over-thought and over-questioned for months. And some were never intended to be anything more than “let’s try it, just once” and then moving on to the next thing.
Is this a bitter blog entry? I hope not, but I do hope that you will get a sense of why my sex life isn’t always this wild, swinging from the chandelier lifestyle.
Although the Internet – and my pseudo life as Andee – has given many wonderful avenues and opportunities to explore, behind all that is the real woman. A real woman who isn’t as confident as the Internet allows her to be, and has a habit of feeling really, REALLY, nervous when sexual opportunities come her way. It’s easy to be bold online; it’s not so easy to be as bold when you’re sitting on your bed in black lingerie, stockings and high heels while a man who isn’t your husband strokes his cock to incredible hardness while talking dirty about what he wants to do to you.
Ah yes, just like a recent video and photo session that took place that has been an idea for many, many years. It was also an experience that so many men had been begging me to try for years – almost as many years as I have been sharing myself online with you.
It was just not an experience I ever thought would actually happen … nor was I fully prepared to hear the kind of things from a man standing right in front of me about what he was about to do to me … while my body was going “fuck yes!” and my mind going “my hubby will save me from this, surely he can’t think this is a good thing.”
Still, even as we carefully planned and staged the experience, ensured the safety (and privacy where necessary) of everyone involved, it was an experience that I felt absolutely terrified over. But don’t get me wrong, it was also something I had had a very deep, burning, pussy soaking desire to try – if not just for those who were longing to see me do it, but also for myself. Good lord, I was desperate to try…
In the end, I was left unbelievably rocked in the greatest sense possible.
In fact, the Internet gave me the ‘rationale’ and almost the excuse. Thankfully, my friend is an amazing – inexplicably amazing – man who invested as much care and concern into my husband as he did with me. That’s a real rarity.
It’s not easy to find a ‘playmate’ who recognizes that an encounter is nothing more than a singular event. The Internet would have us believe that it’s as common as a blink where you can find a sex partner, have a wild, intimate fuck and then move on to the next idea. It will never capture the emotion, the human connection, the many (many) conversations and talking out the scenario.
Trust me, no 48-year old married woman is just hooking up with a boyfriend – especially one that may cross traditional barriers – like a snap of the fingers. It just doesn’t work like that, even if the Internet says it does.
In my case, this whole experience has taken a few years to come to fruition. I met my friend through school (less so than extra-marital sex, but still a terrifying experience for a 40-something woman), and together, we NEVER anticipated such an encounter. I bravely broached the subject of such an encounter when I was living overseas and we were simply engaged in very platonic online chatting. Slowly, over the span of a few months, I shared more and more about my life as Andee. He was genuinely intrigued – and surprisingly encouraging without ever offering a hint of sexual interest.
Four months ago, like so many throughout the pandemic, his personal life took a left turn. We began chatting more intimately about life and living. A small part of me – I think fueled by a couple gin and tonics – decided on night to see where the line was. I asked him if he ever considered the idea of me beyond the bounds of a married friend who would occasionally have a naughty chat. We began to talk about my website, real sex, adventure and experience. I’m not sure where it became more personal over philosophical, but it did. We shared openly about our own sexual past, desires and fantasies.
With him knowing about my life online, I told him how some of my fans had a desire to see me with a man other than my husband; bluntly, a black man…the cuckold fantasy. I have lived my life trying to be as “colour blind” as possible – I couldn’t care less about a man’s background, as long as he’s sincere, kind, loving, trustworthy and emotionally generous. I don’t even remember who said it first, but it got said … and neither of us shied away from the idea.
And that set it in motion.
This is a story with so much I could say, but I’m not sure it would take you anywhere different.
The conclusion to it all wouldn’t change. My friend is a dear love – a very platonic, dear love, who I share a very unique friendship with. Even without the sex. It’s bigger than a moment we created together to allow me a wonderful gift.
But I also know you want something as well, my dear readers. So …
Yes, he fucked me. Our platonic agreement set aside for a night; exchanged for a massive, breath-taking erection and a married woman wearing stockings trying to calmly rip open a condom wrapper. There’s a video and photos. Ask me if you don’t know where to see them.
More so, I think you want to know more about my outlook on the experience.
I can’t tell you how terrified I was. I must have asked my husband close to 1,000 times if this was right, if it would change things, was I doing what was right, what they hell I was thinking … all those scared shitless questions. Every single time, he assured me that everything would be perfect no matter what happened…that there would be no regrets, no “what ifs” when that final moment came.
I also can’t tell you how unbelievable it felt. It may take some time before my pussy recovers from the sensations and experience.
What I can tell you is that what happened once … will remain “what happened once.” Through all the times my husband and I explored swinging and testing the boundaries of our sexuality, I never had another man penetrate me so deeply, bring me such incredible pleasure. We played, we explored, we fantasized … we never reached this point.
But this wasn’t that. This experience was a gift from my husband and my friend for something that is outside the reality of who I really am, and where I want to be going forward. It will never replace what I have with a man who has loved me for over 30 years and shown me the greatest experiences a woman could imagine.
And for reasons that never come to reality on the Internet, it will only be a one-time experience. My friend and I … will indulge ourselves with friendship rather than sex.
But … damn … did I get fucked!
Andee xoxo
TMI Tuesday | Random kink
I can’t say there’s an awful lot about me that would be considered “kinky.” I enjoy sex, and many variations of it, but I’m not a role-player type, definitely not a frequent dabbler in BDSM … and I’ve never been one for spanking, humiliation or degradation.
No, my sexual kinks may be more easily defined in the pursuit of vanilla sex in a less than conventional manner. I like it missionary, I like it doggy-style … I just want to explore with outside of the contemporary view of marriage and monogamy. Kink to me implies lots of leather and kitchen utensils; cosplay and characters – things I’m basically not turned on by.
But that doesn’t mean I don’t have an open mind when it comes to whatever turns other people on. On the contrary, I’m rather intrigued by it all. And so, with this week’s TMI Tuesday, we have a few random kinks to work on … along with other thoughts.
1. You have been asked to organize a sex & kink weekend. Will you be more of a “hands-on” person or more of an “ideas” person?
I’m an idea person. I think my creativity far out-distances my willingness to be hands on.
2. Assuming you are the hands-on type at this weekend sex romp, and you’ve entered a tent to ‘play’ with a male/female couple. Would you like to be given clear instructions before you begin to ‘play’ or do you prefer to be given the general idea of the task and work it out your own way.
In situations where the “hands on” aspect is important, I still like to let the moment develop on its own. I’ve found if you stick to the “script” too closely, you’re more libel to miss out on what could have been because you were so focused on trying to ensure the moment followed the plan you laid out in the first place. You miss those little nuances that could take it in a whole different direction. The best things in life – especially when it comes to sex – come from those unexpected left turns.
3. True or False. “During sex, I like to hear and accept feedback.”
False. During sex I like to hear a little dirty talk, lots of moaning, groaning, heavy breathing and the occasional “Oh fuck yes!” However, AFTER sex, I’m all for a little post-mortem of the moment. Let’s find out what worked, what was hot … what was too much and what was “yeah, let’s never speak of that again.”
4. What are you wearing right now?
Seriously? What female blogger worth her weight in chiffon is NOT sitting at her computer answering these questions in an amazingly sexy lace teddy from (insert your favourite lingerie company) with garters, black stockings with the seam that runs all the way up the back and her favourite pair of patent-leather 5-inch stiletto heels? And while I’m pondering the answer to each question, I’m flirtatiously playing with my rhinestone necklace and wondering if I could get that unbelievable hot delivery guy to flirt with me tomorrow if I left my wedding rings at home.
But while you mull that over, I’ll just cuddle up with my laptop on the couch while wearing my comfy yoga pants and t-shirt. And yes, I have underwear on underneath, but I honestly can’t remember if it matches my bra.
5. I show loyalty to my lover by ________ .
Never hiding a thing from him when it comes to our sex life, my desires and my fantasies (mostly). I show loyalty by being unwaveringly open with him, sharing the responsibility of initiating conversation around our sexual (and non-sexual) life together.
But mostly by honouring the commitment we made to each other over 20 years ago; and working on our relationship in good times and even harder in bad times – and NEVER diminishing what we have worked so hard to create together.
Plus, he’s never once complained about the occasional blowjob …
6. Do you always have to argue?
If you argue fair, it can be productive and progressive … HOWEVER … if you communicate on an adult level all the time, and recognize that relationships are not scripted perfection, the arguments are actually more healthy discussions with less vocal volume. A healthy relationship, if you ask me, also includes a willingness to allow a difference of opinion without judgement AND an agreement to occasionally disagree.
BONUS: Pick up the closest book to you, open it to page 55. The first line on that page reads:
Document collaboration means working with others to create, review, and revise a document to achieve the best end result.
Sorry folks, just finished a computer course at college and my textbook was just that much closer than the collection of erotic fiction for women by women. But if it’s any consolation, I’ll probably read a bit of that tonight before bed and then masturbate to the thoughts swirling around in my imagination.
Andee xoxo
Six Reasons To Talk About Lingerie
With the Christmas season on the horizon – and, who could ignore the massively-advertised newest American holiday of “Black Friday” – there is no doubt some of you guys are going to be wondering what you can get for your significant other to significantly improve your chances of unwrapping her in the near future.
Lingerie has been a go-to for bedroom fashion for eons. I suspect even the earliest attempt at a seductive statement likely involved some cave-dweller trimming a touch of sabre-tooth tiger fur off the hem of her frock.
But before you launch yourself into the lacy realm of stockings, garters and teddies, there may be a few conversations worth having with your intended lingerie model. Unfortunately, nothing will put a chill on a romantic Christmas evening than a naughty present that isn’t accepted with the same excitement it was gifted.
Six reasons to talk about lingerie:
Know her tastes
If your wife or girlfriend doesn’t have a lot of colourful underwear already (bras, panties) … stick to the basics of black or red.
Let’s start with the easy; and keep in mind, the whole idea of knowing her tastes falls with almost every other point below. Her daily wardrobe will give you the best clues to her lingerie personality. Are her colour choices are subtle, vibrant, coordinated? Does she own more than one pair of heels higher than 3-inches? Pay attention to her everyday life to discover the best way to get her into something a little sexier. If her go-to look is your old college sweatshirt and a pair of tired ol’ track pants, chances are she’s not going to trade them for a clingy, sheer, gartered teddy with some Cuban-heel stockings.
Classic looks are always winners when starting out – flirty babydolls, lacy teddies, even the three-piece bra/panty/garterbelt set. Save the kinky stuff until you know she’s really into playing the seductress role.
Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. If you saw me in my daily setting, you would never suspect I had a travel trunk chalk full of naughty intimates. Some women have conflicting environments – a work role that is stylishly restrictive, so a bedroom style that blows up the sensuality and sexuality. But if she’s one these women, you’ll already know.
Know her reality
In all the time you have ever been together have you heard her say, “I just love how that thin fabric strip of a thong makes me feel like I’m being sawn in half.” I hate thongs. I almost never wear them except for when I do photo shoots or with the occasional dress that won’t let me get away with something I find more comfortable – and even then I can assure you, I’m weighing the reality of going commando.
It pays to know what she likes in her daily life – because if she thinks you expect her to get all glammed up for a night of bedroom passion, she’s already feeling performance anxiety. Don’t add to her reluctance by making her stray too far from what she feels comfortable in. Besides, if you play the whole plan properly, the thong/bikini/boyshorts won’t stay on for long anyway.
Know her limits
Ask yourself the question “Will she really like this?” I love lingerie. I wear a lot of it, I pose in and out of a lot of it … I’ve had men who weren’t my husband buy me lingerie to wear, I’ve bought lingerie to wear for men that weren’t my husband. But over time I have also come to realize that I tend to be a little unique. Most women don’t own a lot of lingerie, and some probably have only ever worn it on their wedding day. If this is your partner, that 50 Shades of Grey-inspired pleather outfit with wet-look stockings, riding crop and 6-inch stilettos may not be a good way to introduce her to the idea of wearing lingerie.
If your wife or girlfriend doesn’t have a lot of colourful underwear already (bras, panties) … stick to the basics of black or red. If she’s self-conscious, black is always best even if it is a bit cliché. If she’s a more colourful type, ask her what her favourite colour is and stick with that.
Also consider if it is the kind of lingerie you’d like her to wear outside of the house. That can also determine how much of a leap is required in her comfort level.
Know your budget
Maybe you’ve heard that country song by Gretchen Wilson that says “Victoria’s Secret, their stuff’s real nice … but I can get the same thing from Wal-Mart half-price.” I’m not suggesting you cheap out on your purchase, but you also need to recognize that some women may only wear your purchase once. And they may only wear it for a matter of minutes. Are you really keen on dropping that $600 for La Perla or Agent Provocateur?
As someone who has worn a lot of different pieces of lingerie over the past several years, I can honestly tell you that your best bang for your buck won’t come from the money spent – but the consideration given to how she will look while wearing it, especially if she is not a frequent connoisseur of lacy things.
Know her size
This goes without saying; if you take nothing else from my blog today, at least take this one tip with you. There’s no excuse for not knowing her size – she has a drawer full of bras, panties and other assorted items that she wears on a daily basis. Do your homework before you buy.
Predict the future
OK, you’re probably wondering how this relates. Easy, if you pay attention to the clues she gives you and her lifestyle, you’ll already have everything you need to wow her with lingerie that she will happily slip into. Just like hunting, don’t go in for the kill if you haven’t stalked your prey – and a woman in lingerie is a rare and allusive creature. She can be skittish and easily scared off.
Above all, if the risks still seem too great, try the old-fashioned route: ask.
And don’t forget the stockings …
Andee xoxo
Twitter | #askandee – The Answers
Hey there! I know not everyone could join in last Friday for my first-ever Twitter chat, so I have archived the questions for those who wanted to catch up with what people asked me, and some of the answers I gave. I think I’ll definitely do this again, probably in the fall, so that should give you lots of time to come up with some intriguing questions to throw my way.
To help add a bit of context to some of my answers – especially since Twitter only lets you use 140 characters, I’ve included some links to previous thoughts and ideas on some of the topics that came up. Hope you enjoy!
What is something that never fails to get your turned on and horny?
Something that never fails to turn me on? Kissing. A hot, lots of tongue, passionate kiss always hits me between the thighs
Do you have a favorite part of foreplay?
Foreplay favourite? Toughie…either the build up with oral #sex, or when a man uses his long, probing fingers in/on me
Foreplay and engaging the mind is a huge key in great sex…the imagination is your greatest sex toy @StayGoldJersey
What’s your favorite position?
Favourite position? Hands down, I am a doggystyle sex girl. Love, love, love getting it from behind and bent over.
https://andeesc2.wordpress.com/2014/03/01/take-me-from-behind-boys/
Have you ever dated someone famous?
Famous boyfriends? Not really, although hubby’s former job was very public and he was/is somewhat well-known
If you divorced, would you consider marriage again?
Re-marry? Don’t think I would…but I’d definitely be enjoying singlehood and exploring the idea of friends with benefits
Is there anything you’d change about your looks with plastic surgery if you could afford it?
Plastic surgery? Only thing I’d consider would be having the girls done…not bigger, but put back to the way they used to be
@AndeeSC2 Please don’t let them mess with your nipples. Biggest mistake by women is to let the surgeon cut into them.
I’m doubtful I would ever have the girls done anyway…better things to invest my money in right now @StayGoldJersey
What is the kinkiest thing you have done with yourself?
Kinky self-fun? Nothing outrageous, but I have an affection for long-neck wine bottles and the vibration of a Dyson vacuum
Do you ever wake up your hubby with oral sex?
Oral sex wake up? I have in the past…not a frequent occasion; I prefer things like waking him up with a BJ to be unique
What do you like least about doing amateur porn?
Like least about porn: the fear and reality of having to tell my children someday when the find out @pleasure_spot
What do you like most about doing amateur porn?
Like most about doing porn: the sexual discovery, the adventure and spice it has brought to my marriage (and the attention) @pleasure_spot
https://andeesc2.wordpress.com/2011/02/20/porn-five-reasons-why-we-do-it/
https://andeesc2.wordpress.com/2011/01/12/the-biz-my-take-on-porn/
Was it your idea to start doing porn, or hubby’s?
Idea to start porn? My husband first brought up the idea, on a dare…I lost, pics posted, started to like the results/attention @pleasure_spot
@AndeeSC2 I never would have guessed you got into this on a dare. Did you already have exhibitionist tendencies?
@pleasure_spot I’ve always been a bit daring… and comfortable in front of the camera. Things grew from there and I kind of enjoyed it
https://andeesc2.wordpress.com/2011/01/20/naked-photos-why-pose-for-porn
Does your husband ever get jealous?
Does hubby get jealous? Quite the opposite, he loves showing me off and seeing the attention from my fans @pleasure_spot
https://andeesc2.wordpress.com/2011/04/20/flirting-wife-my-husband-deals-with-it/
Will you and hubby ever try “swinging” again?
Swinging again? He’s game. I’ll never say never, it didn’t work out for us the first time…but I still have many curiosities!
@AndeeSC2 I’ve never partook in the activity but I believe the majority of women would be more into #strange then men.
@StayGoldJersey My experience in swinging has shown me that it tends to be a woman in control atmosphere.
@AndeeSC2 Just like in the street, guys better act right or they’re going home with their hand. #truth
How encouraging is/was your hubby in your website?
Hubby and my site? He’s very much a big partner in the whole crime, and I wouldn’t do it without his support and involvement @pleasure_spot
How often do you and hubby indulge in anal sex
Anal sex? Not very often. Depending on the moment, there is sometimes a bit of play, but not penetration very much. @BIGRICHIE7
How long do you plan on being a Southern Charm?
How much longer a Charm? I have no plans to give up my site yet; enjoying the fun & spice it brings to my marriage. @BIGRICHIE7
Can I name one of my sex toys Big Richie?
Naming my sex toys: I don’t actually have nicknames for any of them other than “Oh, my god that’s huge!” LOL @BIGRICHIE7
Do you enjoy sex outside under the moonlight?
Outdoor sex at night? It’s extremely romantic and I have a few times in the past made love under the moonlight. @BIGRICHIE
Do you enjoy giving massage and tug jobs?
Handjobs isn’t something I’ve been awarded any prizes for…word is I give great oral, so I stick with that talent @StayGoldJersey
What is your favourite lingerie?
Favourite lingerie? Right now, my favourite is in my update 428 – sexy red piece from a friend, great stockings @iankeegan27_ian
What is the most public place you have had sex? Given a blowjob?
Public sex? Hmm…pressed against a hotel window overlooking the Las Vegas strip @StayGoldJersey
It was very erotic for me, knowing that if someone looked up, they would see…Vegas being Vegas 😉 @StayGoldJersey
Public blowjob? Driving on the highway is probably the most public, if you looked into the car. @StayGoldJersey
https://andeesc2.wordpress.com/2011/06/30/five-places-ive-blown-his-mind/
What position is the easiest for you to achieve an orgasm?
Orgasm position? I’m one of those women that needs help, so missionary with my vibrating toy or an amazing tongue @StayGoldJersey
After your first orgasm, is it easy for you to have multiple orgasms?
Multiple orgasms? Used to be easier before kids…but I’m usually good to get another one or two out with help @StayGoldJersey
https://andeesc2.wordpress.com/2012/09/11/tmi-tuesday-orgasms-andee
Are you a loud, dirty talker during sex?
Loud and dirty? Not really…having kids had calmed the volume…but I enjoy good dirty sexy talk @iankeegan27_ian
https://andeesc2.wordpress.com/2011/08/06/aural-sex-loving-the-dirty-talk/
How often do you have sex?
How often do I have sex? It varies on what life dishes out. An average would be 7-10 times per month @iankeegan27_ian
Where is your favourite place for a man to cum?
Fav place for cum? Love feeling a man deep inside me, but I also enjoy having him cum in my mouth @iankeegan27_ian
What do you like most about your body?
What do I like most about my body? My eyes always get compliments…my legs…but for porn, whatever draws fans! @iankeegan27_ian
Why don’t you like pantyhose?
Pantyhose? always found them uncomfy, being short, never fit…hubby introduced me to stockings, which I prefer. @silversurfera1
Never really liked them…being short means they rarely fit properly. Thigh highs and stockings produce better reactions @silversurfera1
https://andeesc2.wordpress.com/2012/04/12/how-i-became-addicted-to-your-fetish/
Have you had sex with anyone other than your husband since you got married?
Since I have been married, the only thing I have done with anyone else has been #oral #askandee @iankeegan27_ian
Sex with someone else while married? Only women…no guys…but we’re not saying it’s off the table 😉 @StayGoldJersey
I say “not off the table” but the reality is, there has to be chemistry for me. Not looking for just a hookup @StayGoldJersey
Have you ever had sex with a member or fan of your site?
Slept with a fan/member? No, I’m happily married and don’t use my site as a way to hook-up. Some do, just not me. @iankeegan27_ian
Do you ever let your fans take you out?
Dating fans? I tried a “meet me” contest a couple times; didn’t really work out that well…might be geography @iankeegan27_ian
And honestly, I’m not adverse to the idea of meeting fans, but it would have to in the right setting and context @iankeegan27_ian
Guys think that because I have my website that I am easy and looking for sex…which is far from the truth @iankeegan27_ian
@silversurfera1 Some people just have a twisted idea of why some women are OK with doing porn
@AndeeSC2 @iankeegan27_ian I imagine it’s hard for people to understand the “dualism” involved with doing an adult site & your “normal” life
I think you nailed it there… and there is even “dualism” in doing a site, amateur versus professional @silversurfera1
So, setting would be public, chaperoned without question and no guarantee of anything but a friendly conversation @iankeegan27_ian
And there you, the best snippets and questions from my first #askandee Twitter chat. Hope you’ll join me again in the fall for my next one!
Andee xoxo
Trying Not To Look Too Slutty
It has been a while since I dug into my collection of questions from people I have encountered on here and some of the other online avenues of my life; and with the sun starting to actually melt the frozen tundra that is my neighbourhood I thought it would be a good time to put some specific answers out there.
andeesc2 