Monthly Archives: June 2012
This week sure took its time coming to an end. I guess because it is our holiday weekend up here for Canada Day that made it seem to be even longer. Regardless, I just have today to put in and then off for three glorious days!
As I was trying to think about what naughtiness I could get up to this weekend, I figured a good place to start would be going back to something I haven’t done in quite some time. I have let some of my Formspring questions go by the wayside, and so today I am picking one of the more explicit ones to get your Friday really steamed up.
“What was it like for you when you first went down on another woman?”
Oh, wow … how can I put that experience in words? Other than “Oh, wow!”
I’ll be honest, I was feeling a huge mix of excitement, fear, horniness … and if I’m not mistaken, a healthy dose of alcohol-induced bravery.
The one thing that remains in my mind today is how much I enjoyed how she tasted. I think that tends to be people’s biggest initial fear when doing something orally sexual for the first time. And it’s hard to explain why I had that notion, as by the time the opportunity presented itself, I was very sexually experienced.
The erotic nature of the moment was also heightened by the fact that both our husbands were watching.
After a healthy amount of foreplay between all of us, and her having already gotten a very good taste of me, it was my turn to finally answer some of the curiosities I had in my mind. I followed the same kind of idea that my own partners have done in that same position, slowly working my way down her body until I was directly between her spread thighs. I gently touched her with my fingers at first, getting my first very close look at her pussy.
I teased her for just a minute with my fingers before edging in close enough to touch her with my tongue. I ran the tip along both side of her moist cunt before setting in on her swollen clit. It didn’t take long for my fear of the unknown to disappear and my curiosities to be confirmed – I loved every second of it.
The more I worked her over with her mouth, the more she moaned these sexy little moans, then grabbed at my head. All of a sudden I totally got why my husband loved it when I reacted in the same fashion.
By the end of the whole experience, I was dripping from burying my tongue deep into her. And in my own mind, I knew this was something I would remember fondly – and seek to repeat many times over.
You reach a certain point in life where there are not many things that will truly scare the crap out of you. Sure, we can point to the fastest, loopiest roller coaster at the amusement park and say “that scares the crap out of me,” but what about those experiences that don’t involve strapping yourself into something perched ever-so-precariously on a set of rails?
When I first set out to actually arrange my rendezvous with my Office Guy, I said “How many things are left in life that truly scares you?” It wasn’t about thrill rides, but rather thrill-seeking.
My sexual adventure has been building, evolving and taking left turns for almost a decade now. And in that time I have had the opportunity to change my bi-curiosity into recognizing my bisexuality. I have dipped my toes into “the lifestyle” and recognize there are still a lot of things I would like to continue to explore in that regard. And, as you have all read about over the past couple months, I explored an even bigger fantasy, turning it into a reality – and anxiously await the opportunity for a repeat.
I’m not sure where this thought came out though – maybe in one of the many conversations I have had with friends about the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy – but, “is there anything that still scares you in a sexual way?”
Yes, absolutely … but not in a Fifty Shades kind of way; but sort of, at the same time.
As I have explored more and more about what turns me on, and what are some of my own sexual kinks, likes and dislikes, there isn’t much left that I would like to try. There is an awful lot, as I mentioned, that I would like to try again, mind you. Overall, I’ve had an assortment of sexual acts performed on me, with me, for me, had a variety of things inserted here, there and damn-you-better-use-extra-lube-if-you’re-going-there, and ultimately discovered what gets me off.
I’m not scared by experimenting sexually. I might get butterflies and have a healthy combination of excitement and nerves, but overall I think I have done most of what can be done without involving pain and humiliation.
To a certain degree, what scares me the most about sex is discovering something that I can’t always have. For example: I have a huge desire to participate in a full-out MFM threesome. I can’t tell you how much of my sexual fantasy revolves around this idea – to the point where it occupies the top three spots on my sexual bucket list, just to be sure. My husband and I have dabbled around the opportunity to the point where it is kind of that “next step.” But what I am afraid of is that like a lot of fantasies, the reality of the moment could go one of two ways: either it fails to live up to the billing, or I love it so much that it becomes an obsession.
Right now, the object of my non-marital desire is mired in his own marital complications. And I’m not a woman who is going to seek out a third for my fantasy just to check it off the list. I want someone who I am attracted to.
So, while my husband and I mutually enjoy this part of the adventure as things unfold, we have to recognize that the other person involved is doing so in a much more secretive and complicated fashion. And I’m afraid that I might just enjoy it a bit too much, and then watch it get even more complicated as time passes.
Another thought to add to the mix, there is part of me that is still scared by the idea of finding myself in a sexual situation where I have no control. Again, even in those brief and somewhat vanilla BDSM situations I have found myself, there has always been an element of security, knowing I could say “stop” in the event that I wasn’t enjoying it. I’m not sure what kind of situation I would ever find myself in without that being a reasonable understanding, but losing control is something that does scare me.
Well, doesn’t this week’s TMI Tuesday entry make me feel a little smug! The folks that bring us the insightful themes each week picked the questions I sent in recently; and now I’m anxious to see what everyone else has to offer up on these summertime TMI subjects:
Without question, one of my favourite things to do is hit the beach and kick back with a hot book in my sexiest bikini. Add a few ice-cold vodka coolers to the mix and we’re all set!
One of the biggest delights for me when I spend some time on the beach is being able to watch all the other people there. I’m a huge social voyeur, so it’s very entertaining to see how we interact with each other, from the young posers to the been-together-forever lovers, from the sun-worshippers to the slather-me-in-zinc shade seekers.
As much as I would love to thrill and excite you with all the explicit details of my first date to the drive-in, it was actually a very polite and well-behaved experience. Even though we sat in the back seat together and made out like teenagers (well, I actually was one), he was the perfect gentleman. I figured after that night, he must have really liked me – given how patient he was and well-mannered despite his obvious state of arousal. Fortunately for both of us, all the hot stuff came on our second date!
But the experience started what has become a very passionate love affair with my soul mate.
Not really. As I have been with the same man since I was 16, life hasn’t really allowed me to enjoy that summer fling. In the beginning of our relationship, I wondered if it was going to be one of those summer flings, given the vast difference in our ages. Maybe it has been, just a summer fling that has lasted 22 years this July 13.
No, not yet. I would love to try it just once to experience the sensation of going nude among a crowd. There is a legal clothing-optional beach not far from where I live, but the issue is that the beach has become a hot-spot for the gay/lesbian/transsexual community … and unfortunately has gained a reputation for being just a bit beyond socially-acceptable behaviour. While I am very sex-positive, I don’t think that I want to expose myself to a very “out and proud and proving it” atmosphere.
Maybe this is one of those moments I’ll save for when my hubby and I take off for a romantic/sexual adventure experience in the Caribbean.
I would like to say both are very sexy, almost-there, beachwear choices…BUT…have you ever noticed that the people who do choose to go to that level of bravery are the ones that should show a little cowardice? Around here the Speedo is usually the attire of European men over the age of 60. Of course, that is very judgmental of me but I think you will agree that anyone with 0% body-fat and the ever elusive 8-pack abdomen only slip on the tiny stuff for the physique competition pose-downs.
Now, having said that, I find a guy in a stylish swimsuit – and age-appropriate – to be incredibly sexy. I like a little left to my imagination.
Oh, and I live in Ontario where it is legal for women to go topless – but once again, very few people under the age of 60 choose to exercise that right. Well … them, a few drunken coeds at a Motley Crue concert and some tattooed biker chicks at Port Dover’s annual Friday the 13th motorcycle rally.
Having sex outside is one of my personal kinks that I would love to roll out an awful lot more. I love the freedom and heightened sense of excitement that comes with doing it in the great outdoors.
While there are a few memorable occasions for me, definitely the most memorable occurred when my family and I went camping to one of Canada’s most famous national parks – Algonquin. After we had arrived at our campsite, and set some of our things up, my husband began to make a few amorous suggestions about slipping into the dining shelter for a little vacation celebration. As the kids were out and about doing their own thing, I agreed to a steamy quickie by the Coleman.
Nothing outrageous about sharing some spontaneous intimacy with the canvas flaps down – until about 20 minutes later when our neighbour’s campsite was invaded by a 450lb Canadian black bear. As you can see, Yogi made quick work of the nylon tent in his bid to locate the stored food the idiot had left stored inside. To this day I can’t help but giggle about the jokes over the bear-skin run coming to life in the middle of me getting it doggy-style.
I’m a sucker for a romantic sunset over the water … and other than having to get up for work, I’m not really much of a morning person. Plus, after you have found your way to that secluded spot on the beach to enjoy the sunset, all the night moves can begin.
Hmm … I would have to say that my most favourite thirst-quencher right now is Woody’s Pink Grapefruit vodka coolers.
As for my lust, I’m not sure that I want it to be quenched. I think I would rather have it raging and prominent. But, realistically, what really fuels that fire is the arrival of the warm weather means we get to strip down and shed some of the layers we have worn for the past few months. Then, with this opportunity for more exposed flesh comes the sexy sensation of having someone touch me, fondle me … kiss me.
Summer is the perfect season for teasing, taunting, fondling … easy-access handjobs and let-me-lick-you-like-an-ice-cream-cone oral sex.
Ultimately, summer is ideal for heating up all the sexual activity. Somehow getting sweaty seems much more rewarding at this time of year; as we get to ditch the blankets, shed the flannel pajamas and it doesn’t get dark at 4:30.
How about “yes” to all three?
I think sex on the beach – if planned extremely carefully – would be highly erotic. That said, from what I have heard from members of the sandbar club, it can also be extremely uncomfortable if you get even a single grain in the wrong spot at the wrong moment.
A picnic, in my mind, would have to be one of those “slip away from the party for a private celebration” moments … and maybe bringing the strawberries and whipped creme along with us.
Camping – something I have done pretty much every time we pitch the tent. See #6 for why I would like a different species of audience next time.
This past weekend, I spent some time away with my family doing some of the Mom things that being a Mom brings. Of course, it was also the time to connect with some people that we socialize with on a different level – and enjoy different conversations ripe with smirks and knowing looks between my husband and I when other people say things that make us think “if they only knew.”
Our favourite was when one of the other Moms was talking about this couple they knew and how this couple had attended a “swingers club” in our particular city. Naturally, my husband enjoyed that … “In our town? Really? How kinky…”
Uh huh … just bite your tongue honey. And then get the names.
I often wonder if when they are talking about things like that, if they are throwing the idea out there and waiting to see who appears shocked and who appears intrigued. And then I also listen intently to try to determine who much information they actually know about what swingers clubs are really like. Most people have a very naïve understanding of them; believing that they are true Sodom and Gomorrahs – with a wall to wall orgy taking place.
If that was the case, I know we would be there every damn weekend! And, it’s not like I can ever really correct them and explain that clubs just aren’t allowed to be these wild, sexual parties and maintain their liquor licence in Ontario … and that most people don’t play that way either.
In the end, it didn’t really matter other than for amusement, because they weren’t really our type anyway.
One of the other topics that came up – as we were all sitting in the hotel hallway enjoying a few/several adult drinks as our kids slept in the rooms – was about moments when you are just not in the mood: such as trying to get busy in the hotel room while away for these kind of weekends. Kind of an odd polar opposite to the more intriguing conversation about swingers clubs, but nonetheless, always amusing to hear other women complain about having to “give it up just because we’re away for the weekend.”
And from that spun the broader conversation of being accommodating and having sex when you don’t really want to … definitely not a fit with the swinging conversation that started this whole debate!
Personally, in a healthy relationship compromise isn’t just about who vacuums and who feeds the cats. It involves an awful lot of give and take on many levels; from family vacations, career aspirations and, every now and then, sex. You have to expect that when you share your life and space with someone, both of you are not going to always be on the same sexual clock.
While I can’t provide an exact moment of when I gave in for sex just for the sake of having him leave me alone, I am sure there have been times when my libido wasn’t exactly peeking. That is a natural thing, though. As much as I enjoy – and invite you all in to read, see and learn – my sex life, it’s not a constant state of mind. Like everyone else, I get bogged down with work, family life, social demands and things in general. All of which occasionally conspire to cool it down in the bedroom.
But, I know I’m not someone who complains about being the object of his desire – and maybe that is more from where the complaints were coming from in this conversation; that the sex was selfish and one-sided. If that’s the case, then there is something much deeper at the root of your sexual problems as a couple.
As for me this weekend, I just told my husband to be quiet and then bit my lip through most of it. But since I was the one who stuck my hand into his pajamas, I can’t say I wasn’t really looking to give it up just because he wanted it … and I can tell he wasn’t complaining either.
I had way better plans for today, but my friggin’ Internet is down at home – and I find myself trying to do all this secretly from the confines of work. I feel so … naughty.
Anyway, it is another TMI Tuesday for you to enjoy and I hope you find it insightful and worth a small distraction today!
No, we’re not.
Do you believe in horoscopes?
I think I am one of those people who would love to believe they come true, but in all honesty, I tend to see that more when the horoscope suggests something is amiss as opposed to something good is coming my way.
When is your birthday?
What’s the worst birthday gift a partner has given you?
Oh, tough question … hmm … very hard to come up with something from my current partner, because he usually spoils the hell out of me. I can tell you the one he likes to bring up every now and then. Back when I was a teenager, for one of my birthdays, my brother gave me a pack of Doritos. Nothing says sibling love like cheesy paste on your fingertips!
Are you organized when it comes to other people’s birthdays?
I’m not the birthday party queen, but I certainly keep tabs on when birthdays are coming up – and when the occasion calls for it, organizing a smash-up success of a celebration.
If you could be one age again, what would it be? Why?
I don’t think I could say there is one specific age that I would like to be without a bunch of conditions attached. For example, I would love to have the body I had when I was 18, but only with the knowledge and sexual experience that I have today. I look back at photos from when I was that age and think “Damn, I should have been doing my website then, not now!” But, like so many things in life, with age comes experience and I don’t think I would be willing to surrender what I have learned along the way.
There are other times when I think back – usually when dealing with my own kids’ ridiculous expectations – and wonder what it would be like to enjoy a life free of most obligations and responsibility. You know, wouldn’t it be great to be 12 again and have the biggest decision of the day be whether or not to ride my bicycle that day, or play in the woods at the back of our property. It would be marvelous to let go of the financial fears and burdens of adulthood just for a while.
What would be your ideal birthday treat?
Well, you know I gotta put something steamy and really sexual in here; all the other questions were relatively tame compared to other TMI Tuesday updates.
It’s not that hard to figure out. I would love to celebrate my birthday as the centre of attention in a very steamy, sexy, dirty, naughty, orgasmic threesome. It’s something I have mentioned a few times to the person usually looking after arranging my birthday celebrations, but to be fair, there is an awful lot of reality behind why this has not yet happened.
BONUS: Tell us your best birthday memory.
Hmm … like I said, I get pretty spoiled for my birthdays by my husband. Right now what sticks out in my mind is the very last one we celebrated. He planned the day so I had to literally start from scratch through to when I got home for my birthday ….
We left in the early afternoon; at which point he took me shopping with some very clear instructions that he had written into a little board game idea. I had to go and buy new underwear, then a new dress and shoes to go. From there, as we left the mall, I had to actually get into these new things in the car – which was a lot of fun. We went to a very romantic restaurant overlooking the lake; and then made our way to the casino. Now, a lot of people may think “really?” But he had planned the whole night to help me create a list of truths, dares, risks and fantasies – kind of like a bucket list. The theme was “taking a gamble” and since I had never been to the casino (outside of a brief experience in Vegas), it was allowing me to experience another “first” in my life.
Another memory was when I turned 30 my husband had planned something similar, in which I had to follow a little Survivor-style scavenger hunt game he designed – once again including shopping for new underwear and clothes for a night out. At dinner time, he had arranged for a whole bunch of my girlfriends and I to attend a dinner theatre show, and then he took all of us out to a dance club that night, playing designated-driver to a bunch of drunken women.
BONUS BONUS: May we see you in your birthday suit?
Why not, thousands of others have …
And you can see all kinds of uncensored versions of me in my birthday suit on my website.