Monthly Archives: December 2010
OK, I should be doing more with my time than surfing the internet, but my hubby has been asked to give a little speech on New Years for a very special couple in our lives who are celebrating an anniversary. He’s one of those people who you love to hate because he has a way with words and is just too damn comfortable in front of large crowds. I offered to pitch in with some help and I found this little bit about romantic quotes, so I had to share it … knowing full well there were tons of romantics out there too!
“Love is a friendship set to music.”
–E. Joseph Cossman
“If you have it [love], you don’t need anything else, and if you don’t have it, it doesn’t matter much what else you have.”
–Sir James M. Barrie
|Kiss Me Like You Mean It|
“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.”
–Franklin P. Jones
“Love is a canvas furnished by nature and embroidered by imagination.”
“At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet.”
“Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.”
–Henry Louis Mencken
“Love is an irresistable desire to be irresistibly desired.”
“True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.”
Have a very ROMANTIC evening. There’s only one left this year!
Hey everyone … hope Santa was good to you this year!
I was reading a really interesting article on the Internet about an Australian sex survey from Australian author Joan Sauers … It was from a while ago, but curious none the less. I’m going to write a bit more about it after I finishing reading more (nudge, nudge), but here’s a few of the highlights that I found intriguing:
- 1 in 5 women have made a sex tape
- 1 in 4 women look at pornography at least once a month
- 1 in 3 women rarely or never experience orgasm
- 57 per cent of women fantasize about sex with another woman
- 22 per cent of women have had a sexual experience with another woman
- Top fantasy partners – George Clooney and Angelina Jolie
Quite the interesting results. I can say “check” to everything but the orgasm – and I feel for those women! And I can’t say that Angelina ranks anywhere on my fantasy list. I swear I’m the only one who thinks she’s an average looking sleazy home-wrecker. I don’t understand Hollywood’s fascination …
Anyway, one of Sauers’ key comments about some of the results was how she was surprised about the lack of communication that still exists between couples. One of the other surprising was how some of the women lived very liberated lives outside of the home – business professionals, lawyers, doctors, etc. Yet at home, they still felt the need to hide their sexual selves from their partners.
“There was one woman who said, when I asked how she had an orgasm, ‘Oh, I go into the bathroom and masturbate after we’ve had sex.’ It’s really sad. This is the funny thing, a lot of the women in the survey, including women who described stories like that, are doctors and lawyers and they’re supposedly liberated in their public lives. But in their private lives they’re still sort of back in the 1950s, which is bizarre.”
What I also found interesting was that, while 1 in 5 women had made videos of intimate moments with their partners, Sauer says that significant portion of them regretted doing it after the fact. She pointed out that the survey uncovered that the majority of video voyeurs were women in their 20s using cell phones to record the act as a “bit of exhibitionist fun.” Others said they agreed to it so their partners would be able to watch a graphic video of themselves instead of turning to something a bit more “commercial.”
Of course we know that rarely works out in today’s highly electronic age. There are hundreds upon hundreds of websites, forums and newsgroups where these amateur films land.
I don’t know about you, but I actually find a lot of this stuff fascinating. As someone who has pretty much ensured I could never run for any kind of public office – with the abundance of naughty home movies circulating with me in them – I guess I’m not the leading candidate to make judgement. But what I did find curious was the level of regret expressed.
Do I have any regrets about doing my live-action naughtiness for all to download and then probably bust a load? Part of me says yes. When I first started with the idea of a website, I was naively agreeable to the photography. I had never envisioned myself as anything close to being a “closet porn star” so it seemed like a fun little hobby between my husband and I that barely anyone would ever take notice of. The very first video I did for public viewing was about the most boring piece of crap ever posted. It was nothing more than several minutes of me posing during a photo shoot, acting as if the video camera wasn’t even rolling. I’m embarrassed to say these days that video was my introduction to movie porn.
I swore that I would never be one of those models with spunk running down my chin (you can see that here) or getting off on some monster sex toy (you can see that here). I was going to be the demure little girl-next-door with some racy boudoir photos. But then I began to learn about the Internet and men’s fascination with amateur porn. I was drawn in perversely by the reaction and interaction the Web provided me with these anonymous lovers. I grew into this sex-crazed 30-something “slut” while remaining the quiet, bookish science geek to those who didn’t know my secret – trading my sterile gown for sequins and stilettos on the weekend.
Today, honestly, I think I enjoy the illusion of being ‘Andee,’ all the while being the Mom, housewife, career woman. The shock from those around me as more of ‘Andee’ surfaces in conversation when they thought I was just the quiet one who knew the proper drug formula is disturbingly more erotic to me than the movies I have made for you.
I do fear what the future may bring, both with a sense of positive nervousness over what my adventure holds, but also apprehension about how I may yet have to explain myself to my children. But, life can’t be lived in fear, so, to quote some famous dead guy – “Regrets? I’ve had a few … but I did it my way.”
Think I might have to pick up Sauers book for to read while I’m riding the train to work.
|Merry Christmas! Love Andee xoxo|
I read the most fascinating article at break today. I had visions of leaving you guys with the super sexy blog for the holiday (OK, I still probably will) until I saw this piece in – put your geek on boys – Psychology Today from March 2009: You’re Driving Me Crazy – 10 Relationship Headaches & How To Avoid Them. Kinda like Cosmo for the science geek gang, I suppose.
It was discussing the conflicts that exist in relationships. Of course these pieces are written so no matter what, you find yourself in one of the sections. But it was the one about flirting that held my attention more than the “why you might feel unappreciated.” The article suggests that flirting is the result of the person feeling a lack of “closeness.”
The author quotes one his sources as suggesting that flirting is a call from the partner saying, “please notice me!” and that the one doing the flirting is looking for playfulness, attention and fulfillment.”
The problem is, no matter how you argue against that perspective, the experts will suggest that there is some deep purpose, perhaps a repressed emotion, which creates the motivation for flirting.
The article also suggests that someone with a flirting spouse needs to address the issue of why his or her partner is feeling a lack of attention.
My question – as someone who does not hold a degree in psychology or psychiatry – is simple: what if the flirting is an intentional, directed act. One not designed to create a sense of competition in my male partner to pay more attention to me because other men will, but rather an act that I openly share with him as one of devious, naughty delight?
I have never denied that I am a certified flirt. My goodness, a huge part of my blogging and twittering and facebooking has been as an outlet for flirting in this new electronic age. God forbid the courts ever get a hold of my cell phone! My husband has what many would say are sick and twisted perversions about my flirtatious ways – and I can whole-heartedly say, it rarely leaves me feeling neither unappreciated nor lacking intimacy in my marriage.
I often, with complete conscious intent, put myself into situations where I know innuendo will be the theme of the day. Unbeknownst to the vast majority of my friends, I spend some of my weekend entertainment money on clothes that have less fabric than your average dinner napkin – and then freely wear them to certain kinds of establishments where I risk being over-dressed. And at every step, my partner is there to absorb every moment, relish in every sexually charged dance – and if he’s lucky, taste the kiss of someone else on my lips.
OK, maybe we’re a different kind of couple than most. The majority of the traditional hang-ups that couples experience have been shuffled from my relationship through adventure, exploration and communication. I certainly can’t suggest anyone try my lifestyle, nor would I expect them to ask me to lead theirs.
But, I can say that flirting is a natural, human act that should be encouraged to be part of a healthy relationship, not condemned.
And with that, my lunch hour is now over … I must return to my not-so-enticing science geek persona, sterile lab coat (and people wonder why I go a little nutty on the weekends) and leave the flirting for coffee break. Sure hope I can wait that long!
One more work day to go before the Big Guy shows up! Sure hope I get what I have been asking for … I’ve tried very hard to be good in between all the times I was naughty.
Today’s blog is brought to you by the letter M … once again. Or maybe that should be the letter O, because it is the result of a nice bit of M.
Anyway, here’s a little something to keep you occupied for a day 😉
Have you ever watched yourself masturbate in a mirror, or even taped it?
The short answer is yes, and yes … you can see a couple of those moments on my website.
But away from doing it for you guys to enjoy online, I have to say, I’m not really one to watch myself doing anything in particular when it comes to sex for personal pleasure. I’m so much more focused on how things are feeling that I’m afraid if I open my eyes, they’ll pop out! LOL
I watch all of my movies before they get put online for you guys. This is strictly so I can see just what kind of finished product my darling hubby has edited together from the files. For me to watch me; it’s a little strange if I do say so. Which is pretty bizarre, because I do like to watch others enjoy themselves that way as I mentioned the other day – and I don’t mind being watched. I find that quite a turn-on. I’ve really become quite the voyeur as I settle into this sexual adventure and just love the idea of two people who are really into each other getting into each other.
I kind of touched on it earlier, but never really expanded on the idea. There are times, when my husband is trying to send a little message to me, that he will start to play with himself and get his cock really hard. I will just put my head on his tummy and watch. That’s always a huge guarantee that I will be in the mood for some playtime. He also loves to watch me doing the same thing, and also watch me playing with myself.
I guess I just find it more interesting to see other people pleasuring themselves than it is to prop myself up and try to watch my own hand at work. I have “experimented” though. In one of the houses that we used to live in, we had some mirrors on the one bedroom wall. I would always try to position myself so I could get a really nice view of all the activity. And there was a couple of times that my curiosity did get me going. I never understood what my husband’s fascination was with the whole sex toy thing. Most guys I’ve met seem to be afraid of them. So, there I was tying to see what it must be like from his perspective. Didn’t really last too long – it felt just way too good. When I got one with a suction cup, well that was definitely a lot more erotic and exciting, but in the end I again just concentrated on the outcome versus the ‘input.’
When I was first introduced to sex toys for masturbation I wasn’t quite sure what to think. I had just turned 18, starting college and my guy got me one for my birthday. (That sounds weird, but trust me there’s more to the story there …)
I know some women simply won’t even think about using them. My sister, for example, was deeply insulted and offended when her husband bought her one as a little “marriage sparkler.” She was like “Have you ever seen a vibrator?” I didn’t admit that I had, by that time, acquired a growing collection of guaranteed orgasm-makers.
Unlike some, I have found them to be a wonderful addition to my otherwise fairly healthy sex-life. A nice toy can bring all kinds of pleasure to the moment. But, I also know that a lot of guys can be intimidated by them as well, and therefore never truly get to experience something that intimate with their lover. My very first one was a rather unrealistic looking one – and at the time, the whole experience was somewhat nerve-wracking. Well, at least until my first mind-blowing orgasm and the sheer look of delight on my boyfriend’s face! Since then I’ve become quite the connoisseur – that’s what my girlfriends say. I’ve turned a couple of them into Turbo Bunny junkies. (Word of advice guys, with Christmas coming in just one day, if she’s into toys and doesn’t have one of these, get her one…trust me) Over the years, I’ve built up a nice little collection: from a little fingertip vibe that I can just slide on and let my finger do the playing and my mind the wandering to some twisting, pulsing suction-cup beasts that leave me weak in the knees for hours!
Now, as a habit, I’m much more of a lay back and let everything proceed kinda girl. I like to focus on all the great sensations, and feel the pleasure. Even when someone is using my body as a private amusement park during oral or manual stimulation (with the exception of intercourse, of course). A big part of my orgasm is my mind and imagination when it comes to masturbation – which is likely true for most everyone.
But as we have begun a more honest effort at interior decorating at our house, my husband has promised to install mirrors in the bedroom in the very near future! Woohoo!!!
So tell me: is it a big turn on to know if a girl likes to watch herself?