Category Archives: Orgasm
It’s been a while since I wrote anything about a specific sex act. But then again, I did take an extended break of almost two-plus years on writing blog entries as a whole…
Despite the lack of writing, struggling through a roller coaster ride with my libido, work-related stress and planning for a major life upheaval – not a lot changed in my actual sexual routine. OK, you’re right, there was that eight-month separation from my husband when he moved overseas and I waited on my visa. What did change during that period was my masturbation habits increased dramatically, I had some reunions with my sexual fantasies in my head and rediscovered the thrill of cam-to-cam mutual masturbation.
But other than that …
The reunion with my husband after finding creative ways to keep the fires burning hot while on two sides of the world meant there was definitely some serious catching up on the sexual agenda. Cutting to the chase, that meant two things – lots of intercourse … and oral.
Oral for me has been a long-time delight, both receiving and giving. It was one of the very first sex acts I ever performed, but it wasn’t until I attended a workshop in my mid-20s that it became something of a specialty. I have blogged about that before, but in a nutshell – my radio-personality friend thought one of those “Drive Your Man Wild in Bed” seminars would make for great material, invited me along … she got some fun stuff for her show, I came away truly enlightened and anxious to try. My husband describes it to this day as the best-ever investment he’s ever made (he paid for my ticket to the event so I wouldn’t chicken out).
Blowjobs have been a staple in our sexual relationship – but despite the frequency and ‘willingness’ on my behalf to ‘go down’ – the end result is still somewhat predictable. If I’m not taking him too far, I’m switching up the moment to include intercourse.
So then, someone asked … “do you always swallow, or do you let him cum on your face or tits?”
I wrote about this in the past too – but, you know, talking about sex, blowjobs, stuff like that, is something that I do anyway, so revisiting the whole topic is yet another wonderful distraction in our world gone mad.
Facials – when the man cums on the woman’s face – isn’t something that has been a big part of my personal sexual repetoire. Well, unless you count chin dribbles. And it’s not because of anything deep-rooted in my sexual psyche; it’s actually because I rather like having a man cum in my mouth. You know, I’ve worked that hard to tempt, tease and drive him to the point of no return for his orgasm, I kind of want to enjoy the ‘fruits of my labour’ so to speak.
On occasion, I admit that it can be outrageously exciting to let him unload on me. As a sexual woman, I do find it exciting to watch a man’s moment of release. To see, somewhat up close, his peak moment of pleasure. However, there is some need to be cautious about exactly where some of that lands. Pepper spray is less painful in the eye than cum … just sayin’.
That said, it also took me a while, and a bit of sexual maturity, to arrive at a point in my life where I’ve gotten over the ‘grossness’ of swallowing a man’s cum. For some women, that’s the biggest hurdle in taking a man to completion. I saw the results of a sex survey a while back that said only about nine per cent of women would finish a man off with her mouth … which made a lot of sense to me.
It’s hard to describe the experience of having a man cum in your mouth to someone who has never had the experience. No matter how much warning he gives you, it’s still a surprise when that hot cum spurts onto your tongue, against the back of your mouth … onto your tonsils and back of your throat. If it’s been a while since he’s had an orgasm, that can add a new dimension to fighting the gag reflex! It’s exciting … unique … different every time.
It’s also a little addictive to me. I love the sense of power. Lots of people think a woman giving a blowjob is an act of submission. Trust me, when I have a man in my mouth, hard, horny and anxious for completion … I know who is in control.
A man’s ‘flavour’ is a constantly changing part of the experience too. And each man is different from the next. I can usually tell when my husband has been indulging in certain foods (beers, vegetables and fruits being the most frequent causes of his taste) – and there’s only a smackeral of truth to how some foods will make you taste better, guys. Only a small smackeral; it’s still cum, and it’s still not a gourmet feast.
Something I can say as I explore this world of sex in my 40s … the experience I have gained is making things like this far more interesting than they were in my 20s.
It all started with a silly little tweet about my latest naughty adventure – a new video – that was available for anyone who has an inclination towards those kinds of things. I know I’m not the best “salesperson” online, but every now and then I do try to “promote” the items that make ‘Andee’ who she is online … you know, the naughty bits.
My friend Miles responded by asking me if there was a time when things like my sex toys were intimidating.
And still … yes.
Now, for the longer explanation.
My first experience with a sex toy came when I was 18. I’d been with my boyfriend for a couple years at that point and, without question, we were rapidly discovering a whole new level of sexual adventure and excitement. A few weeks earlier we had been enjoying a quiet night at home with a bottle of wine and lots of foreplay. For some reason, I thought I would really blow his mind and use the now-empty wine bottle as a sex toy. The reaction from him was 10 times better than the sensation for me. Somewhere in my sexual psyche I had just figured out how powerful this visual torment could be.
It wasn’t long after I was the recipient of a proper, cock-shaped, c-battery powered vibrator. It was a very vanilla replication of a man’s cock. I think it was about six inches long, hard plastic and moulded like a very veiny penis. I never really figured out why it was so veiny, because it wasn’t something I could truly determine while it was in use. Later versions of the vibrating fake penis in my life where softer material and provided a much more accurate feeling. Veiny or not, hard plastic is hard plastic.
I still remember quiet clearly how nervous I was to use it after I opened the packaging. A lot of that intimidation was purely because I had no experience with such a thing, and was a little apprehensive over the idea of having something like it inside me. Add to that was the now-expected reality of allowing him to watch me use it – and allowing him to use it on me.
It’s definitely one thing to do spontaneous silly sexual experiments after a couple drinks – and another to incorporate foreign objects into your sex life as a habit.
The sensation of a vibrator sliding into you is hard to describe – especially to an audience that, for the most part, doesn’t have a vagina. And I can’t even say “try slipping one into your ass” to compare … because in my experience, that sensation is also different – despite only being a thin layer of tissue further south.
It was … weird … at first. It still is, to be honest. It’s a very unique sensation, but pleasant. For me, I won’t ever reach an orgasm without clitoral stimulation. That’s just the way I’m built. And most women are the same. However, the feeling of this vibrating shaft inside you certainly fires up all those nerves that help with drawing out an orgasm.
After a couple years of continued experimentation, I finally settled on something that has become my trusted “go to”. Small, but powerful, there’s nothing intimidating to it at all. When I masturbate I focus specifically on the area of my clit that will produce an orgasm; rarely do I perform any penetration. For me, that part of masturbation is really for an audience – be it you or my husband.
But that isn’t to say I haven’t continued to explore the “intriguing.”
I think the next true “frightening” toy that came my way was this huge hard plastic wand I received as a hostess gift for a lingerie and toy party I held (a different blog topic). It came with a small bullet vibrator you put in the middle of the long shaft. It took me a very long time to realize that this toy wasn’t actually meant for vaginal insertion (no, I didn’t discover it that way). Suffice to say, the bullet was repurposed and the plastic “bat” quietly disappeared.
It’s starting to seem like “hard plastic” is the issue for me … hmm.
The vibrator that prompted my friend to ask recently whether or not I experienced any fear over “moving parts” was, actually, the next step in my sex toy adventure. Long before they became an orgasmic sensation from the hype of Sex in the City, I had learned about this kind of toy. I was very intrigued by it, and can say it was the first sex toy I bought completely on my own – knowing my husband would hardly complain about my decision.
By the time I found it in the store, I had already become rather enthusiastic about the idea of the multiple options provided by this toy. I’m sure you can relate to the idea of being so excited for something helps eliminate the apprehension and nerves. I recall driving just a little faster on the way home from the sex shop. I was more than ready for a whole new orgasm by the time I packed the AAs into the handle and set the magic in motion.
It didn’t disappoint … several times that first afternoon.
Thinking back on my sex toy adventures, I would really have to say that the only thing that still ‘rattles’ me a little when I think about it, are the very large rubber dildos I have. These things are modelled after some very big cocks – the kind of size that is an honest rarity and reality in (I hazard to say) the huge majority of women’s sexual experience. Yes, guys will respond to this with the typical “you ain’t seen mine, baby.” But, as much as you want to believe there are an abundance of big dicks out there, statistics show that fact is more about big egos than big packages.
The average erect penis measures in around 5.5 inches. And, frankly, a ruler should never be part of your flesh-on-flesh sex life anyway.
My largest dildo measures in around 9 inches and is easily the biggest thing I have had inside me. Yes, the feeling is incredible, deep, hot … take any sexual adjective you can find and use it. BUT, the idea of getting something that big into me always makes my knees weak – and not with sexual delight. While massive cocks might be an ego boost in the locker room, they hurt like hell in the pussy. Perhaps one of mainstream porn’s biggest myths…
Despite having two children vaginally and a somewhat healthy sex life, it is this act that intimidates me the most. Strange as it may seem, the idea of many moving, vibrating parts – buzzing bunny ears, rotating micro-pearls and a twisting rubber head drizzled with a warming lube designed to heighten her experience – are less frightening to me than kneeling above a 9-inch rubber monster while wearing only a pair of stiletto heels and easing myself onto it. The vibrator I know will produce an orgasmic response from my body – riding the huge cock really won’t. The sensation of being so completely filled in a sexual sense is exciting, especially when I know how much of a turn on it is to my husband (and you guys) to watch me ride it – and while it rubs my tonsils from down below, it doesn’t rub be where those nerve endings will take me to sexual nirvana.
To me, the idea of the performance – and meeting the expectations of the audience – is far more intimidating than using a toy with a lot of moving parts. And, in my experience, that’s what a lot of those toys are really about – performing. My girlfriends will occasionally admit when the subject arises that, for the most part, a very simple external massager is what curls the toes. Masturbation for the sake of masturbation isn’t nearly as engaging as masturbation for the sake of getting others to masturbate.
And with all that said, it’s very important – extremely important – that men understand nothing will ever replace the feeling of having a real, in-the-flesh rock hard cock sliding into you. There’s no mechanical device that will ever replace that sensation and level of intimacy. So, there really doesn’t need to be any fear of being replaced by a vibrator.
But don’t be afraid to enjoy the show, either.
Hookups — brief uncommitted sexual encounters between individuals who are not romantic partners or dating each other.
“Hookups have emerged from more general social shifts taking place during the last century. Hookups began to become more frequent in the 1920s, with the upsurge of automobiles and novel entertainment, such as movie theaters. Instead of courting at home under a parent’s watchful eye, young adults left the home and were able to explore their sexuality more freely.
By the 1960s, young adults became even more sexually liberated, with the rise of feminism, widespread availability of birth control and growth of sex-integrated college party events. Today, sexual behavior outside of traditional committed romantic pair-bonds has become increasingly typical and socially acceptable (Bogle, 2007, 2008).” — Source
This is, quite easily, one of the more difficult TMI Tuesdays for me. Having been in a committed relationship now for almost 25 years, there isn’t a vast amount of “hook-up” dishing to be had. However, the idea captivates my attention because of the very nature of it – the pure sexual freedom and no emotional attachment. There’s a lot of potential in that.
There is a great debate somewhere in all of this – people of my generation and older may see these encounters as the old “one-night stand.” Whereas, as mentioned above, today’s youth may very well see these “sex for sex sake” encounters as normal behaviour.
1. When was your last hook-up?
So, here is where we will begin with my own twist on the concept. I can’t say that my encounter is a hook-up in the truest of senses, mainly because it was carefully planned, my husband was present for the entire encounter … and the only outcome was the exchange of oral sex.
But that wonderful encounter took place in March 2012
2. Briefly describe the hook-up?
I had invested about three years of really committed flirting and teasing of the guy before making the leap. It’s described in great detail in another blog entry.
3. How did you feel physically and emotionally after your last hook-up?
Physically, it was an incredible moment in my adult life. The orgasm I experienced left me weak in the knees for hours. Emotionally was more of a challenge. There was no guilt on my behalf, I had the unbelievable support and encouragement from my husband to go ahead with the encounter, so my conscience was clear. But in the days after, I still felt confused. I had an intense desire (and still do) to take the next step and push the sexual envelope a bit more, but I also had to accept that the freedom I enjoyed was not shared for my partner. For him it was very much an “affair” and he had to make some tough decisions based on reality as opposed to sexual fantasy.
4. Are you still acquainted with the person from your hook-up?
We are still friends, although I don’t hear from him as much as I would like. We no longer work together and have since taken different paths in life.
5. How often do you engage in hook-ups?
This was the one and only time … so far.
6. What do you like most about engaging in hook-ups?
Well, outside of the previously stated lack of experience, I like the idea of being able to sexually explore without an emotional commitment. There’s something to be said for the sense of freedom.
Bonus: Are you married and having hook-ups?
Um … see above. But yes, I am married – happily, lovingly married.
“Memorable sex is not necessarily amazing sex, though amazing sex is certainly memorable.”
I haven’t been the best at keeping up with the TMI Tuesday lately, but the past few months have been wild and crazy for me – and sadly not in a way that will make my answers to this week’s entry all that much more exciting.
- My first orgasm of the year.
- My first time having intercourse of the year.
- Making my husband tell me his secret fantasy about his coworker
2. What made the encounters memorable/amazing?
For questions 1 and 2, it makes more sense once you understand that in December 2013 I had a fairly serious operation that certainly changed a substantial part of what makes me a woman. Being laid up for six weeks, and then having another two added on before intercourse was allowed made for a very frustrating start to 2014. And when I felt good enough to try to coax an orgasm out with the aid of my favourite battery-operated boyfriend (external manipulation only), it was very nerve-wracking. I had already endured a major change in the quality and initiation of my orgasms after childbirth, so I was terrified of another change in my ability to have them.
It took a great deal of getting used to; and I suppose I still am 10 months later.
As for my husband’s confession … there is nothing hotter than tormenting a man, taking him to the absolute brink of the point of no return and making him share his naughtiest thoughts. My husband has a particular coworker who I have known for some time that he has a bit of an affection for. One night, fairly recently actually, I made him tell me in graphic detail about her, and what he thinks she would be like sexually. I LOVE hearing his fantasies.
3. What is memorable and amazing about you?
Oh boy … a vanity question. Um … this is what guys tell me, not so much what I believe:
First thing is my eyes. Deep, dark brown; guys always compliment me and tell me how sexy my eyes are. I’ll take it.
Third thing – and this is truly my one sliver of sexual vanity – my oral sex talents. I’ve willingly accepted that this is something I excel at, mostly because I actually took a course in how to give them. But also because it’s something that I think both the guy and myself can enjoy in the heat of the moment; and shared sexual experiences that border on amazing … it’s a given that they are good things.
BONUS: Which of the things listed below should be infectious?
d. good health
Wealth is too fickle, and has far too many interpretations. For me, c) and d) are the two things that should be infectious.
Hey there! I know not everyone could join in last Friday for my first-ever Twitter chat, so I have archived the questions for those who wanted to catch up with what people asked me, and some of the answers I gave. I think I’ll definitely do this again, probably in the fall, so that should give you lots of time to come up with some intriguing questions to throw my way.
To help add a bit of context to some of my answers – especially since Twitter only lets you use 140 characters, I’ve included some links to previous thoughts and ideas on some of the topics that came up. Hope you enjoy!
Something that never fails to turn me on? Kissing. A hot, lots of tongue, passionate kiss always hits me between the thighs
Do you have a favorite part of foreplay?
Foreplay favourite? Toughie…either the build up with oral #sex, or when a man uses his long, probing fingers in/on me
Foreplay and engaging the mind is a huge key in great sex…the imagination is your greatest sex toy @StayGoldJersey
What’s your favorite position?
Favourite position? Hands down, I am a doggystyle sex girl. Love, love, love getting it from behind and bent over.
Have you ever dated someone famous?
Famous boyfriends? Not really, although hubby’s former job was very public and he was/is somewhat well-known
If you divorced, would you consider marriage again?
Re-marry? Don’t think I would…but I’d definitely be enjoying singlehood and exploring the idea of friends with benefits
Is there anything you’d change about your looks with plastic surgery if you could afford it?
Plastic surgery? Only thing I’d consider would be having the girls done…not bigger, but put back to the way they used to be
@AndeeSC2 Please don’t let them mess with your nipples. Biggest mistake by women is to let the surgeon cut into them.
I’m doubtful I would ever have the girls done anyway…better things to invest my money in right now @StayGoldJersey
What is the kinkiest thing you have done with yourself?
Kinky self-fun? Nothing outrageous, but I have an affection for long-neck wine bottles and the vibration of a Dyson vacuum
Do you ever wake up your hubby with oral sex?
Oral sex wake up? I have in the past…not a frequent occasion; I prefer things like waking him up with a BJ to be unique
Like least about porn: the fear and reality of having to tell my children someday when the find out @pleasure_spot
What do you like most about doing amateur porn?
Like most about doing porn: the sexual discovery, the adventure and spice it has brought to my marriage (and the attention) @pleasure_spot
Was it your idea to start doing porn, or hubby’s?
Idea to start porn? My husband first brought up the idea, on a dare…I lost, pics posted, started to like the results/attention @pleasure_spot
@AndeeSC2 I never would have guessed you got into this on a dare. Did you already have exhibitionist tendencies?
@pleasure_spot I’ve always been a bit daring… and comfortable in front of the camera. Things grew from there and I kind of enjoyed it
Does your husband ever get jealous?
Does hubby get jealous? Quite the opposite, he loves showing me off and seeing the attention from my fans @pleasure_spot
Will you and hubby ever try “swinging” again?
Swinging again? He’s game. I’ll never say never, it didn’t work out for us the first time…but I still have many curiosities!
@AndeeSC2 I’ve never partook in the activity but I believe the majority of women would be more into #strange then men.
@StayGoldJersey My experience in swinging has shown me that it tends to be a woman in control atmosphere.
@AndeeSC2 Just like in the street, guys better act right or they’re going home with their hand. #truth
How encouraging is/was your hubby in your website?
Hubby and my site? He’s very much a big partner in the whole crime, and I wouldn’t do it without his support and involvement @pleasure_spot
How often do you and hubby indulge in anal sex
Anal sex? Not very often. Depending on the moment, there is sometimes a bit of play, but not penetration very much. @BIGRICHIE7
How long do you plan on being a Southern Charm?
How much longer a Charm? I have no plans to give up my site yet; enjoying the fun & spice it brings to my marriage. @BIGRICHIE7
Can I name one of my sex toys Big Richie?
Naming my sex toys: I don’t actually have nicknames for any of them other than “Oh, my god that’s huge!” LOL @BIGRICHIE7
Do you enjoy sex outside under the moonlight?
Outdoor sex at night? It’s extremely romantic and I have a few times in the past made love under the moonlight. @BIGRICHIE
Do you enjoy giving massage and tug jobs?
Handjobs isn’t something I’ve been awarded any prizes for…word is I give great oral, so I stick with that talent @StayGoldJersey
Favourite lingerie? Right now, my favourite is in my update 428 – sexy red piece from a friend, great stockings @iankeegan27_ian
What is the most public place you have had sex? Given a blowjob?
Public sex? Hmm…pressed against a hotel window overlooking the Las Vegas strip @StayGoldJersey
It was very erotic for me, knowing that if someone looked up, they would see…Vegas being Vegas 😉 @StayGoldJersey
Public blowjob? Driving on the highway is probably the most public, if you looked into the car. @StayGoldJersey
What position is the easiest for you to achieve an orgasm?
Orgasm position? I’m one of those women that needs help, so missionary with my vibrating toy or an amazing tongue @StayGoldJersey
After your first orgasm, is it easy for you to have multiple orgasms?
Multiple orgasms? Used to be easier before kids…but I’m usually good to get another one or two out with help @StayGoldJersey
Are you a loud, dirty talker during sex?
Loud and dirty? Not really…having kids had calmed the volume…but I enjoy good dirty sexy talk @iankeegan27_ian
How often do you have sex?
How often do I have sex? It varies on what life dishes out. An average would be 7-10 times per month @iankeegan27_ian
Where is your favourite place for a man to cum?
Fav place for cum? Love feeling a man deep inside me, but I also enjoy having him cum in my mouth @iankeegan27_ian
What do you like most about your body?
What do I like most about my body? My eyes always get compliments…my legs…but for porn, whatever draws fans! @iankeegan27_ian
Pantyhose? always found them uncomfy, being short, never fit…hubby introduced me to stockings, which I prefer. @silversurfera1
Never really liked them…being short means they rarely fit properly. Thigh highs and stockings produce better reactions @silversurfera1
Have you had sex with anyone other than your husband since you got married?
Since I have been married, the only thing I have done with anyone else has been #oral #askandee @iankeegan27_ian
Sex with someone else while married? Only women…no guys…but we’re not saying it’s off the table 😉 @StayGoldJersey
I say “not off the table” but the reality is, there has to be chemistry for me. Not looking for just a hookup @StayGoldJersey
Have you ever had sex with a member or fan of your site?
Slept with a fan/member? No, I’m happily married and don’t use my site as a way to hook-up. Some do, just not me. @iankeegan27_ian
Do you ever let your fans take you out?
Dating fans? I tried a “meet me” contest a couple times; didn’t really work out that well…might be geography @iankeegan27_ian
And honestly, I’m not adverse to the idea of meeting fans, but it would have to in the right setting and context @iankeegan27_ian
Guys think that because I have my website that I am easy and looking for sex…which is far from the truth @iankeegan27_ian
@silversurfera1 Some people just have a twisted idea of why some women are OK with doing porn
@AndeeSC2 @iankeegan27_ian I imagine it’s hard for people to understand the “dualism” involved with doing an adult site & your “normal” life
I think you nailed it there… and there is even “dualism” in doing a site, amateur versus professional @silversurfera1
So, setting would be public, chaperoned without question and no guarantee of anything but a friendly conversation @iankeegan27_ian
And there you, the best snippets and questions from my first #askandee Twitter chat. Hope you’ll join me again in the fall for my next one!