Monthly Archives: November 2015
I’ve noticed lately that there has been increase in the number of articles on “how often you should be having sex.” For the most part, I fall prey to the click-bait and read them … if for no other reason than they give me some fun statistics to share on my Twitter feed.
But in a more relationship-oriented perspective, I have to admit I also find these articles concerning. Should we be placing a frequency measure on our sex lives? Or should we be paying more attention to creating better opportunities for intimacy to occur.
As competitive as I am, when it comes to introducing a scorecard for getting laid, I have to admit it kind of puts a little cheapness on the moment. Don’t be confused – I still like getting laid for the sake of getting laid, but I’m also a bit more romantic than just physical. And when you are in an established relationship, there’s the issue of maintaining a closeness and connectivity. The opportunity for a quick anonymous hook-up isn’t an option – or, at least, shouldn’t really be.
I’m also a realist, though. I fully recognize sometimes life becomes such a whirlwind of demands that nothing short of pulling out the planner and scheduling a little canoodling is going to work. Will I add it to my routine? No, because then the sex becomes no more of an act than, say, getting groceries. Which may lead to lingering in the English cucumber section a little too long.
If other couples manage to find the time to get busy three times per month or three times per day, is it really healthy for me to draw comparisons to them? The “average couple” doesn’t exactly live my life – nor try to balance my schedule as a career woman, wife and mother. On top of that, I’ve said numerous times in my blog that I don’t want to be “average.” I might not have sex as often as some study suggests, but I’m pretty sure the sex I’m having when I do have it is beyond “average.”
I have always tried to temper my online life/persona against the thoughts that go on in my mind as the woman behind “Andee.” After almost 14 years of bringing that part of my personality to the surface, she is part of a much bigger me, a deeper me.
Sometimes the separation is very easy – because there’s a whole lot of what you guys see and read that is very much part of the “blurred lines” that cross between reality and Internet. “Andee” represents all the exciting, erotic and brave elements of my mind. She’s the woman who takes risks, pushes the limits and walks the fine line. Occasionally it goes the other way, and “Andee” finds her way into my life offline. She helps the shy, career-focused, family-oriented girl from a small town step outside of her comfort zone.
And then other days, being “Andee” can be a venture in frustration and animosity.
One of the biggest challenges – and I know I’m not alone in this – is trying to politely reiterate that just because I have an adult website, and an adult-themed blog, and enjoy my adult life to its fullest DOES NOT mean that I am available for hire, an escort, a porn actress, a potential girlfriend or hook-up for the night.
I’m a woman who uses the Internet, and the opportunity to dabble in some sexual exhibitionism. I’m here for some pretty simple entertainment – for you and for me. And I know that it can be a huge leap to believe that this concept is about as honest as it gets. It’s a struggle to understand that a woman who indulges in these fantasies isn’t a working girl with a price tag and travel account.
Of course, I accept this judgement as something that comes with the territory – I’d be very naive to think that putting myself out there in the manner I do wouldn’t attract a certain perception, but it’s perplexing nonetheless. More so when I get the requests from movie houses/producers/agents (using a ‘free’ Internet email system, as opposed to a proper business one) and guys hoping to “break into the business.” I’m not sure how a married woman with very limited history of ‘random’ porn stars in her content is going to help someone break into the porn industry – especially when it’s pretty obvious with a little research that she’s thousands of miles away from the heart of it all.
It’s still a struggle for me some days to understand what makes a man think just because I happen to be out there with some of my sexual thoughts and interests that I am available for random sex.
Alas, nothing more than a simple rant.