Monthly Archives: September 2011

Sex | What’s On The Menu?

My husband and I were talking last night about some ideas for blogging and I pressed him a bit about the idea of how certain smells take my mind to sexual moments. We have never been one of those couples to incorporate food into our sex life, other than to make sexual innuendo comments about the English cucumber in the produce aisle; which is even funnier when they are sealed in vacuum-wrap plastic. Who knew cucumbers practiced safe sex?

I’m not suggesting that I want my own personal 9 1/2 Weeks scene … you know, where Kim Basinger and Mickey Rourke get really raunchy in the light of the refrigerator … but there are many ways to connect the aphrodisiac qualities of certain foods to an awesome experience in the kitchen.

A bit reason behind this is that my hubby has never been one to find food all that sexually stimulating. He says the idea of slathering on some sort of whipped cream bikini is delightfully humorous, but doesn’t exactly send him over the moon.

So, I think we’re at a bit of a crossroads with one idea for sexual experimentation.

Alcohol is something completely different…especially if you get one of those wine bottles with a really long neck. Now that sends the imagination into an erotic whirlwind.

The closest we typically get to food in our sex life if flavoured lube.

And so these days, the smell of blueberries always makes me smile…

Andee     xoxo
 
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Sexuality | Exploiting Erotic Capital

Found this quite interesting, given that I have a thing for both high heels and the idea of how human sexuality plays out in our society. It’s from Macleans Magazine here in Canada…
“The British sociologist Catherine Hakim is no academic wallflower. More than a decade ago, her “preference” theory positing that personal choices, not gender discrimination, governed women’s involvement and advancement in the labour market, won praise, sneers and influenced social policy. Now she’s back tweaking nipples with her new book, Honey Money: The Power of Erotic Capital, which argues that “erotic capital” can be as professionally useful as a university degree, that women have been conditioned not to exploit their attractiveness for economic benefit.”
I have long believed that both sexes can use the idea of “erotic capital” to advance their careers; and not just something like the infamous Hollywood “casting couch.” I think we all see in our work environments’ that there exists a certain element of “lookism;” where attractiveness results in an unbalanced level of pay. It’s been researched and reviewed that tall men are often the highest paid, whereas overweight women paid the least.
Hakim suggests that erotic capital matters beyond the sexual field, and beyond private relationships. She has shown that erotic capital is important in the media, politics, advertising, sports, the arts, and in everyday social interaction, and includes:
  • Beauty
  • Sexual attractiveness
  • Social attractiveness
  • Vivaciousness
  • Presentation
  • Sexuality
  • Fertility
Hakim’s theory of erotic capital argues that erotic capital is a valuable fourth personal asset, alongside economic capital, cultural/human capital and social capital; that erotic capital is increasingly important in affluent modern societies; and that women generally have more erotic capital than men because they work harder at it.
Now, I happen to work in an environment where such concepts have been all but eliminated due to a rather aggressive union and influx of diversity programs meant to enforce a level of equality…but let’s not go there.
One key in what the author is saying is that “erotic capital” does not equate to “acting like a bimbo.” Rather, the idea is based on women using their assets, so to speak, to advance their careers in ways men have been doing for some time. And while Hollywood is the most obvious of examples, politics and business are equal partners where the idea of a “beauty premium” exists. 
Don’t agree? The highest paid members of Sarah Palin’s campaign staff included her make-up artist.
As the researchers have pointed out, we live in a society today where “capital” is the most desired element…and sex sells.
Which brings me to another point…
Andee     xoxo
 

Sneak Peek at My Sexy New Update

Good morning guys! Here’s a little sneak peek at my latest update, which went live today on my website!

I know a lot of you have this thing for stockings are garters, and lately I have certainly been enjoying learning all about those naughty little thoughts. Now that I can see just what the excitement is all about, I think you will be enjoying this look quite a bit more on me!

I’m also working away madly at my newest project for you, which I will hopefully get posted in a little while. I mentioned before about something special for the Fall, and after some careful consideration and a great deal of masturbation, settled on taking you a deeper into my fantasies.

Stick around to see just what things pop into my mind when I need a little sexual distraction…and feel free to share yours with me too!

Andee     xoxo

Desire | Trapped In My Comfort Zone

One of the things I find myself needing to do a bit more is stepping out of my comfort zone. Lately I have been thinking about where my sexual adventure has been going, and while I have made great leaps this past year, I find that there is still so much more I want.

Most recently I have challenged my own fears just a bit with, as you have read, letting someone I know and see in my offline life into my online life. Beyond family and a few very close friends, this was the first time I had done that … and I found it exceptionally exciting, exhilarating and frightening all at once.

But I guess that is a good thing though. It helped me recognize that there is a huge desire within me to explore even bigger ideas, fantasies and experiences. And desire, whether it is just a thought in the back of my mind or an obvious out-there-for-everyone-to-see quality, is a healthy emotion.

Some people may suggest that it can be a dangerous thing, and I would have to agree to a certain point. For me, these explorations teeter on the edge of what may be a healthy relationship and an outright twist to the left of sexual perversion.

Well, maybe not quite that extreme … I know my fantasies and desires are shared by many, and relatively safe in a physical sense.

But without a sense of desire, where do our relationships sit? Even though I have been with the same person for over 20 years now, there is still a huge element of desire in our sexual explorations together. As we grow even more intimate (yes, that is possible even after 20 years), the boundaries expand, the intrigue grows and fantasies flourish. And, as we all know, it is that sense of desire that leads us to a whole world of experience – and not just in the bedroom.

What seems to counter that is the dreaded comfort zone I mentioned.

Andee     xoxo

Video Blog | Edgy & Spicy or Interesting

Hey there guys, here’s another little bit of me talking about relationships. This time I touching on keeping a marriage interesting, and why that is important if you hope to have a successful – and adventurous – experience together.

And, don’t forget that I put together a FREE read about how to get your partner to rock your world. It’s an eBook looking at some of things I found invaluable in getting my own relationship on the path of some incredible sexual adventures. Just click on the cover, at the top right of my blog home page.

And just because it’s Tuesday, there is also another hot and sexy Topless Tuesday post. Only a couple more weeks left in that summertime distraction … any ideas what you would like to see for the 13 weeks of Fall?

Andee     xoxo
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