Category Archives: MILF

The Modern Fantasy Woman

“In the past, a fantasy woman may have been the young, single secretary; now she’s the middle-aged mother of three with a graduate degree.”

Naturally, I’m all for this … being a married mother of two with sound post-secondary education, a career and a penchant for getting naked on the Internet.

I’m sure there are many people out there who still have lustful fantasies about the young, single secretary; and there’s nothing wrong with that. But I do believe that the reality of a “fantasy woman” has evolved in our culture, which made it easier for me to come to terms with a lot of what I do. It has also educated me on the amazing span of what men (and women) find attractive.

In a way, you can thank the American Pie franchise for underscoring the pop culture awareness evolution of sexual attraction to women who would never stand the chance of gracing the pages of Playboy. And while the movies edged the term “MILF” into modern language, they also – perhaps in an unintended way – validated the reality many of us already knew: you can be sexy and desirable after 30…and 40…and 50…and…

Combined with the ease of immersing ourselves into a sexual world on the Internet – and the freedom it allows us for expressing our sexual side, it’s no wonder that the stereotype of the buxom young thing in a miniskirt has evolved. The Internet brings a realness to our fantasies – men can now access thousands of sexually explicit options instead of the limited naughtiness the pre-Internet culture had. In past it was dirty magazines under the mattress featuring Hugh Hefner’s version of the girl-next-door; today, if you’re lucky, you can literally see the girl-next-door online.

More of us – the women you see at the grocery store, the hockey rink/soccer field, chaperoning school field trips – are somehow “allowed” to be part of the bigger male fantasy these days. We bring something different than the airbrushed magazine porn many guys grew up with.

And frankly, there are a lot of us who relish that opportunity; that want to help take the male fantasy into a more realistic direction. Although even after 12 years of trying to create that fantasy for many of you I still feel awkward about it, there’s a big part of me that takes delight in knowing some of you find me desirable in that way. I set out to be a small part of my husband’s fantasy, and gained a legion of like-minded men that make it easy for me to continue those pursuits online.

It took me a while to learn how to embrace my sexuality – from both a personal and public aspect. It’s always comforting to know it appreciated.

Andee     xoxo

Sexy Northern Angel

Advertisements

Time For Some Sexy New Shoes

Do you ever have one of those weekends where every possible event happens on the same day? It’s almost as if my life just isn’t busy enough these days … Good lord, I never thought a woman in her so-called “prime” would get so tired.

Apart from an invite to play hockey (long story), take my Little Man to an out-of-town baseball tournament (thank heaven for carpool favours) and a few others, my little appointment book is bursting at the seams.

Despite all the options, I have one major event that I will not miss – the wedding of one of my friends from work. I love weddings, and especially the opportunity to get all dressed up. Most of my life is spent in work clothes, or slothing around the house in something comfy. I know that comes as quite a shocker – given all the naughty lingerie you see me wearing on my website. So when I get the chance to dress up (quite a bit more now for work or to party), I like to go all out. But I think you have also managed to see that side of me too!

There’s going to be some serious “glam” at this wedding, and I’ll have no worries about really putting it on for a change. Plus this weekend is also supposed to bring some nice weather, which means I am going for the sexy new LBD and stiletto heels look. Heck, I might even paint my nails!

Wearing sexy shoes remains one of life’s big challenges for me. Because I work in an environment that has some strict rules about footwear, finding heels that comply is difficult … not to mention finding heels I can stand to wear for a full day of marathonesque running. It’s a bigger challenge for my husband for his fashion sense. He openly admits to be a shoe-slut, and quietly endures my more sensible Monday-Friday choices.

This time around though, I found a great pair of heels to go with my new dress. So in honour of a sexy stiletto Saturday, I found this little bit on the Internet about why high heels are the sexiest shoes:

The stuff you strut is more sensual when you’re up on your toes, says Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes author Jena Pincott: “Heels force your pelvis to tilt so that both your rear end and chest stick out.” One study showed that leg lengths 5 per cent longer than average are the most attractive, so for most women, a 1.5- to 3-inch heel would create the ideal leg length.

“This attraction might be evolutionary, because long legs are associated with better long-term health, which would appeal to a mate. Plus, much like a peacock flaunts his feathers, which are really quite heavy and a nuisance, a woman teetering in heels can show off her fitness and coordination.”

If I had to pick one body part that I could say I was confident over, it would be my legs (not trying to be vain here guys, just sharing what some of you seem to suggest to me …). I think if I was able to be more stylish on an everyday basis, maybe I’d play it up a bit more and show them off. You know, draw the attention down and away from other bits I’m not so OK with right now.

But a sexy set of stilettos also means a little prep work.

When Marilyn Monroe had her stilettos made uneven heights to accentuate her hip-wiggle, she understood the power of high heels. Ridiculous, to be sure, but her point might have been this: If you’re going to wear heels, wear them well.

  1. Posture is critical. Keep your spine upright and slightly arched, and shoulders back to avoid hunching over.
  2. Start with one foot coming out at a slight outward angle, striking with the heel first. As you walk, continue the heel-toe step.
  3. Minding your posture – imagine there’s a string in your head, pulling you up – use your arms and hips to change the centre of rotation in your body. As your hips rotate one way, your shoulders should angle slightly the other way for balance.
  4. Shorten your stride. It’s easy to spot someone unaccustomed to heels by her klumping, bouncing footfall and hunched back.
  5. Loosen up. It’s all in the hips. If they’re too stiff, your gait will be off and you’ll end up off-balance.
  6. Start with shorter heels and wear them around the house, especially if they’re new. Walking over a variety of surfaces like carpet and tile will help too.
  7. Carry bandages in your purse at all times.

Anyway … done properly, that power of the high heel will translate into wobbly knees later on – and that has nothing to do with the actual heel!

So, time to trade in the sensible sneakers for a little glam … I can’t wait!

Andee     xoxo 

Website | I’m Not Ashley Madison

Well, I’m supposed to be researching the latest data on drug interactions … but since there’s no one else in our library right now, I’m taking advantage of the privacy to check in on my latest obsession!

Anyway …
It was kind of an interesting conversation last night. One of the gentleman I chat with every now and then professed to know everything there was to know about men, and offered to answer any question posed… seemed easy enough, and as you know, I am always up for a lively debate and a good challenge when it comes to me and guys.

I asked this friend, why do men seem to think – despite me being happily married and clearly indicating that in just about every part of my website (including the wedding ring in the photos) – that my website is a dating site? His response, while wise and intriguing, left me without a really deep sense of knowing. My friend explained that regardless of a woman’s marital status, men were in constant pursuit of sex. Marriage simply meant an opportunity to obtain sex without commitment. Now, don’t take my paraphrasing as an insult, because I did not take his answer that way.

A membership was an invitation to sex. A photo was an invitation to sex. Pleasant chat about the weather or nuclear physics was an invitation to sex.
So there I sat, pondering the answer … amused and thoroughly intrigued further about this revelation from a member of the male species.
I needed to know more, so I cornered the testosterone within my own household … under the guise of something more enticing than simply “How’s your day honey?” and extracted an answer. Of course, knowing full well that there are certain ways to make a man tell the total truth – even where Grandma hid her money if need be – I employed nothing but the best of strategies. (Sometimes the ‘oral’ part of interrogation doesn’t involve sentences)
The answer, he told me in sheer erectional confession, can be found quite readily in a routine by a famous southern comedian – Jeff Foxworthy. That’s right, folks … hard to believe, but not so hard to believe.
Apparently, and open for debate, men have two things on their mind at anyone time:
“I want a beer, and I want to see something nekkid …”
So, the secret may be out … as to me, dating invitations aside, tonight I’m going to learn where Grandma hid her money!
Have an awesome day … Catch up with me on Twitter if you like.

Andee     xoxo

The Word To Bring Down A Man

I’m starting to think that the Cosmo girls are bitter bitches with way too much of a wannabe Carrie Bradshaw complex. It seems that for every little wrong that some famous, or now infamous, guy does they are there ready to burn him, and the whole act of what he did, at the stake.

Take, for example, this political Weiner dog in the United States. I don’t condone his actions, but mostly for reasons that may not sit well with the Cosmo girls.

I don’t like what he did because he hid these things from his wife.

That isn’t to say I condone his actions. Given his public profession, it wasn’t very smart of him to take photos of his manhood and then send them out to some online friend. Goodness, did none of these guys learn anything from Bill Clinton? Now then, the twist in all of this is that his lack of communication and connection with his (pregnant) wife underscores deeper issues in the relationship. When you begin to hide these kind of sexual secrets from your spouse, you go down a very precarious path.

I’ve been known on occasion or two to challenge societal mores by engaging in naughty chats, e-mails and such … heck, I have over 20,000 naughty photos online. I do that because of the thrill, excitement and ego-boost that it brings to me and the spice to my marriage. But I am not saying that married guys should be sending photos of their junk to every online floozy that logs in, just that the actions that lead men and women into these situations are a little more complicated than a Cosmo column.

I don’t like what he did because he fell for the ‘trap’ of a younger woman.

The people at Cosmo also added a great little piece on “The Word That Make Him Cheat.” Hmm, so if I say this word I can get guys running every which way? Somehow I doubt that guys are that fickle. But then, I have been surprised by some of you before.

Apparently the big Weiner fell for that most-potent word: “Hot!” Not as in: “Gee, it was hot outside today.” No, he fell right into the trap when some young thing stroked his Facebook with the “H” word referring to a speech he had recently given.

So dangerous is this word that it apparently is the same one that brought down John Edwards.

According to the expert cited by the bitter bitches, men crave to have their insecure bedroom ego stroked more than playful poodle begging for a belly rub. In surveys, apparently you guys have said that you want to hear the same things that really “H” women do on a regular basis. Another source explained a more logical reason for these examples – both of these men are extremely narcissistic and rocking the panties off some college girl from Texas fuelled that ego.

By the way, I think it’s HOT when you buy a membership to my website

Fortunately in Canada we are able to prevent political downfall because the only time the “H” word should be used with our oft-unattractive politicians is when someone calls for more logs to be thrown on the fire because the flames around the stake are not “H” enough.

Oh, don’t judge me … have you seen the men on our money?

I don’t like what he did because he cried about it when he got caught – and did not come across as even close to sincere.

I’m actually not one to follow politics, or even political scandals. But when I see a guy in front of the cameras bubbling like a 6-year-old in the park I am more likely to wonder who the heck pulled one of his nose hairs out. I don’t buy it…if you’re man enough to IM photos of your Oscar Meyer, then you better be man enough to get grilled. (Don’t you love my hot dog analogy!)

Real Men

But what really stirred my ranting was how Cosmo turns this – and previous examples – into story and advice column drivel bashing all guys. They set their readers up with ideas on how we, as obviously weak-minded women, should never let our guard down around men. Never trust a single one. Yet, never mind that for every one of these Weiners there are hundreds of great guys out there; guys who know how to have fun with their spouse and live life without hang-ups and hidden agendas.

Ok, maybe each relationship has a secret or two, but as humans it’s our nature to hold some potentially embarrassing things – things we think we may be judged on – close to our chest. Heck, the whole game of poker is built on that very idea (and you will want to stop by for my Sexy Sunday this week where I share some poker fantasies). But it reminds me of how we need to work harder at opening the doors of communication between each other in a relationship than we do at opening naughty e-mails from coeds.

And it’s easy for me to say that because my website has pretty much killed any chance of me finding success in politics. Thank goodness because I was struggling with whether or not I should be Prime Minister or amateur porn star.

Judging from the naughty e-mails I get, I think I made the right choice.

Oh, and for the record … rarely watched the show, and Carrie Bradshaw is a fictional character.

Andee     xoxo

Flirting | We Make Mistakes Too

I was chatting with one of my friends about the Mistakes Men Make blog and he suggested that if I was going to keep things fair that I should look at something about women’s mistakes and dating. Because apparently – and I have to to see the research – women are not perfect.

Well, I am definitely no dating expert. I’ve found that being married has really put a damper on my dating life, but I did find this article in a trashy women’s magazine about the mistakes we make when flirting.

Even so, while I am happily married, I am an admitted “shameless flirt” as you know. Now I just need to figure out which of these mistakes I make … 

Talking about yourself
We understand the feeling that if we talk about ourselves, he’ll see how interesting we are and how confident we are in ourselves. However, while talking is great, don’t appear too self-centered or boasting. Ask some questions about him, and be sure he can get a word in, too.
(Nah, that’s what my blog is for…and I share more than a lot on here!)

Letting him do all the talking
You want to play the woman with the great ear, but don’t fawn over him and his words. Be active in the conversation; share your thoughts and talk about yourself too, as he surely wants to know as much about you as you do of him.
(I can be kind of the shy one at first. I know, hard to believe. So I am guilty of letting the guy do a healthy dose of the initial flirtations…and after a drink or six, I really loosen up. Which generally leads to trouble!)

Being too obvious
There’s something called subtlety; use it. Don’t manically touch your hair every time he touches his, for example, and don’t lean over too much for him to get a good look at “the girls.” A light touch here, and a dazzling smile there are all you need to get him hook, line, and sinker.
(Hmm…not sure where my thoughts are on this. I, for one, employ the “lean in” strategy – as I blogged about yesterday – as a method of flirting. Sometimes “the girls” are a key part of that. But then again, maybe that’s a touch of age…you know, not really all that concerned anymore so if he enjoys seeing “the girls“ why not?)

Acting fake
There’s the forced plastered the smile, the excessive laughing at all his jokes (even the lame ones)… need we go on? Make sure you are genuine and remain true to yourself, and he will be taken. Also, if you feel a need to put on a fake smile when talking to a guy, that’s not exactly a good sign.
(I think I might be saving this one for when I get my fake boobs!)

Sticking to your group
A lot of times, women gather strength by heading off to a bar or club with friends, and that is more than okay. However, you do need to break away from the group once in a while. A guy may be afraid to swoop in when you’re with your friends, so be sure to circulate the room on your own every once in a while, or even frequent your favourite hangout by yourself sometime.
(Sometimes a group can be a lot of fun…if everyone is naked. But, I do admit that once I am feeling good and loosened up a bit, I tend to break out of this and mingle.)

Ignoring him
We’ve been doing it since we were in high school: pretend you don’t like him, and he’ll be putty in your hands. But if you don’t look at him, hardly acknowledge him, then how do you expect to be on his radar? Make sure you grab his attention, even by doing something as small as catching his eyes, smiling lightly, and turning away.
(Don’t think this is a problem for me … I’m usually too horny to ignore the cute ones!)

Flirting with other men in front of him
You may feel that by flirting with the many men in the room, the one you’re actually interested in will see how irresistible you are. Wrong! In actual fact, this will make you unapproachable, as it will make him think that you are interested in everyone but him.
(So, for me this is an odd and tough one. My husband enjoys that flirtatious element in me…but then again, we have been together for over 20 years now and have reached that stage in our relationship where his twisted perversions can come out – ie, the summer flirting contest)

Drinking excessively
When at a bar and chatting it up with a guy, some of us may believe that a little “liquid courage” will go a long way. Don’t underestimate the power of alcohol and the effect it may have on your behaviour. You need to be aware of your words and actions, so don’t consume too much booze.
(Ok, I have been known to do this on rare occasions…and trust me, it always leads to trouble!)

So it seems I may be guilty of a few of these things…but then flirting is meant to be a game and guys aren’t really supposed to know the rules we play by. Mistakes? Probably that we change the rules to suit our mood and situation.

Andee     xoxo
 
%d bloggers like this: