Monthly Archives: December 2014
Just before Christmas I posed a question on my Twitter feed that had been something brewing in both my mind and in numerous naughty conversations over the past year. I was looking for some insight on what others thought “Why would one want to watch his wife having sex with another man?”
In my household the answer tends to be … one-sided. By that I mean, when my husband answers the question, his response is typically focused to providing me with the opportunity to fulfill a fantasy, for me to experience a new lover, for me to be free from guilt or a need to hide those desires over a new sexual partner. I don’t ever get the depth of what it means to him, or the motivation as to why he would find watching me have sex with another man to be a mind-blowing experience specifically for him.
I know why … I just don’t hear why.
The thing is, in my marriage, communication is very open. My husband has never shied away – or been afraid – to express his thoughts, such as watching me with another man. Hell, he’s provided me with the opportunity to explore, and we’ve dabbled in the whole swinging thing. But the one constant in the conversations about it has always been about my pleasure, my desires and my experience.
My question on Twitter didn’t prove to be widely enlightening on the male psyche either. The answers I got back tended to balance between because a husband wants to allow his wife to explore sexually and because a husband is looking for the reciprocal opportunity to have sex with another woman with permission.
Men seem to struggle with their own personal admission that they find the idea of “cuckolding” to be intriguing. It’s a word – and a concept – that goes beyond the erotic and hints at an individual’s weakness; that he may be perceived to be less of a man by allowing his wife to explore sexually with another. I can understand how, in this modern age of he-men/alpha dogs, that societal and peer group judgement might prevent a man from being so open-minded.
There’s a lot of science out there that explains the concept of cuckolding and “sperm competition.” And from that, if you take the time to digest what the sexual psychologists are saying, it boils down to human – masculine – instinct. It reflects back to the belief that humans are not meant to be monogamous; and how we rebuff nature to act as though we are.
All gather in a seemingly perfect storm of sexual repression.
With the weather turning remarkably colder in these parts, my sleeping habits – or night time fashion – usually changes. And much to the chagrin of my loving (and patient) husband, not for the better. As much as you want to think how wonderful it would be to lie around in a tropical bedroom Shangri La, it’s not realistic.
But here’s a fun infographic I found about sleepwear:
I’ve always had this strange fascination with the idea of a “sex doll.” Not so much in terms of sexual intrigue, but a mixture of bewilderment and disbelief that people would find them remotely erotic. That said, it seems that the evolution of the modern sex doll has taken them away from the bizarre “pool floatie” type construction to something more … um … realistic(?).
Anyway, found this fun infographic I just had to share…