Category Archives: heels
This is probably one topic that could keep going around and around as I get deeper and deeper into my sexual adventure. And while it has been a marvelous 10 years of exploring, gradually experimenting and experiencing new things, I am continually amazed at both what I learn from other people in terms of fetishes, and how my own kinks and sexual quirks seemingly evolve along the way.
I can’t say that any of mine border even close to some of those truly outrageous requests I have gotten through my website and videos over the past decade … some of which still leave me scratching my head. I think mine are relatively tame and yet still sexy enough to be intriguing and maybe a bit unusual among my offline circle of friends. Naturally, I am making a bit of an assumption there, as I don’t really know what goes on behind their bedroom doors.
So when this Formspring question made an appearance, I thought “I have an answer to that!”
Quite a while back I wrote about how I was learning to really understand what it is men like about women in stockings. For photographic reasons, I was quite comfortable with wearing them, along with the more modern version, thigh highs. But other than my wedding day, and a few steamy date nights, I had not really explored the idea of wearing hosiery as such, as part of my office attire.
And while it is something that always proves to be a worthwhile fashion choice – given the reactions it produces at home and at work – like all good fetishes, moderation is the key in keeping it exciting and erotic each time. I think if I wore them everyday, or at least every time I dressed up for work or a date, it may get a little too expected. Part of why it is a favourite fetish is the reaction of the guys, not just the ideas in my own mind.
I have definitely come to appreciate the sideways glances, and occasional downright stare, that I get from the guys I work with. Unlike some women who might see that as a precursor to sexual harassment, I’m thrilled – and somewhat turned on – but the knowledge that they consider me worthy of their lusty looks. I certainly can’t complain when the whole idea is very much planned and expected on my behalf.
I think that is a big part of why I see it as being different from being “objectified.” I set out with a teasing, flirting scheme in mind … trying to be coy on my own to catch the men around me sneaking a peek. And if our eyes happen to meet, I try to give them a knowing little look that says I’m thrilled they noticed and flattered.
And even though the guys may never know if there is a garter belt holding those stockings up, or if I’m jammed into some tortuous control tops, I can’t say I get the same personal feelings from pantyhose … they are just something that I could never feel comfortable in. But stockings, and the occasional romp in thigh highs, make me feel sexy and attractive.
That’s why right now, they are among my favourite fetishes. And, if you really like to see how it plays out, don’t miss my latest update … it’s exactly what this blog is all about!
Without question, I have it pretty damn good with where I am at in my marriage right now. I have a lot of freedom to not just explore some of my sexual desires, but to openly share and discuss what goes on with my imagination and fantasies. I’m not living vicariously like a lot of people I know – people that resent their spouses and marriages for the trapped feeling they seem to endure rather than putting the effort in to make a change.
And I recognize that on here, based on the community I have kind of slid into with my blog, I am exposed to a lot of sex-positive people, couples with open marriages and wild fantasies. We’re open to share, comment, and pontificate. The same can’t be said for my real life, where I have to watch what I say and how much information I can divulge to those around me – even to some of my closest friends and family members.
But I think the amount of support, encouragement and freedom I enjoy in my sexual adventure is both a blessing and a burden. It leaves me having to explain to jealous coworkers and friends that they also have the opportunity to challenge their imaginations if they work to make it happen.
Sadly, most of them still harbour the belief that “marriage” does not fit into “adventure” and “excitement” is something “we just don’t do.”
Recently, after I had opened up about some of the more socially-acceptable experiences I have been able to enjoy with my lusting husband, my friend scoffed about her own situation – how she was beginning to get a feeling of hatred towards her spouse – and although I feel for her, some of my sympathy faded because it was evident that she felt no responsibility to correct her own problems.
I found myself asking, as I listened to her: “What is the one thing you could do today to make your sex life better?”
For me, simple: invest in more short skirts and sexy dresses to wear to work.
If you have followed along and gotten to know me, you’ll know that for the most part I’m kind of a science geek. I work in a pretty conservative and sterile environment, and it can be pretty easy to fade into the background and plod along. But, it seems I married a man who enjoys building my self-esteem and self-image up, and has worked to bring about a real metamorphosis within me.
A big part of that, outside of the emotional rewards, has been his encouragement for me to be someone who stands out and looks, in his words, drool-worthy – especially at work. And it wasn’t even about expressing my sexuality as a woman, as much as it was about adding to the overall “package.” I’m proud of being a very qualified and professional individual at my work – which has earned me a good deal of respect from my superiors. My husband’s thinking was taking what I had earned and going a little further by appearing the same way – dressing for success, so to speak.
I won’t even try to hide the fact that he did have ulterior motives – he doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he loves it when I wear heels and dresses or skirts. But, at the same time, style doesn’t need to be slutty; and dressing for success can be equal to dressing for sex if you do it right.
Naturally it took me a while to reach a comfort level with being pretty much the only one in my department that wore heels, stylish dresses and skirts. But the reactions from people around me soon became a bit of an addiction. I think everyone appreciates a compliment, but it turned me on to catch some of the men I work with taking notice of what I was wearing. It didn’t take long for that kind of attention to turn into a real aphrodisiac for me.
So, each time I push the fashion envelope at work, it seems to benefit me sexually.
I can’t say that what works in my life is going to work for anyone else, but I do know when I start to feel a little down, or not as attractive as I would like, my solution is to focus on changing the mood around me first. Once you begin to see the change in how people treat you, and can find comfort in knowing that some of it is based on sexuality, you might be amazed at how much more enjoyable getting up and going to work can be.
There will be many who think that opening yourself up, as a woman, to the attention of men in the workplace equates “sexual harassment.” In some cases they may be right … but in other situations, it’s also a case of “get over yourself and enjoy the fact you can still catch their eye.”
Do you ever have one of those weekends where every possible event happens on the same day? It’s almost as if my life just isn’t busy enough these days … Good lord, I never thought a woman in her so-called “prime” would get so tired.
Apart from an invite to play hockey (long story), take my Little Man to an out-of-town baseball tournament (thank heaven for carpool favours) and a few others, my little appointment book is bursting at the seams.
Despite all the options, I have one major event that I will not miss – the wedding of one of my friends from work. I love weddings, and especially the opportunity to get all dressed up. Most of my life is spent in work clothes, or slothing around the house in something comfy. I know that comes as quite a shocker – given all the naughty lingerie you see me wearing on my website. So when I get the chance to dress up (quite a bit more now for work or to party), I like to go all out. But I think you have also managed to see that side of me too!
There’s going to be some serious “glam” at this wedding, and I’ll have no worries about really putting it on for a change. Plus this weekend is also supposed to bring some nice weather, which means I am going for the sexy new LBD and stiletto heels look. Heck, I might even paint my nails!
Wearing sexy shoes remains one of life’s big challenges for me. Because I work in an environment that has some strict rules about footwear, finding heels that comply is difficult … not to mention finding heels I can stand to wear for a full day of marathonesque running. It’s a bigger challenge for my husband for his fashion sense. He openly admits to be a shoe-slut, and quietly endures my more sensible Monday-Friday choices.
This time around though, I found a great pair of heels to go with my new dress. So in honour of a sexy stiletto Saturday, I found this little bit on the Internet about why high heels are the sexiest shoes:
The stuff you strut is more sensual when you’re up on your toes, says Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes author Jena Pincott: “Heels force your pelvis to tilt so that both your rear end and chest stick out.” One study showed that leg lengths 5 per cent longer than average are the most attractive, so for most women, a 1.5- to 3-inch heel would create the ideal leg length.
“This attraction might be evolutionary, because long legs are associated with better long-term health, which would appeal to a mate. Plus, much like a peacock flaunts his feathers, which are really quite heavy and a nuisance, a woman teetering in heels can show off her fitness and coordination.”
If I had to pick one body part that I could say I was confident over, it would be my legs (not trying to be vain here guys, just sharing what some of you seem to suggest to me …). I think if I was able to be more stylish on an everyday basis, maybe I’d play it up a bit more and show them off. You know, draw the attention down and away from other bits I’m not so OK with right now.
But a sexy set of stilettos also means a little prep work.
When Marilyn Monroe had her stilettos made uneven heights to accentuate her hip-wiggle, she understood the power of high heels. Ridiculous, to be sure, but her point might have been this: If you’re going to wear heels, wear them well.
- Posture is critical. Keep your spine upright and slightly arched, and shoulders back to avoid hunching over.
- Start with one foot coming out at a slight outward angle, striking with the heel first. As you walk, continue the heel-toe step.
- Minding your posture – imagine there’s a string in your head, pulling you up – use your arms and hips to change the centre of rotation in your body. As your hips rotate one way, your shoulders should angle slightly the other way for balance.
- Shorten your stride. It’s easy to spot someone unaccustomed to heels by her klumping, bouncing footfall and hunched back.
- Loosen up. It’s all in the hips. If they’re too stiff, your gait will be off and you’ll end up off-balance.
- Start with shorter heels and wear them around the house, especially if they’re new. Walking over a variety of surfaces like carpet and tile will help too.
- Carry bandages in your purse at all times.
Anyway … done properly, that power of the high heel will translate into wobbly knees later on – and that has nothing to do with the actual heel!
So, time to trade in the sensible sneakers for a little glam … I can’t wait!
I’m not too sure about you guys, but around here right now there are a few funny commercials on TV for Klondike ice cream bars. And we all know the catch phrase of the delicious frozen treat is “What would you do for a Klondike bar?”
The other day when I was chatting with a friend, we were laughing about a scene in one of the commercials where the “wife” is glancing at the wiggling booty of one of the dancing girls that shows up in the commercial – and then he asked what I would do for a Klondike bar. I might occasionally come across as the shy, quiet naïve one – but as you have seen here, that is just a very good cover for my real personality … especially when you start talking about the frozen goodness of chocolate and ice cream.
For a long time I have wanted to experiment with introducing some fun food items into my sex life. I’m not talking about condom-wrapped cucumbers here, but something intriguing like a little melting ice cream or sundae chocolate sauce.
I think the best thing to do with the Klondike bar, would be to make my lover sit on a kitchen chair, naked. Then I would begin a long, drawn out seductive demonstration of how much fun eating ice cream can be … and that if you take your time, it melts. Of course, it would melt all over me … and I would make sure some of it dripped onto the appropriate spots on my lover’s body as well. I would make him lick the little dribbles from my naked breasts, and where the ice cream also dribbled onto the inside of my thigh – ever so close, but not exactly there.
Once he had his taste off of me, I would then begin to lick all the dribbles off of his body. Naturally, I would have made sure that most of the melting ice cream would drip onto his lap … and hopefully his erect penis.
I wonder how he would react to the sensation of my cold tongue tracing along the little ice cream trail … and how he would react to me taking his hot cock into my ice cream-chilled mouth. I’ve heard tell that it is an unbelievable sensation for men. Then, knowing how much he can’t resist my oral talents, I would get a little salty treat to go with my ice cream.
Now, this is what I would do with a Klondike bar … what I would do for a Klondike bar wouldn’t be all that much different. I would just need to consult his expert opinion as I carefully picked out all the necessary ingredients that go into making one, such as the chocolate coating that needs to be spread all over the treat. With the intention of being eaten …very slowly and with a lot of tongue.
I didn’t exactly go into that much detail with my friend, but I think he got the idea that I might be willing to do something very naughty. Everyone has their price … mine just might include chocolate and ice cream.
Is it something you are growing tired of hearing about?
As you know, over the past couple months I have acquired a whole new appreciation for the very “old-fashioned” fashion of stockings and garters. I understand that when it comes to edgy style, this idea may not rank quite that high, but I am fascinated by how much something relatively not-so-cutting-edge can send men into a drooling tizzy.
I have thought, perhaps, a super-short skirt would be the thing. Or sky-high stilettos. And I’m sure those are, but when it comes to the very real workplace – you know, that crazy concept that actually pays the bills – neither of those are options for me. I don’t work in fashion, nor anywhere with a brass pole. My reality is a multicultural, conservative, policy-driven environment that frowns upon overt sexuality.
And truth be told, my real-life bravery isn’t even on the same map as what you enjoy here.
The amazing attention that has been bestowed on me during the times I have worn them is something I gobble up with gusto. I wholeheartedly admit that it has been an marvelous boost for my ego. My online friend Matt is mostly to blame for it all. He has been a huge supporter of mine for a long time and he is a big fan of stockings and garters. After I had taken a few photo sets with the stockings and garters Matt sent to me as a gift, my husband said “It would really be a shame if you only wore his gifts in photo updates.”
From there, this part of my adventure opened up. And I suspect some might think this is no big deal, but for this slightly shy science geek, stepping out of any part of my comfort zone is an experience.
One morning, I woke up before my husband, walked into the bathroom and proceeded to get ready for my day at work. Like I often do, I had set out my outfit for the day, so that I wouldn’t need to disturb him while he slept. I found a little note from him stuck inside the dress I was planning to wear, along with the stockings and garterbelt. The whole thing was worth it the moment my husband walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to me before I left for the day.
I know my husband loves me, and we have an awful lot of fun together both in and out of the bedroom, but there is nothing that can mask true lustful surprise on a man’s face. It’s a look that goes right to my heart and knees … and ego. After over 20 years of being together, there aren’t many times left when I can see that sincere expression of delighted shock and desire. It was like watching a kid at Christmas.
Later in the day, when I revealed my fashion leap to my Office Guy the first time, his reaction was equally incredible. To stand just a few feet away from him and do the seductive hiking up of my hem, to see his eyes light up and just stare in amazement was an amazing turn-on for me. Then to allow him to touch and fondle … still a prominent masturbation memory.
I have never really been a big fan of hosiery. I don’t like pantyhose and will muddle through a day with tights only because I have a great outfit and killer boots that require the wearing of them … not to mention Canadian weather. But mostly, whenever possible, I have avoided the idea.
When I launched my website, I started to learn that there were a number of different fetishes that guys had; hosiery being one. Up until a couple months ago, outside of my photo sessions, I had only worn stockings on my wedding day. And even that day resulted with a round of sex.
Hosiery certainly accents a woman’s legs, and the smoothness of the nylon hides any slight imperfections; leaving you with a visual distraction. However, it has taken me a while to begin to understand what it is you guys really do like about a somewhat older fashion statement like stockings and garterbelts.
Stockings, more so than pantyhose, reveal a slightly different side of a woman. These days when they are less common, it suggests she has an adventurous spirit – because let’s be honest, garters and stockings are certainly not the battle-worthy undergarments that our grandmothers wore. The hint of the lace top, the peek of uncovered thigh, and the satiny band of garter that holds the stockings in place stir incredible fantasies in men, or so I’m told.
I also think that stockings and garterbelts are what take a woman from the practicality of “office attire” that pantyhose suggest to a mature playfulness. The look says she’s no longer going to put on that plaid mini-kilt and pretend she is still in Catholic school, but rather she will slip on that power suit and do naughty, naughty things on the boardroom table.
Stockings are no longer an expected part of a woman’s normal attire, so they seem to hold a flirtatious and salacious surprise when she does slip them on. Stockings are erotic and sensual, pantyhose are everyday.
Therapist and relationship expert Louise van der Velde tells us, “Stockings are sexy because they show a bit of flesh but not everything. I think it’s an association thing with men – they’re used to seeing stockings on sexy models in magazines so they trigger a response in the male mind.”
“Men find it sexier when you leave something to the imagination,” explains Joy Davidson, PhD, Manhattan-based sex therapist, author of Fearless Sex and creator of the Joy Spot videos (www.joydavidson.com). Give him a sneak peek at what you’ve got going on under those clothes by feigning an “oopsie” moment, she also suggests.
For me, as someone who has never really embraced the idea of pantyhose as something that are comfortable – and necessary – turning to this slightly outdated style has allowed me to explore a more dressy look and tease the hell out of the men in my life.
That’s worth it all!