Category Archives: Shoes
Generally, I try to be positive and thoughtful in some of the writing I post. I think part of the reason why I struggled with my blog entries this past spring was that I wasn’t really feeling the creative energy on that side of my personality. Over the past few months, things have grown into a whirlwind of frustration and stress as I try to keep pace with what is happening away from the reason I started this blog.
But in an effort to push myself back to where I want to be – where I need to be – I’ve resolved that even the moments of dark and reluctant thoughts deserve to be aired. So, this week while many of my fellow TMI Tuesday participants are blogging great sexual summer thoughts about hot weather and burning passions, I’m stripping it down again to the rawness of where your Sexy Northern Angel is at.
1. Summer clothes are more revealing than winter clothes. What is the skimpiest outfit that you wear out in public?
A picture is worth a 1,000 words…and from when I was a 1,000 times happier with the way I looked. We were away for a weekend and attending a lifestyle event (swingers dance). You can’t really tell how nervous I was, but that was soon eased when I realized that compared to a lot of the other women, I was almost over-dressed for the occasion. This would be the most risque I would say, as opposed to showing you somewhat normal photos of me in a bikini – which is a standard occurrence in the summer.
2. What summer outfits turn you on when you see other people wearing them?
I’m a sucker for a fit man in a tight white t-shirt and jeans. Given that some days are way too hot for pants, a nice pair of fitted shorts on a guy is eye-catching. Definitely not the baggy, below the knee board shorts that are tragically many men’s choice of fashion; if you’re any shorter than 6’ those ridiculous shorts make you look squatty and that’s not a good look. Try nice, somewhat dressier but still casual shorts, hemmed above the knee.
As I get a little older, my tastes on what I find sexy on a man change. My husband is to blame for how my sense of fashion changes, and some of the snarkiness in my take on guys past 30 who try way too hard to look like an 18-year old Californian surfer. These days I’m less likely to participate in the beach flirtation as I am to watch in twisted delight as the more youthful posture and pose. The guy who stands the chance to get into my bikini is the guy who will look amazing on the sidewalk bistro patio ordering a refreshing summer beverage and salad or strolling around antique shops off the beaten path.
And ditch the Old Navy $1 flip flops.
3. Summer is hot! Sex is hot! Do you find hot summer weather leads to hot summer sex?
I would love to say that summer is the perfect time for canoodling and getting sweaty busy. Right now with two very busy teenage boys in my house, there’s virtually no time for those romantic thoughts of connecting on a blanket under the stars. Our daily schedule is more like trying to juggle flaming cats and chainsaws with one hand while you attempt to give yourself a little self pleasure with your free hand.
However, I have fond memories of how hot summer weather can lead to hot summer sex. And I love hot summer sex. I love the sensation of two sweaty bodies connected, the slight salty taste of a sweaty kiss and the added slipperiness of the moment.
Yep; delightful, fond memories…
4. It’s summer and oysters are off the menu. What foods are the aphrodisiacs of summer?
For men, rumour is watermelon is a natural stimulant for better erections … just make sure you eat enough, and don’t wear a Speedo to the dinner table!
For me, personally, see the answer to Question 5 …
5. Summertime is hot and thirsty time. What is your favorite summer drink, alcoholic or not?
This summer my adult beverage of choice is the Somersby Apple Cider, an alcoholic drink that goes down way too easily on hot summer days (and nights).
6. Two traditional vacation destinations to beat the summer heat are the mountains and the shore. Where do you like to go?
Given my preference, I would choose the shore. I love the beach and the water … mostly I love watching the people. As I mentioned above in my rant about men in board shorts, I do enjoy the voyeuristic opportunity that the shoreline provides. I love watching the posturing between the 20-somethings as they work through the beach towel flirtations.
7. Summertime is road trip time. Do you like to go on vacation by car?
These days, travelling by car is about the only way we get away on a vacation. We adopted a rescue dog back in 2012 and family vacation time involves him, so that means travelling to pet-friendly locations. Mostly camping. Add to the equation that I have two active boys who play competitive sports – which means weekends spent at tournaments … which eats up those precious vacation days.
8. Summertime is experiment time. What are you going to do this summer that you’ve never done before?
Unfortunately, this is probably the worst summer to ask … my reality is I’m currently working in an environment that has denied almost all vacation time to the vast majority of employees, my social schedule is non-existent and my mood rather dark and frustrated. So, I suppose one thing I could say I’m doing that is new is working on finding a new job and trying to come to terms with where I am at in my life right now.
9. Summertime can be hazardous. What summer threat do you fear most? Possibilities: bugs, wildlife, heat, lightning…
Amphibians … frogs/toads/anything that hops that doesn’t have a basket of Easter eggs in its grubby little paws.
10. Summertime is summer fling time. Have you ever had a summertime romance? How far did it go?
No, I’ve not had a fling that lasted only for a summer. My relationships have tended to be more longer term, although I did have an awesome summer the year I met the man who would become my husband. That’s a fling that has been going on for 24 years this month.
BONUS: Summertime is Festival time – music, art, seafood, and more. What festivals have you attended or will you attend?
I’m not much for making my summer entertainment priority “festivals” … probably the last big one I went to was the Friday the 13th event held in Port Dover, ON. It’s a huge motorcycle festival that has been going on for years. While the one I went to was a summertime Friday the 13th, this is something that happens in that town EVERY Friday the 13th.
I think my favourite festival of all time would be the annual International Food & Wine festival held at Epcot in Orlando, FL. Although this happens in autumn, it’s a great experience beyond what the amusement park usually offers.
First bit of advice: never take any article written that uses an unnamed “corporate spokesperson” as its primary source to be a very credible piece.
I said to my husband this morning, as I sipped on my coffee and scanned a few bits and pieces online before work that I felt a rant coming on over something published on Yahoo. OK, second piece of advice: never take anything published as “news” on Yahoo as credible. They make those bitter and self-indulgent Carrie Bradshaw wannabes at Cosmo look like they stand a chance at a Pulitzer for investigative journalism.
The article which raised my ire was entitled “You’re Too Old To Wear That.” Another fluffy piece that suggests women must adhere to specific style standards as they climb the chronological ladder. And the primary “expert” was someone from a company that specializes in anti-aging skin care.
Apparently, a study conducted by said “skin-care company” found one third of the 2,000 women they polled (all of whom were over 45) worried that some items in their wardrobe were age-inappropriate, and 80 per cent felt they “needed to abandon ‘younger’ styles as they grew older.”
“We think middle aged is supposed to be later, but women are saying that in the early 40s a lot of things need to be toned down,” the unnamed corporate source said.
Now, before you think the top of my head is going to blow off, there are some things that I do agree should be retired. Anything that can be mistaken for a sequined napkin being passed off as a miniskirt might be best saved for those “special club nights” and not the office. And I know you guys will all be disagreeing with me, saying a miniskirt is the perfect choice for work, but a lot of offices have these things called “policies” and they’re usually written by stuffy women with self-esteem and feminism issues who subscribe to articles such as this as “workplace attire gospel.”
If there is anything superficial that I get compliments on, it is my legs – and I am proud of the fact that I have the kind which will serve as pleasant distractions for many of you guys. Forgive my moment of vanity, but damn it, I enjoy the attention … particularly “at my age.”
Believe it or not, there are quite a few of us that are perfectly comfortable with our ability to provide a visual distraction. Looking sexy – and seeing that others are noticing you looking sexy – helps us feel sexy, which in turn fuels a lot of what goes on in our imaginations. It’s also a magnificent method of dealing with work-related stress.
Maybe that’s just because I love to flirt.
And, I am intelligent enough to match wits with the best, so this isn’t a habit of compensation or leverage to “get ahead” in a “man’s world.” It’s more in tune with having reached an age where my appreciation for playing the part has greater depth; and the fact that I couldn’t really care less what the majority of my female peers have to say about the length of my skirt or the height of my heels.
The disappointing aspect of articles like these – beyond being “sponsored” by corporations that market anti-aging products to women – is that they add to the societal confines already placed on women. The messages say “you’re too old to wear anything above the knee” and “you’re too old for that colour of lipstick.”
Women should be celebrating their confidence as they “get older.” I am in a much more comfortable place at 38 than I was at 28, and at 18. And as such, I get to enjoy the benefits of that confidence even more. To sit back and think that in three years I need to hide my miniskirts and start shopping for sensible shoes is ridiculous.
In fact, in three years I hope everyone around me will be staring in disbelief with “Damn she looks hot for her age.”
But even if they don’t, I won’t care. I’m not defined by silly notions concocted by the marketing departments and “corporate spokespeople” at companies which sell anti-aging products.
THE OTHER SUGGESTED SILLINESS
- knee-high boots should be retired by age 45
- tattoos start to look bad by the mid-50s
- ditch high heels by the time you are 59
- hair braids only in your 20s
- pants that say “pink,” or anything, for that matter, on the butt
- stop wearing light, short, flimsy dresses as the upper thighs…change…with age
This is probably one topic that could keep going around and around as I get deeper and deeper into my sexual adventure. And while it has been a marvelous 10 years of exploring, gradually experimenting and experiencing new things, I am continually amazed at both what I learn from other people in terms of fetishes, and how my own kinks and sexual quirks seemingly evolve along the way.
I can’t say that any of mine border even close to some of those truly outrageous requests I have gotten through my website and videos over the past decade … some of which still leave me scratching my head. I think mine are relatively tame and yet still sexy enough to be intriguing and maybe a bit unusual among my offline circle of friends. Naturally, I am making a bit of an assumption there, as I don’t really know what goes on behind their bedroom doors.
So when this Formspring question made an appearance, I thought “I have an answer to that!”
Quite a while back I wrote about how I was learning to really understand what it is men like about women in stockings. For photographic reasons, I was quite comfortable with wearing them, along with the more modern version, thigh highs. But other than my wedding day, and a few steamy date nights, I had not really explored the idea of wearing hosiery as such, as part of my office attire.
And while it is something that always proves to be a worthwhile fashion choice – given the reactions it produces at home and at work – like all good fetishes, moderation is the key in keeping it exciting and erotic each time. I think if I wore them everyday, or at least every time I dressed up for work or a date, it may get a little too expected. Part of why it is a favourite fetish is the reaction of the guys, not just the ideas in my own mind.
I have definitely come to appreciate the sideways glances, and occasional downright stare, that I get from the guys I work with. Unlike some women who might see that as a precursor to sexual harassment, I’m thrilled – and somewhat turned on – but the knowledge that they consider me worthy of their lusty looks. I certainly can’t complain when the whole idea is very much planned and expected on my behalf.
I think that is a big part of why I see it as being different from being “objectified.” I set out with a teasing, flirting scheme in mind … trying to be coy on my own to catch the men around me sneaking a peek. And if our eyes happen to meet, I try to give them a knowing little look that says I’m thrilled they noticed and flattered.
And even though the guys may never know if there is a garter belt holding those stockings up, or if I’m jammed into some tortuous control tops, I can’t say I get the same personal feelings from pantyhose … they are just something that I could never feel comfortable in. But stockings, and the occasional romp in thigh highs, make me feel sexy and attractive.
That’s why right now, they are among my favourite fetishes. And, if you really like to see how it plays out, don’t miss my latest update … it’s exactly what this blog is all about!
Without question, I have it pretty damn good with where I am at in my marriage right now. I have a lot of freedom to not just explore some of my sexual desires, but to openly share and discuss what goes on with my imagination and fantasies. I’m not living vicariously like a lot of people I know – people that resent their spouses and marriages for the trapped feeling they seem to endure rather than putting the effort in to make a change.
And I recognize that on here, based on the community I have kind of slid into with my blog, I am exposed to a lot of sex-positive people, couples with open marriages and wild fantasies. We’re open to share, comment, and pontificate. The same can’t be said for my real life, where I have to watch what I say and how much information I can divulge to those around me – even to some of my closest friends and family members.
But I think the amount of support, encouragement and freedom I enjoy in my sexual adventure is both a blessing and a burden. It leaves me having to explain to jealous coworkers and friends that they also have the opportunity to challenge their imaginations if they work to make it happen.
Sadly, most of them still harbour the belief that “marriage” does not fit into “adventure” and “excitement” is something “we just don’t do.”
Recently, after I had opened up about some of the more socially-acceptable experiences I have been able to enjoy with my lusting husband, my friend scoffed about her own situation – how she was beginning to get a feeling of hatred towards her spouse – and although I feel for her, some of my sympathy faded because it was evident that she felt no responsibility to correct her own problems.
I found myself asking, as I listened to her: “What is the one thing you could do today to make your sex life better?”
For me, simple: invest in more short skirts and sexy dresses to wear to work.
If you have followed along and gotten to know me, you’ll know that for the most part I’m kind of a science geek. I work in a pretty conservative and sterile environment, and it can be pretty easy to fade into the background and plod along. But, it seems I married a man who enjoys building my self-esteem and self-image up, and has worked to bring about a real metamorphosis within me.
A big part of that, outside of the emotional rewards, has been his encouragement for me to be someone who stands out and looks, in his words, drool-worthy – especially at work. And it wasn’t even about expressing my sexuality as a woman, as much as it was about adding to the overall “package.” I’m proud of being a very qualified and professional individual at my work – which has earned me a good deal of respect from my superiors. My husband’s thinking was taking what I had earned and going a little further by appearing the same way – dressing for success, so to speak.
I won’t even try to hide the fact that he did have ulterior motives – he doesn’t even try to hide the fact that he loves it when I wear heels and dresses or skirts. But, at the same time, style doesn’t need to be slutty; and dressing for success can be equal to dressing for sex if you do it right.
Naturally it took me a while to reach a comfort level with being pretty much the only one in my department that wore heels, stylish dresses and skirts. But the reactions from people around me soon became a bit of an addiction. I think everyone appreciates a compliment, but it turned me on to catch some of the men I work with taking notice of what I was wearing. It didn’t take long for that kind of attention to turn into a real aphrodisiac for me.
So, each time I push the fashion envelope at work, it seems to benefit me sexually.
I can’t say that what works in my life is going to work for anyone else, but I do know when I start to feel a little down, or not as attractive as I would like, my solution is to focus on changing the mood around me first. Once you begin to see the change in how people treat you, and can find comfort in knowing that some of it is based on sexuality, you might be amazed at how much more enjoyable getting up and going to work can be.
There will be many who think that opening yourself up, as a woman, to the attention of men in the workplace equates “sexual harassment.” In some cases they may be right … but in other situations, it’s also a case of “get over yourself and enjoy the fact you can still catch their eye.”
Do you ever have one of those weekends where every possible event happens on the same day? It’s almost as if my life just isn’t busy enough these days … Good lord, I never thought a woman in her so-called “prime” would get so tired.
Apart from an invite to play hockey (long story), take my Little Man to an out-of-town baseball tournament (thank heaven for carpool favours) and a few others, my little appointment book is bursting at the seams.
Despite all the options, I have one major event that I will not miss – the wedding of one of my friends from work. I love weddings, and especially the opportunity to get all dressed up. Most of my life is spent in work clothes, or slothing around the house in something comfy. I know that comes as quite a shocker – given all the naughty lingerie you see me wearing on my website. So when I get the chance to dress up (quite a bit more now for work or to party), I like to go all out. But I think you have also managed to see that side of me too!
There’s going to be some serious “glam” at this wedding, and I’ll have no worries about really putting it on for a change. Plus this weekend is also supposed to bring some nice weather, which means I am going for the sexy new LBD and stiletto heels look. Heck, I might even paint my nails!
Wearing sexy shoes remains one of life’s big challenges for me. Because I work in an environment that has some strict rules about footwear, finding heels that comply is difficult … not to mention finding heels I can stand to wear for a full day of marathonesque running. It’s a bigger challenge for my husband for his fashion sense. He openly admits to be a shoe-slut, and quietly endures my more sensible Monday-Friday choices.
This time around though, I found a great pair of heels to go with my new dress. So in honour of a sexy stiletto Saturday, I found this little bit on the Internet about why high heels are the sexiest shoes:
The stuff you strut is more sensual when you’re up on your toes, says Do Gentlemen Really Prefer Blondes author Jena Pincott: “Heels force your pelvis to tilt so that both your rear end and chest stick out.” One study showed that leg lengths 5 per cent longer than average are the most attractive, so for most women, a 1.5- to 3-inch heel would create the ideal leg length.
“This attraction might be evolutionary, because long legs are associated with better long-term health, which would appeal to a mate. Plus, much like a peacock flaunts his feathers, which are really quite heavy and a nuisance, a woman teetering in heels can show off her fitness and coordination.”
If I had to pick one body part that I could say I was confident over, it would be my legs (not trying to be vain here guys, just sharing what some of you seem to suggest to me …). I think if I was able to be more stylish on an everyday basis, maybe I’d play it up a bit more and show them off. You know, draw the attention down and away from other bits I’m not so OK with right now.
But a sexy set of stilettos also means a little prep work.
When Marilyn Monroe had her stilettos made uneven heights to accentuate her hip-wiggle, she understood the power of high heels. Ridiculous, to be sure, but her point might have been this: If you’re going to wear heels, wear them well.
- Posture is critical. Keep your spine upright and slightly arched, and shoulders back to avoid hunching over.
- Start with one foot coming out at a slight outward angle, striking with the heel first. As you walk, continue the heel-toe step.
- Minding your posture – imagine there’s a string in your head, pulling you up – use your arms and hips to change the centre of rotation in your body. As your hips rotate one way, your shoulders should angle slightly the other way for balance.
- Shorten your stride. It’s easy to spot someone unaccustomed to heels by her klumping, bouncing footfall and hunched back.
- Loosen up. It’s all in the hips. If they’re too stiff, your gait will be off and you’ll end up off-balance.
- Start with shorter heels and wear them around the house, especially if they’re new. Walking over a variety of surfaces like carpet and tile will help too.
- Carry bandages in your purse at all times.
Anyway … done properly, that power of the high heel will translate into wobbly knees later on – and that has nothing to do with the actual heel!
So, time to trade in the sensible sneakers for a little glam … I can’t wait!