Category Archives: mini skirt
Without a doubt, if you had asked me back in early 2002 if I imagined myself doing an amateur porn site, I would have said you were crazy. It wasn’t so much about my outlook on the genre – or some deep seeded moral debate on the issues surrounding pornography – but more so because I couldn’t imagine that there would be any real interest.
My reasons for that change in the summer of that year have been well-documented before. If you want the back story, you can find it here.
Over the 12 years I have been doing my website, the “business” has changed dramatically. While I have plugged along, doing my thing, the impact of the Internet on our lives – and the massive exposure to all sorts of sexually related content – has pushed the “amateurness” to a much different level. In the early days, even though I jumped into the fray kind of late, the amateur genre was still very much low-res images of honest-to-goodness housewives and everyday women. The quality of the pictures (lord how I cringe when I look at my first few sets) was definitely at a different standard.
But the interest from our fan base was rooted very much in what the pictures showed, as opposed to the quality of the pixels. They wanted to see the kind of woman they may see at work, or next door, or at their kids’ sports in sexually explicit ways. Now even amateur porn has a very professional feel to it, and many models are just as airbrushed and dolled-up as those Playboy centrefolds were before the Internet was a household item. It doesn’t help the genre when such obvious professionals brand themselves as amateurs.
In conversation with an online friend recently, they asked me where I thought everything would be heading in the next few years. These days, I honestly don’t give a tremendous amount of thought to the business side of my website (not that I ever really have). My husband does the majority of the work, from the photography to coordinating which sets get sent in to Southern Charms at what time. My joy in the picture taking has always been the posing, the time spent creating the photos – and the celebratory intimacy when the work is over. My purpose for my site has always been about bringing that sexual heat and spice to my marriage, not the “business of amateur porn.”
That’s not to say I’m completely detached from the ins and outs off the mattress. We have seen, with my website, trends that pretty much look like those stock market charts – lots of peaks and valleys. Just before the economy took a dump in 2008, you may have almost convinced me to spend more time on the sexy side of life as you would have my real life career. These days, however, the reality has returned to “a nice naughty hobby.”
And then, even within the context of “amateur” as a genre, things have changed. I think it is now very segmented between the “stereotypical housewives” like myself and the new breed of young Kartrashian wannabes – the selfie-addicted, club-hopping diva in sparkly painted-on minidresses and stiletto heels. Each style of “amateur” has their own idea of what it entails to be involved in porn; and both are remarkably different. On a personal level, I see these young women as being less about the contrast between reality and naughty fantasy; rather, they come across as overly addicted to the attention and wear their sexuality more brazenly than the tiny napkins they call clothes.
As an aside, I do realize there are many levels to what could be amateur porn; from the mostly-solo/heterosexual brand of housewife porn I produce, through to gay male to some of the more extreme sexual lifestyles.
I’ve always enjoyed being a contrast in men’s fantasies – the very “normal” and unassuming soccer mom type in public, with an intriguing sexual secret in private. It has always been more fun slowly inviting men into that part of my world. It’s that idea, to me, that has always been the “amateur” part; the contrast and the secret surprise that exists behind the public facade.
I’m not sure where “amateur porn” is going to be headed in the future. I strongly suspect that, given the amount of video that is out there now, the photo side of it may become a smaller demand. I know guys are highly visual animals when it comes to sexual excitement; which adds to my thoughts on why video may be an even bigger part of it.
With the explosion of copyright-infringing websites, and weak laws to help protect those of us who participate in the modelling side, I can’t really see how we will be able to continue producing what we do. I’m not saying I do it for the money – but I’m not going to continue and do it for free. For women like me, there are risks that most fans likely don’t consider, nor care about, in doing this kind of little hobby. To continue just for the sake of putting myself out there without any kind of “reward” for taking the risk…there is a big part of me that hopes something will be done to protect our copyrights with more vigilance. But that may be a pipe dream – sort of like herding cats.
“Without independence in a marriage people feel trapped.”
I read that quote the other day and it resonated with me quite a bit. As someone who recently celebrated two decades of marital bliss, it seems second nature for me to have an expectation of independence. Now, it wasn’t always that way. I was someone who struggled terribly in the early days of my marriage. I had just graduated from college, was truly on my own for the first time in my life and jumped into a major commitment with the man I loved.
Fortunately it all worked out. And funnily enough, it worked out only because we worked on it. My husband said the other day – as we were talking about the demise of the marriage of a couple we are friends with – the struggles we faced would have been the end for a lot of young couples. People have a “disposable approach” to relationships as much as they do common household items; we refused to throw ours away.
Part of the strength in our relationship is that we have both a strong connection to each other, but a healthy level of independence. I hazard to say, my husband has also been the primary reason why I was able to find my independence – and not just in marriage, but in my life as a whole. It’s a balance between having someone need me and me need them AND the freedom to be myself and pursue my own path.
I’ve said it before in my blog, and in conversation online, that I have discovered more about myself, my desires and passions because of my relationship. I have experienced things I believe I would have never had the opportunity – or courage – to have ever tried. From accepting and exploring my bisexual side, through to the freedom to fulfill my fantasy with my Office Guy, that sense of independence played a key role. My reliance on my husband in those first days of discovery – pushing me forward and being there beside me to prove I would be safe – built on my strength of character to accept that I, as a healthy woman and sexual being, could pursue some adventure in my life. In essence, it removed the fear most of us have when it comes to admitting our sexual interests extend beyond hardline monogamy.
But the question remains “How can you find it?”
A journey of self-discovery with someone leading the way is one place to start, in my opinion. My husband introduced me to many new ideas in life – from social activities to bedroom gymnastics to creating fantasies. And those, in turn, opened my mind and gave me the confidence to take my own first steps. Independence came from the building of trust that occurred during these experiences.
Many couples (or at least ones I seem to know) don’t have a sense of trust in their relationship that they would even dare admit to silly, normal things such as flirting with a co-worker, or talking intimately about a fantasy. Having trust allows you to have some separation in your relationship; room to move, so to speak, and discover things on your own.
If you can’t trust, you can’t discover that independence.
How did it work for me? Hours upon hours of talking, sharing … finding creative and silly ways to share confessions with each other. We used every outlet we could think of to open those doors – and went back through them often. It’s easy for me to say, “just communicate” and expect it to work. I know enough about relationships to know it isn’t that easy.
Accept your sexual desires
If you want your spouse to trust you and give you some sexual independence in your relationship (whether that means exploring beyond the traditional or not), you need to come to terms with your own desires. If you can’t accept, for whatever reason, your own sexual thoughts then it will be hard to be open about what you want. My own example: I grew up in a small town, where anything you said or did became public knowledge in a hurry. I would never have admitted to having bi-curious thoughts for fear of being judged and having my reputation smeared by small-minded people. It took my husband a good couple years of constant reinforcement and support for me to finally “come out.”
In the beginning my husband encouraged me to keep a sexual diary – something close to those things that teenage girls write their high school fantasies in, but mine was meant to capture the thoughts that popped into my head, to draw my imagination out and help me build on those momentary flashes of horniness. That eventually morphed into my blog. But the point was to find a way to connect my consciousness to the subconscious and fuel my sexual desires more openly.
Open your sexual soul to your spouse
My husband knows exactly what turns me on and what doesn’t. He could describe my sexual fantasies better than me, right down to the kind of man I would love to invite into my fantasies. He has cast aside his jealousy and been tells me the greatest reward was being able to watch me be sexually satisfied by a man I wanted a sexual encounter with. All of this is because he taught me how to expose my sexual soul to him, how to share my intimate thoughts with confidence and even act of some of those to turn fantasies into realities.
You have to own your sexuality; it can’t be something someone else determines for you. Does that mean I’m open to trying something just for my husband? Absolutely … but it also means I’m confident enough is expressing to what limit my sexual adventure is willing to reach.
Find your sexual creativity in how you communicate
My husband is a creative man; he needs to be from a professional point of view, and doesn’t give it up on a personal level. In the 20 years we have been going down the path of discovery together, he has:
- Created personal surveys/questionnaires for me on my sexual fantasies which I have been asked to provide written answers to. Sometimes we have just made long drives into amazing moments of sexual 20 questions.
- Created handmade invitations for dates, and turned the experiences into “magical mysteries.” The effort is worth far more than the environment. My husband found a way to turn a date to a casino into one of the most erotic dates we’ve had as a couple in recent years. Neither of us really gamble … with money.
- Created “treasure hunts” for dates, where I have been given a certain amount of time and money to find and buy an outfit to wear for a date that night. A woman who has had a riot being pampered with a new outfit AND a night away from the children is a woman whose libido is soaring like a rocket.
- Arranged for dates to places where I could be sexually liberal without fear of being judged. My husband’s idea of fashion for a night out with me frequently exceeds my personal level of fashion bravery – especially if I have a feeling that I will be leered at. So when he wants that micro mini and skyhigh stilettos planted on the dance floor instead of pointed at the ceiling, he plans to take me places where the men are well-behaved and the women equally attired. In other words, if you want your woman to wear those thigh high boots and tiny demin skirt when you go play billiards, you better be willing to accept every man in the pool hall to be checking her out.
Never close the metaphorical door
Almost everyone has the ability to keep an open mind. I’ve learned when you are pursue something new in a sexual sense, it is absolutely vital you make that a conscious thought. There is nothing that will slam the door shut on exploring new experiences than an inconsiderate comment, hint of jealousy or feeling of being ‘thrown under the bus.’ Most women still need to feel that their partner will “protect” them. Not necessarily in just the physical sense and warding off any unwanted come-ons from guys who may have the wrong impression (it happens, trust me), but she wants you to protect her fragile sense of confidence. Most of us don’t wear skyhigh heels and napkins for skirts on a daily basis. That is really putting our sexual self on the line for judgment. We don’t just want to know you’re turned on; we want to know you’re an equal partner in the adventure.
Driving has always held a little extra erotic twist for many of us … the innocence of ‘running out of gas’ on first dates, the naughtiness of steamy windows at drive-in movies, the freedom that a licence brought. There was definitely a time when a car meant escape from the boredom of home life and the excitement of an open road – and the occasional back road with the right partner!
For many of us – including me – it also meant the discovery of a whole new world of back seat negotiations. So, let’s put things into drive for TMI Tuesday …
1. What type of vehicle do you use regularly? Truck, car, bike, etc.
When I’m on four wheels, I have a gas-guzzling SUV that can hold two hockey bags, two kids, one rescue dog and occasionally a husband. When I’m feeling a little more adventurous and needing the wind in my hair, I have 650cc Savage … affectionately known as Uncle Buck due to the resounding backfire when I turn it off after a ride.
2. Do you use public transportation–bus, train, metro/subway, cab? How often?
Until recently I was one of the lemmings that packed myself into a commuter train everyday and follow the flow of the miserable. Now I’ve escaped from that grind and am enjoying the daily commute with better company.
3. Have you ever had sex in/on public transportation? Tell us about it?
No … public transportation in these parts is really kind of gross.
4. I know most of you have had sex in a car or truck but how many times have you had sex in your present vehicle?
In my current vehicle, despite the fact that it provides a tremendous amount of space over some of the others I’ve owned, only once. I have, however, teased the crap out of my husband by masturbating in it a couple times as he drove.
5. When was the last time you had sex in car or truck type vehicle? Was it with a known person or a stranger?
Hmm … it’s probably been a couple years since I’ve gotten busy in a vehicle. And last time I did, it was with my husband.
6. Have you ever had sex on a bicycle or motorcycle?
Two-wheeled sex? Nope … but the vibrations from the engine on my motorcycle can be rather intriguing when I’m in the right mood. But then, I always try to ignore it because when you’re riding a bike, you have to focus … on the road.
7. Stick shift or manual? Why?
Other than my motorcycle, it’s nothing but an automatic for me. I should really try to learn a stick shift sometime, but until I have the money for that little Porsche convertible …
8. Ever had sex on the hood of a car? (Hood = The part of a car that covers the engine and that can be raised. The British word is bonnet.)
Yes … and the trunk too! It was a sad day when those hand prints on the thin layer of dirt were washed away in a rain storm.
BONUS: You are walking down the street. A very sexy and nude person (gender of your choice) pulls up next to you in their shiny new Mercedes Benz, they lower the window and say, “Do you want to ride in my Mercedes?” What do you do? Tell us what you want to do on that ride?
I’m actually someone who is not swayed by labels … not on clothes, not on cars. The fact you’re driving something like that is more likely to tell me you’re far too into yourself than you are into me. I see these guys all the time in these fancy sports cars and it seems the more expensive the car, the bigger the jerk behind the wheel. I guess it’s the farm girl in me – impress me with your personality, not your wallet.
BONUS, BONUS: What is the sexiest thing you have ever done in a vehicle?
Hmm … flashing/upskirting passing truckers during my morning commute? Road sex? Oral sex while he’s driving? Testing out a new sex toy I just bought at a sex show while he is driving me home? Hard to pick … why not just ask what you want the naughty details on?
Hey everyone, I know it’s been a while since I wrote something for you, but I’ve been dealing with some major offline changes in my life and a week of vacation. If you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that I just made the decision to pursue my day job in a whole new environment and that brings about a whole new adventure. It won’t change much for my online life – except maybe give me the chance to start some new conversations as I tempt fate elsewhere for a while!
Anyway, we’re here again for another TMI Tuesday, this week penned as “What I like About You” … which is actually me, in context.
1. Tell us about you in 10 words or less.
The girl next door with a very naughty secret side.
2. What radio stations do you have programmed and regularly listen to (format, genre)?
My radio listening is generally tuned to a couple stations that provide in-depth traffic reports in the morning to make my commute as easy as possible, and a handful of pop/top-40 stations that play music I can sing to.
3. What color are your eyes today?
My eyes have always been, and likely will remain, a deep brown. They are something I get sincere compliments on, when you guys take a moment to notice them.
4. Did you shave today?
5. What’s your personality?
Offline, I’m rather shy and reserved. Once I get to know you, I can be exceptionally flirty and funny. I try very hard to get along with most people, but have a competitive streak.
Online, I’m completely naughty, outwardly flirty and a hell of a lot bolder than I should be!
6. Tell us two things that most people mention they like about you.
Offline, my sense of humour and the fact that I’m willing to try anything once.
7. Name one thing that you really like about yourself.
That I had the courage to take the first step … in a lot of directions … and take control of where I was going instead of just being a passenger in life.
BONUS: How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?
I would be 39 … but let’s be honest, I want to take the knowledge I have now at 39 and work it back into the body I had at 18.
It has been a while since I dug into my collection of questions from people I have encountered on here and some of the other online avenues of my life; and with the sun starting to actually melt the frozen tundra that is my neighbourhood I thought it would be a good time to put some specific answers out there.