Monthly Archives: September 2012
I think I burn an awful lot of mental calories by trying to keep my naughty secret life from blending too much into the façade that is my everyday public life. Well, maybe not so obvious, but few people have any clue what really lurks beneath the surface of their oft-goofy, hockey mom friend. Never mind letting them step inside my imagination for even a minute.
As much as you might think it would be easy, as you know when you have a big secret, it can be a challenge to keep it under wraps. When your secret is rooted in such a deep sexual lifestyle, it can be kind of fun and difficult at the same time. Conversations slowly venture down certain paths, as human nature would have it, and when coworkers and friends open up about past experiences and desires, it’s tempting to let them know just a bit more than they think they might.
So anyway, this might come on the weekend, but I guess in a way it still counts as a Formspring Friday – because that’s when I actually sat down to put some thought to the question.
What bad thing makes you more appealing?
Hmm, there are a few possible avenues to take with this one. When I put my mind to what “bad thing” I have in my life – and we all know the question is referring to the sexual side of me – I think of the one thing that those few who know a lot about me: my naughty secret life is what makes me intriguing.
Actually surprising … then intriguing as the game of 20 questions begins. And then, after that, appealing because they look at me in a different way.
Only a very select few people know about what I get up to on the Internet, and as an extension of that, my sexual interests, kinks and fantasies. The rest of the people in my life have very little idea as to what goes on when I am at home – which isn’t that much different from most. But it’s safe to say, there probably aren’t many that have an amateur porn website and sell videos and panties.
Stepping away from that aspect, I would have to say that my flirty nature would be a close second. While I can’t divulge all the naughty details of my sex life to the people around me, it’s not much of a secret that I tend to be a flirt – especially once I get to know you a bit more. And it doesn’t matter whether you’re a man or a woman, I like to flirt equally. Although I do think the guys tend to appreciate it just a little more.
My personal experience has been this – and please, keep in mind that I am sharing my personal experience, not some pseudo-social study – men are more open to flirting with women than women are open to flirting with women. There remains a very strong social taboo about same-sex playfulness, just as there is about same-sex relationships.
Not to mention, around me, the men are more receptive because, to be blunt, the flirting pool is pretty shallow and there’s not a lot of swimmers anyway. So it hasn’t been too difficult to earn my reputation as the one willing to get wet.
Happy Tuesday! I’m sure you’ve been waiting for something new from me; and while I had hoped to get more written this past weekend, things got a bit away from me. Hubby and I spent most of Saturday enjoying some serious couple time, along with shooting a sexy new photo update.
I was pretty excited to learn that this week’s TMI Tuesday includes the questions that I submitted. But that also means having to answer my own questions too.
Although, I will admit, it’s is not as difficult as some of the other Tuesday updates – you know the ones, with the questions that make my brain hurt. These ones are lots of fun, and revolve around a subject that always makes me go “what’s the big deal?” when I hear my girl friends commenting on how they refuse to let their husbands go to a strip club.
1. Have you ever danced naked in front of anyone? What prompted the experience?
For me this is a yes and no kind of answer. While I have not danced totally naked in front of anyone (not in person, anyway), I have enjoyed a couple of very erotic occasions where I danced topless. The first time, my husband and I were just beginning to dabble in the swingers’ lifestyle and went to a club not too far from where we live. After a few drinks, and a whole lot of watching all the sexy fun, we found ourselves on the dance floor. Hubby began to ease the top of my dress off my shoulders and gradually all the way down to my waist, where it remained for a few dances.
It was an extremely frightening and erotic experience.
The next time, we were at a different club with a couple we had met who were also exploring the lifestyle. The other wife and I went out onto the dance floor to give the boys a bit of a show … and ended up removing each others’ tops. Equally as erotic and exciting, but a lot less frightening than the first time.
2. Have you been to a strip club? Was it what you expected?
Two versions for me: I have been to both a male club and a female club.
Watching male strippers is a lot of fun; but more so because women like to go crazy in this kind of situation. There is a lot of energy, some incredibly buff men and a few drinks floating around. I can’t say that I find it as sexually exciting as my experience at the club where the women were dancing.
I ended up going to one with my husband, who had planned a bit of a surprise night for me. When we got to the club – and he managed to talk me into going inside – I learned he had invited one of my friends and her husband as well. That helped calm me down from the initial nerves.
This club was totally not what I expected. It was a lot more sedate than the males dancers, but I found myself getting way more turned on by watching the strippers here. There was a real sense of erotic chemistry because it seemed to be a bit more of an intimate setting. Not even close to what my impression of what it would be like. The girls weren’t these big breasted barbies like they tend to be portrayed by Hollywood…and actually some of them were kinda scary.
I was also surprised at the number of women there were in the audience. It was quite the happening place. And I found it quite exciting. One dancer kept watching me as she did her routine on a little side stage close to where we were sitting. It was quite the turn on.
3. Have you ever been to an “amateur night” at a strip club?
No … at least not yet.
4. Do you think strip clubs are exploitative or are they misunderstood as simple adult entertainment venues?
Any club that charges what they charge to get in and for drinks is exploitive. I don’t see stripping as exploitation of women … I think a lot of the dancers have a very keen sense of how to separate a man from his money. I do understand that there is a seedy side to these clubs, and how a lot of illegal activity can go on behind closed doors – but I also think those things go on regardless.
5. Would you ever consider stripping to pay for college or other expenses?
If I could use the old “if I knew then what I know now” mantra, I most certainly would consider it.
6. Have you ever given your partner a private dance?
No … once again, this seems a bit awkward for me, and hasn’t really been part of our sexual habits.
I don’t have any issue with lap dances either. One of these days I think it would be fun to get one. I think the whole experience can be quite erotic if it is performed properly. Being a woman, I have to admit that I do enjoy watching the control we have over guys that way…teasing and taunting with naughty dances while you poor things can’t touch.
7. Would you ever perform a lap dance for a complete stranger?
I think I probably would, if all the circumstances played out the way I see them. It would be a very erotic turn on to perform something like that for someone, teasing and torturing them, gyrating and grinding against them in an effort to get them sexually aroused. I think it could be fun.
8. Showgirls, Strip Tease, Magic Mike … What is the sexy Hollywood stripper scene you have ever YouTubed?
Actually, none of these yet. But perhaps once I have finished writing today’s blog …
Bonus: Do you have a stripper fantasy, that given the chance of not being found out, you would turn into a reality?
I would try stripping on amateur night if I knew I could get away with it. Things like nude beaches, clubs, etc., they’re a lot of fun, but the idea of being up on stage, in front of a crowd like that really gets me thinking. The strip club we went to has an amateur night, and from what I hear, it’s quite the party. It’s in a university town nearby, and all the talk is of girls from the school letting loose and trying to win some money. I’m not too sure, because it sounds so much like an urban myth, but it would be wild to try.
Sadly, my own insecurities and possible loss of employment don’t allow for me to really give it a try. If anyone found out, I think my employer would pretty much show me the door. I work in a pretty conservative field, and it just wouldn’t be very good.
On top of that, I think I would like to lose a few pounds before I even consider it. I’m not as “buff” as I was back a few years ago. I would definitely need to get in shape. I also have to wonder about whether or not men would want to see a 38-year-old mother of two up on stage. I love the esteem boost that I get from all responses to my blog and website, but what I think in my own head as to what men would think of me might be a little more complementary than the reality.
This started out as an entry for Friday, but quickly turned into a weekend update. I had every intention of sitting down on Thursday night with a nice vodka cooler on ice, baseball game on television, hubby at my side and my laptop firmly planted on my lap. But a few naughty texts and flirty coworkers on both sides of our marriage turned the evening into a rather steamy and erotic affair that end with both us collapsed in a sweaty heap on the bed.
So, here I am, quietly tucked away into a corner at work, trying to eke out a few sentences for you between interruptions and actually fulfilling the responsibilities to my paycheque. Seriously people, it’s Friday … can it not wait until Monday?
But that is a good segue into the question that someone recently slipped into my inbox …
It’s hard to say if there is anything “weird” that has come from all the craziness … as long as you don’t include all the requests for some of the most bizarre fetishes.
The one that had me really going “Huh?” has been the requests for my panties – but only after I have done some very disgusting things in them. Um … that was a whole new and unexpected introduction to a side of the Internet I had not been aware of. Call me naïve, but it left me wondering about some of the strange things in life that turn people on.
I knew about the idea of having sexual souvenirs, and how some men had a thing for worn panties … and that has been something that I recently decided I was ready to explore more openly. But in this case, I’m not really talking about doing “naughty” things in my panties – that part I get. This specific request was about doing things that I have not done since I wore diapers. Definitely way beyond my comfort zone.
But, despite the initial shock, the request also helped me open my mind to a broader understanding of peoples’ fetishes … and in a way, gave me an opportunity to explore some new ones of my own. You quickly learn on the Internet that you are not always alone in some of the ideas that seem delightfully kinky.
Offline, probably the one thing that I don’t consider to be weird, but I certainly understand how many people in committed relationships would wonder about, is how revealing my secret online life to a male friend at work led to an oral-sex filled rendezvous in a hotel while my husband sat in a chair in the corner and watched.
Weird to some people because there is a very prevalent (and normal) perception that marriage has rigid confines … which turn up in some people as “hang ups.” Instead of exploring together and sharing an adventure to see where life can go, they wallow in jealousy and resentment.
I’m not sure there are many husbands that would be willing – and turned on – by the idea of letting their wife explore a new sexual experience so openly. Nor do I know a lot of married women who would actually go through with the opportunity, even though they have a strong sexual desire to try new things.
Among the people that communicate with me online, and the sex-positive community that my blog and website has introduced me to, exploring in such a manner may not seem so unusual. But the reality of my offline life is vastly different – and exceptionally vanilla on the surface.
Hey guys, this week’s TMI Tuesday was a lot of fun to put together for you … and I don’t mind saying it took me a few stops and starts to get it all done!
This week we slip into my panties to learn a little too much information about my orgasms, and all the delightful ways and ideas that take me from zero to sixty in a blink of an eye. And I know you also enjoy the idea of having me in the throws of passion.
Do you remember your first orgasm. How old were you? Tell us about it.
Yes, I was a young teenager and just discovering all those wonderful things that were beginning to happen to me as puberty began to occur. I had an idea as to what pleasure was about, but had yet to fully explore. One day, I was at a pool with some friends and learned that if you positioned yourself just right, the water jet provided an amazing thrust of excitement. Not long after, I learned you could enjoy the same sensations with the running water from the bathtub faucet.
What is your favourite way to orgasm? (sex, g-spot, oral, etc)
It’s hard to say if there is a favourite way for me because any orgasm is a good orgasm. But, the vast majority of my orgasms come from my favourite little vibrator. To be more descriptive, masturbation for me is also very much an external act. I’m not a woman who can orgasm just through penetration and so clitoral stimulation is my thing.
Are there any ways you want to experience an orgasm but haven’t yet? (oral, g-spot, with or without a vibrator, squirt, etc.)
Hmm … I have to admit that this confuses me a bit. Is the question looking for a technical or experiential answer; or even geographic? I can’t think of other objects or methods of reaching an orgasm that I haven’t tried. That isn’t to say that there aren’t things that I see that makes me go “hmm.” Or people….
When I think of orgasms in unusual ways, I think more about places that intrigue me and daring situations … there are a lot of thoughts in my mind along those lines.
When it comes to people, I can think of two ways right now: through the talents of another woman and the talents of a man other than my husband. Both of these experiences have been done in my past, but I would love to experience that all over again – especially now that I am at a much better place in my sexual adventure.
Have you ever had an orgasm in your sleep?
Not that I am aware … although I have woken up extremely turned on by an erotic dream and taken a few minutes to give myself one.
What is the easiest/fastest way for you to have an orgasm?
My favourite toy is my primary tool for getting there. But I have a couple others that I don’t rely on too much because, believe it or not, they are just too good at making me cum. My fear here is that those ones may desensitize me to anything else. Both of them are of the infamous Sex & The City turbo rabbit style … and for any woman out there wondering, they are spectacular. Just don’t spoil yourself.
If you want to catch me in action and see exactly what I mean, slip on over here. I cum a lot on there.
How many times a week do you try to reach an orgasm?
It varies. As much as I would love to give the impression that my life is purely a sexual amusement park, the truth is some days I am feeling it and other days I’m not. I am more about trying to have quality orgasms. As funny as that sounds, I think it is true that some are just better than others – such as masturbating because my imagination has completely taken over my libido and masturbating to relax and try fall asleep. Both are good, but one requires a little mental commitment.
Have you ever had an orgasm at the same time as your partner? Who normally cums first?
Every so often this is something we try to accomplish. Most of the time though, one of us goes off first – and that depends on the occasion. I am lucky because my husband loves to watch me orgasm, and usually wants me to experience that pleasure first. He says there is something exceptionally hot about fucking a pussy that has cum. It’s one of his kinks … and I’m not about to complain.
Can you have multiples?
Yes, multiple orgasms are something that I can achieve. Most of the time I am good for two per really horny session, occasionally three.
How long does it normally take for you to reach orgasm?
Good ques …. ti …. uuhhhh …. onnnnn.
Actually, like you, for me it varies for a whole bunch of reasons. Mostly it depends on the connection between my mind and my body. Sometimes I can coax one out in no time, and then other times I need to spend a bit of time getting into the zone. If I am especially horny that day it can be over in a couple minutes.
One other thing to consider is sometimes I want it to last. I want to build the fantasy in my mind that is going to get me there and let it all play out. A lot of guys I know rely on the visual fantasy that porn brings them, I like using my imagination.
Have you ever faked one?
Actually, yes I have. And there has been a few different reasons – and circumstances – as to why. The one that really stands out as I write this occurred shortly
Normally I just lie back and let the guy do his thing. If he’s happy and things work out, then I don’t dwell on if I’ve managed to reach an orgasm. For me, there is just as much in the experience with the closeness and love that can be shared through being intimate. After the birth of my kids, things were a bit different physically with me, and it not only affected how my body reacted, but also my libido. The inability to enjoy things the same as before kids was a very difficult, emotional thing to overcome.
My husband was performing a little oral activity on me and no matter how hard I tried to keep my mind in the moment, trying to bring my orgasm out, things just went on…and on. I was getting self-conscious and just “pretended” so we could move on … not for his benefit, but to hide my disappointment at how my body was now different. I can’t tell you how awful I felt afterwards. When I finally had the nerve – much later – to tell him, I was an emotional wreck.
But, despite it all, this experience just became another chance for us to talk about our sex life and keep things real. As a couple, we learned to find the best ways to make sure we felt the passion, desire, connection in those moments. No, I don’t get my “O” every time. But I get a closeness with my husband, knowing we have been able to keep the talk going and not keep secrets from each other. That’s so much more important.
Something intriguing came my way recently; a friend sent me an article that said the fashion world was celebrating the 50th anniversary of the miniskirt. It seems a little hard to believe that it has been that long, but at the same time, they are so common these days that it seems almost more out of place to wear anything below the knee.
What was first considered scandalous is now standard faire in offices, schools and clubs. As women began to gain confidence – and fashion trends evolved – the shock value disappeared. Of course, it helps that most young women today have never lived through a dramatic change in social acceptance based on clothing design. Well, except maybe the 80s.
Of course, “mini” is open to interpretation. Fashion expert Amy Lu says four inches above the knee is the ideal length to show style and just enough leg to attract the right kind of attention; four inches below the bum … well, maybe a bit too short unless you have some ulterior motives in mind.
As you know, each Monday I bring you a little peek into my miniskirt choices, some designed with work in mind, others definitely “porn photos only.” For me, I can’t say that I am specifically a dedcated fan … it’s just that I’m that vertically-challenged that I can’t wear anything but short hems. Any hem at or below my knee tends to make me appear a little stubby … the reality of being 5’1″.