Monthly Archives: August 2012
Anyone who drove past me on the way to work this morning must have been thinking I had lost my mind. I was laughing and giggling for most of my drive, and then continued to do so most of the day.
On the radio, the morning show jocks were talking about if people had ever caught their parents in an intimate moment. The whole conversation had started following a clip from a recent interview that guitarist Slash had given, stating when he was a young boy, he caught his mother and David Bowie together, naked.
Now, for me, moving past the “ick” factor in this story, the listeners’ comments that followed were the ones that had me giggling. The one host explained that when he was five, he walked in on his Mom and Dad in their bedroom and his father was standing on a step stool, with Mom in front of him. They told the young boy they were changing a light bulb … despite both being totally naked.
Uh huh …
Personally, I never caught my parents in that kind of a situation … and I firmly believe I am much better off for it.
And as a parent, I can’t say that I have been “caught” by my kids, but there have been a few close calls. In our house – not so much lately, but definitely recently – I would have sworn that the sound of my vibrator was like a dog whistle for children. As soon as it came out of the drawer and was turned on, little footsteps would bound up the stairs, pretty much bringing any potential for an orgasm to a sudden stop.
But I think where I differ from my own parents is that I am very open and honest with my children; especially when it comes to relationships between adults. These days they understand that a closed bedroom door is meant for privacy – regardless of the time of day. And when they have asked, I have not made up bizarre stories about chiropractic needs or auditioning for professional wrestling.
My parents were somewhat honest with my siblings and I about how a marriage worked, so we kind of knew that certain intimacies existed. It was a positive environment and has allowed me to be successful in my own marriage. My hubby, I think, would rather not be involved with the conversation when I explain things to my kids – but accepts that it is better they know the truth and not have a twisted sense of a relationship that suggests babies come from storks.
Children get enough mixed messages in their lives – way more than we ever did; and we were exposed even more so than our parents to a confusing storm of what it means to be a sexual being. I just think subjecting them to “little white lies” is not helping them see through the mire … especially when they really need to have positive role models on how to make a marriage work.
Another Tuesday means another week of sharing too much information with you guys. Sadly this week will be a bit short, as the subject doesn’t really touch on any of my experiences. Call me sheltered … but I will still give it a good try and leave you with something interesting to think about.
The folks at TMI Tuesday want to know a little about how we “get off” and our “booty call” habits. So, with those ideas all hooked up in my mind, I hope you’re not too disappointed with what you don’t learn this week.
To me, a booty call is something that happens between two people who are not necessarily romantically connected, so with that in mind, no I haven’t. But if you think of a booty call as just a sexual hook-up between two people who may be dating … but on that specific occasion are only getting together that night just to get laid, yes.
Kind of the same answer as above … depending on your definition of booty call.
This is something that seems to just orbit around my current sexual adventure. In our exploring of our desires and fantasies, my husband and I have dabbled closely with trying to take things to the “friends with benefits” level, but it has never truly reached that point.
Um … I wish I could, but I have never had a one-night stand.
Sadly, see above …
It’s a little hard to imagine how this counts as grimy and dirty, but I would have to say the family boathouse. My family owns a small boat house about an hour and a half from where I live, it’s big enough to fit my father’s bass boat but not much more. And since there isn’t any services down there – such as toilet or hydro – it isn’t a constant destination for me. Back when I was dating my hubby, we used to spend a lot more time going out on the boat, for obvious reasons, and I know we did it at least a few times in the boat house too – among the ancient fishing line and poles hanging on the wall, the cobwebs and recycled jugs, worm cans and old tackle boxes.
A dangerous question … I’m not sure I want them to know too much for fear of being judged. Now, you’re likely to say friends wouldn’t do that, but I’m no longer that naive. We all judge, even our closest friends and family. That said, the one thing I wish more people knew about me is that I am actually a very approachable person. I’m not sure why, but for most of my life, people have tended to be gravitate towards my friends and kind of surreptitiously gotten to know me. Also, that I really don’t mind being alone every now and then. I find it somewhat intriguing how people find it awkward to observe someone enjoying a moment alone … such as dining alone at a restaurant.
Oh … and that I’m not kidding when I say my husband does the majority of my clothes shopping. And that I really do find those “old-fashioned” stockings a sexy way to have some fun at work. Ok, maybe not that last part too much. That would definitely be a bit too much information for them to know about me!
As you know, last week I was away on my summer vacation. It also happened to coincide with the 20th anniversary of when my husband proposed to me. So, as I was digging around in some of the notes and questions that I had been sent, this one also kind of fell into place.
A while back, probably after one of my diatribes about making a marriage work, someone asked me what I thought were the major factors to a lasting relationship. I’ve been in mine now for 22 years … and not that it makes me any sort of expert, just someone who likes a challenging topic to write about on these quiet summer nights when I know you guys will be stopping around for a sexy Miniskirt Monday pic in the morning.
I would say, the major factors – because there are so many, and each relationship has varying degrees of depth to them – would be the following:
Trusting each other to do the right thing for the relationship, the family, the longevity of the relationship, and the person. Trust is one of the hardest things to earn … and one of the easiest things to lose in any relationship.
Being good friends is extremely important in the development of a relationship and adds to the foundation of trust. That’s not to say you have to be identical, with identical interests, but you have to “like” your partner, as well as “love.” There is a big difference. I’m lucky because I married my best friend, and that friendship has grown even stronger.
Without honesty, there can be no trust. It is the cornerstone of a lasting relationship. And while everyone has secrets, there’s a big difference in hiding, say, an affair and hiding the receipts from your last dress-shopping excursion. The important part is having the ability to communicate and share the differences in ideas, desires and dreams.
You need to have a heart, and understanding and a willingness to open yourself up when most vulnerable.
Really, I think this goes without saying. It’s the mortar that holds the foundation in place. I could never be with someone that did not respect who I am, and be supportive of my ambitions, dreams and goals.
For me this is important. On the surface, I may look like a pretty average hockey mom/housewife to people, but I relish adventure and it plays a huge role in defining who I am. Without my partner sharing my sense of adventure, the relationship could not evolve constantly. Not to mention how dull life would be without it.
Whew … my brain hurts now.
This is probably one topic that could keep going around and around as I get deeper and deeper into my sexual adventure. And while it has been a marvelous 10 years of exploring, gradually experimenting and experiencing new things, I am continually amazed at both what I learn from other people in terms of fetishes, and how my own kinks and sexual quirks seemingly evolve along the way.
I can’t say that any of mine border even close to some of those truly outrageous requests I have gotten through my website and videos over the past decade … some of which still leave me scratching my head. I think mine are relatively tame and yet still sexy enough to be intriguing and maybe a bit unusual among my offline circle of friends. Naturally, I am making a bit of an assumption there, as I don’t really know what goes on behind their bedroom doors.
So when this Formspring question made an appearance, I thought “I have an answer to that!”
Quite a while back I wrote about how I was learning to really understand what it is men like about women in stockings. For photographic reasons, I was quite comfortable with wearing them, along with the more modern version, thigh highs. But other than my wedding day, and a few steamy date nights, I had not really explored the idea of wearing hosiery as such, as part of my office attire.
And while it is something that always proves to be a worthwhile fashion choice – given the reactions it produces at home and at work – like all good fetishes, moderation is the key in keeping it exciting and erotic each time. I think if I wore them everyday, or at least every time I dressed up for work or a date, it may get a little too expected. Part of why it is a favourite fetish is the reaction of the guys, not just the ideas in my own mind.
I have definitely come to appreciate the sideways glances, and occasional downright stare, that I get from the guys I work with. Unlike some women who might see that as a precursor to sexual harassment, I’m thrilled – and somewhat turned on – but the knowledge that they consider me worthy of their lusty looks. I certainly can’t complain when the whole idea is very much planned and expected on my behalf.
I think that is a big part of why I see it as being different from being “objectified.” I set out with a teasing, flirting scheme in mind … trying to be coy on my own to catch the men around me sneaking a peek. And if our eyes happen to meet, I try to give them a knowing little look that says I’m thrilled they noticed and flattered.
And even though the guys may never know if there is a garter belt holding those stockings up, or if I’m jammed into some tortuous control tops, I can’t say I get the same personal feelings from pantyhose … they are just something that I could never feel comfortable in. But stockings, and the occasional romp in thigh highs, make me feel sexy and attractive.
That’s why right now, they are among my favourite fetishes. And, if you really like to see how it plays out, don’t miss my latest update … it’s exactly what this blog is all about!
Hey there! I mentioned that this week would be a bit of a crazy week for me to try to update. I’m enjoying my vacation right now, trying to behave like a responsible parent while my kids run wild…oh well, they’re young and if you can’t have fun while you’re young, when can you have fun.
This week’s TMI Tuesday takes you back into my bedroom, where all the fun takes place and some of my preferences for when things get a little crazy adult-style.
I have never been someone that has enjoyed pain as part of my sex life. There are certain degrees of “pain” that occasionally happen – such as the first few minutes of anal sex when my body is adjusting to the act and the sensations of pleasure take over, but not like those fetish ideas of being hit, whipped, restrained or humiliated. Sex in my life is very much about the pursuit of pleasure … all the time.
I am ticklish, but I can assure you that it is not something that I remotely enjoy during sex. In fact, being tickled is something that usually pisses me off … so, when you get right down to it, it’s definitely a turn-off for me.
I can’t specifically think of a time when feathers were part of my sex life. Now, that is not to say that I haven’t enjoyed a moment or two when something very similar was used. Not long after I had finished the Fifty Shades trilogy, my husband planned a night of sexual teasing and “torture” for me. He had bought a dog leash and collar, which he attached to the bed and then told me to wear around my neck to restrain my head to the bed. He then used our bondage restraints on my wrists and ankles, adding a blindfold to the mix. From there he began to torment me with a soft makeup brush, around my nipples, my face, my clit … it was delightful and erotic.
I don’t mind using a blindfold during the occasional sex session. It can be very erotic, especially when combined with some of the mind-fuck tactics that my husband likes to tease me with when I am in that particular situation. I think by removing one sense, the others become much more heightened. Add to that the impact it can have on the imagination, it is extremely exciting and erotic.
Hmm, would it be too cliche to say I bring the heat? I know … cheesy at best. But there was one time not that long ago when we experimented with some ice that proved to be both erotic and chilly. My hubby had bought me a bit of a gag gift – a cock-shaped mold for making a rather large ice cube. By large I mean around five inches, so on par with an actual man. One night we were looking for something to make a photo session to be a bit more interesting and we brought out the frozen cock. It was an incredibly unusual sensation to have that ice cold cock sliding all the way into me … although the contrast of having my husband’s hot tongue and lips on me at the same time was incredible. Not something I would repeat too often – I don’t like having an “ice cream headache” in my pussy – but it was unusual and enjoyable on a very steamy and humid summer night.
Spanking is not something that is part of my sex life.
When my husband and I first started to experiment in the swinging lifestyle, we came up with a safeword to use in the event that we felt things needed to slow down. As the whole experience was something exceptionally new to us, we had no idea what to expect. I have used it once in the time we have been on this sexual adventure together.
As I mentioned, pain is a very limited aspect of my sex life. Now, to limit the pleasurable experience to just one moment would be very hard. And while I’m sure you guys are tired of hearing about the adventure, my rendezvous with my friend has got to be the most recent experience that ranks highly.