Monthly Archives: October 2012
Wasn’t that the title of the last Monkees’ song? I think it was …
I have to admit, I am someone who spends a lot of time reflecting on the path I have taken to reach this point in my life. Like many of you, I’m sure, there are certain events and moments that I wish I could go back to and do differently.
|Andee @ 18 years old|
And I don’t mind saying that there are many times when I think “I wish I knew then, what I know now.”
The important part, however, is recognizing that I have reached a point in my life where I am happy with how things have turned out. I could gripe about the little extra padding around my middle, or the grey hairs; but overall, I am very content with my life and recognize that I have a lot of good things going for me.
This week for TMI Tuesday, we’re looking at that road, and the events that got us to where we are…so, thank you to the TMI Tuesday reader who submitted the following THEN AND NOW questions. He wanted to remain anonymous.
1. What one part of your sex life today would most surprise the 17 year old you?
Given the fact that I was already one year into a relationship with the man that would be my husband, I’m not sure there is anything that I can point to and say “I would have never thought…” However, not to be too presumptuous, I think the most surprising thing is how open and experimental our sex life is. I have often said to my husband that there is so much we have experienced together that I likely would have never explored if it weren’t for him. I’m not sure I would have ever made the leap to turn my bi-curious thoughts into bisexual experience. Nor can I say that I would have had to courage to let a lot of my own kinks come out had it not been for him.
Another part that really stands out is how my 17-year old self was surprised at how enthusiastic my now-hubby was to perform oral sex on me. At that age, I had the distinct impression that it was a chore men had to endure in order to get some back. I had almost adopted that attitude until my husband showed me the joy of giving and receiving oral sex. Now seeing a guy’s eyes roll back in his head as I take him into my mouth is almost enough to send me over the edge.
Also these days, with the support and encouragement of my husband, I have been allowed to openly delve into those fantasies and uncover a side of me that has always been something just a little repressed given my Catholic upbringing. Just another little surprise I never expected.
2. What one thing might shock that younger you?
Hmm … in reality, it’s hard to narrow it down because there are quite a few experiences that I would have never predicted or imagined would happen in my life. But the one thing I’m shocked about is how much I enjoy being sexy. I grew up in a small town and I was given to understand that purposefully trying to look sexy meant you were a slut. I am eternally grateful to my hubby for bringing out my tastefully sexy side … and occasional slutty side too. He is always trying to get me to test my comfort zone and I’ll admit that I have to put my foot down sometimes, but its always worth it when he can’t keep his hands off me.
3. What part of the younger you’s (not necessarily at age 17) sex life do you look back on with the most nostalgia?
I definitely look back at my younger body with envy. The photo above really was taken when I was 18 and just beginning to discover a whole new adventure in life. With my more mature self and my younger body I could be an absolute siren. I also miss the “carpe diem” attitude of sex from back then – just finding a secluded spot to do it in … taking my lunch break in high school to indulge in a nooner and then spending the rest of the day sitting in the classroom daydreaming about the sexy sensation of him between my legs. Or making out and heavy petting in the back seat of a car at the drive-in … kind of like a typical summer rock song. Sadly, some of that is lost as we get older and no longer have the convenience of dropping responsibilities to just fuck. Kids also can spoil the moment in a real hurry.
The thing about youth is that it’s meant to be a time of discovery. Being 17 and knowing what I know now … that could have been extremely dangerous!
4. Is there anything in the younger you’s sexual ambitions or fantasies you have not yet fulfilled?
Most definitely there are still some fantasies that exist from my younger days that I have not yet fulfilled – some of which just won’t ever happen regardless.
Bonus: Give your 17-year old self a piece of sexual advice.
- Don’t be so afraid of what others think.
- Do what makes you feel good.
- Feel free to brag to your girlfriends.
- Marry your best friend.
And there you go … four basic points to say, live your own life and don’t be a passenger.
For some guys, today is a pretty special day – it’s National Stockings Day in England, a day sponsored by Charnos Hosiery designed to raise awareness and money for breast cancer awareness. For anyone who is interested in following my own antics for the day, catch up with me on Twitter. I have a few really sexy stockings pics that will be posted throughout the day to help make it a bit more interesting for you.
Of course, the idea of me wearing stockings also fits into today’s blog theme – something that popped up a while back in my Formspring questions.
What is the most unusual sexual experience you’ve ever had?
Are stockings really that unusual? Probably not for a lot of people; and really not so much for me when we just consider wearing them for something like my website or to make a video for you. But for me to push the limits of my comfort zone and introduce them as part of my work-related wardrobe … that was exceptionally unusual (and sexual) for me.
If you remember back to what I wrote at the time, I think it really still sums up my thoughts:
Of course, almost all of what opened the door on this was one of the other most unusual sexual experiences in my life: having an adult website …
This is something that I would have never anticipated ever indulging in, but has certain been a big motivator and enabler in my sexual adventure. It has given me the confidence and fueled my desire to explore and push the limits.
I can’t say that something like that would be for everyone – and, honestly, I’m thankful it’s not.
Other things that come to mind, but may be best saved for a future blog, would include:
- Going to the swingers clubs … that is way outside my comfort zone …
- Finally finding the courage to turn my bi-curious status to bisexual …
- My afternoon rendezvous with my Office Guy … that is just something that I don’t do, so for me that is beyond the limits.
Having wrapped my brain around all of this though, the reality is I like the unusual side of life. It’s what makes everything so interesting … especially the sex!
Every now and then, I get an email from someone who is rather curious about what my future sex life might have in store. I’ve always tried to be an open book about my sex life and my past decade of discovery and exploration. While I have many fantasies – some of which will just never logistically come together – there still isn’t an awful lot that I plan in advance.
I’m not sure if it’s sexual spontaneity or occasional peaks of courage, but most often a great deal of my adventure and experience comes in spurts. I’m sure a lot of it has to deal with the insane schedule I keep offline as well. Sometimes, no matter how much you would like, life just can’t be pinned down into a schedule.
The one question that comes my way quite a bit is that of when visitors to my website might see me with some interracial action.
This request leaves me with two possible thoughts:
Being married makes it complicated
Any realistic sexual opportunity for me involves a second party – my husband. I’m not out there to uncover all these wild experiences just for the sake of saying “been there, bought the hotwife anklet.” So, for me to actively seek someone who is going to join us for any kind of encounter, it becomes a complicated situation … especially because I’m not looking to fulfill anything in particular just for the sake of saying I have.
As a couple we have dabbled in the “swinging” lifestyle on a few occasions – with mixed results. It can be rather difficult to find someone who has the appeal to both of us. It’s not necessarily the idea that we’re both going to dive right into some orgasmic sexual tryst, but there needs to be a level of chemistry between all parties.
I’m all about personality
There are some women out there that seemingly focus on fulfilling their BBC fantasy strictly for the sake of fulfilling a BBC fantasy. Which I’m sure for them is a marvelous experience. But I’m not that kind of woman. Sexual exploration for me needs to be beyond a stereotype and beyond a pop culture porn niche. Going against my twisted sense of sexual morality just to shoot some videos or a few photo sets hasn’t been my traditional routine in my own porn venture.
Any man – or woman for that matter – that we invite into our sex life has to be someone that both my husband and I connect with emotionally. So, in essence, looking for someone who falls into a specific demographic isn’t who we are. Looking for someone we can have fun with and share a future “friend with benefits” relationship is far more important.
I know, I know … I promised that I would actually be creating some new blog updates for you. I think I have some cool ideas to work through, so hopefully in no time I will be past my little spot of blogger’s block.
So, as we round the week to another Tuesday, my “go to” blog update revolves around sharing far too much information about myself with you. Well, actually, it’s not usually too much information when it comes to my naughty thoughts. Apparently most of you can’t get enough of that kind of stuff!
Thank you to Erotic Adventures in Brisneyland for the theme of this week’s TMI Tuesday.
1. Have you ever had a friendship with a someone where you secretly (or not so secretly) desired them?
Absolutely … and it’s going on right now. The amusing part of it all is that I’m rarely very subtle about my lust, but only because it is an awful lot of fun to tease, torment and flirt with that object of my attention. It’s not very often that we get to see grown men squirm uncomfortably these days – especially when the teasing and flirting is exactly what they want, but the fear within is the moral torment they have to deal with. At least in my case, anyway.
2. Are you prone to jealousy, suspicion or insecurity when your partner spends time with an attractive close friend without you? Why?
I’m not, but I know that my husband has a small streak of jealousy that occasionally rears its ugly head. I think that jealousy is a waste of energy and effort, but at the same time, try to be relatively patient and reassuring. To a certain degree, it is a natural part of a relationship when the boundaries are pushed; not that it is healthy. Some people struggle with internal issues and find that blind trust can be a challenge. But jealousy is generally rooted in myth … at least in my experience. But sometimes truth … especially when honesty isn’t always at the forefront.
3. Has a previously platonic friendship ever bloomed into a sexual relationship?
No, but some of my sexual relationships have turned into platonic relationships … particularly those that occurred during my husband and I’s little exploration of the swinging lifestyle.
4. Have you ever remained close friends with an ex-lover?
Not with anyone from my pre-marriage monogamous relationships. No matter how you look at it, sometimes there is just no way that you can let that much water flow under the bridge.
Bonus: Have you ever developed feelings for a “friend with benefits”? How did it develop, unfold, resolve?
Hmm…well, the whole “friend with benefits” situation is still relatively new and elusive for me. To a certain degree, there really is only one that fits into that category right now and the relationship is somewhat complicated these days; as my friend struggles with what he really wants and what keeps him from pursuing what he really wants.
How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link to tmituesdayblog from your website!