Category Archives: Pantyhose
My friend, Miles, shared this article with me that appeared in a trashy women’s magazine – you know, the one that considers “How to please your man in bed” and “Keep him interested with this month’s sex tips” to be journalism. However, that said, occasionally they do have articles worth reading.
The article my friend shared was a personal perspective from a fairly well-known ‘amateur’ Internet model about how it feels to pose naked. Obviously, I was intrigued; because as someone who does that kind of thing every now and then, I like to discover what others think of the act.
While the piece was well-written, and described how this particular model set out to find photographers, locations and themes, it didn’t really cover the reality that many of us in the amateur porn business share. Her experience was more of a self-directed Playboy lifestyle as opposed to the challenges that those of us who have amateur adult websites truly face. Most of us don’t have the ability/freedom/social condition that allows us to become a somewhat low-grade pin-up girl. “Amateur” to a lot of our fans truly means no $1,000 lighting, make-up artists, costume designers and pimped out hot rods or Harleys to sprawl over. And for the money most of us actually do make, we’re not exactly liquid enough to pay the crew.
And then there is the emotional side. I would never recommend this adventure to anyone; it must be an absolutely individual choice. It’s not like trying a new restaurant – it’s a “you can never take it back” exploit. The writer described her experience of one with almost romantic nuances. She missed out on the constant fear of being outted: the impact it may have on your career, you children and your marriage. Not to mention the guilt that still surfaces even after 13 years of posing naked.
However, it was interesting to read how she discovered that there are fetishes for just about every taste – but she didn’t expand on how vile some of them can be. Instead, she chose to expand on how she found herself gravitating to foot fetish crowd. It’s a fairly safe fetish community, same with the guys who love pantyhose, wet clothing, etc. Some fetishes are playful, fun and curious. She failed to mention the ones where guys want us to shit and piss in our panties and spread it all over, or the female pedophilia, incest and ‘pretend’ snuff.
The more prevalent experience that those of us in the amateur porn business face isn’t close to her “New York glamour.” We cope with online harassment almost daily, disgusting requests for things I would never have ever imagined could be sexually stimulating, fraud, copyright infringement and judgement. A lot of that aspect of being an amateur model is why I rarely bother with email anymore. I prefer the succinctness of Twitter – and its ability to block the offensive from my life.
The wives and girlfriends can be fun too. I’ve written before about how I’ve been threatened, accused of causing divorce and being a homewrecker … all because their partner happened to enjoy my photos and videos. At first, it took me by surprise. But over time I learned to laugh at it and recognize there are bigger issues in those relationships than a few images of me in lingerie left on someone’s hard drive.
Most of us accept what comes our way as the cost of pursuing something we find titillating and exciting. But I don’t think a lot of us ever consider the real cost of what it means to our lives; and those around us. Not that they would, but because of my hobby, no one in my family could ever pursue a political career.
When you get into amateur porn, you also have to become well-versed in copyright laws. It doesn’t take long to discover your photos will appear everywhere on the Internet, almost exclusively without permission. I’m fortunate in being part of the Southern Charms community in that we have a very aggressive copyright infringement team and seasoned lawyers to minimize the impact; but you can never stop it all. Sites like Tumblr, Blogger and the multitude of discussion boards, torrents, rapid share, etc. make it extremely difficult to protect your image and brand from theft.
That’s the primary reason why I stopped participating in online chats. Although I enjoyed connecting with the guys online, and having some time to be someone other than a Mom, wife and career woman, it just became easier to stop altogether and tell people “if you’re talking to ‘Andee’ you’re not talking to the real me.”
I would have never imagined there would be people out there who would want to pretend to be me and mislead guys into cybering/chatting/picture sharing/etc.
But there is … and they do. Still.
So, nice little rant to refresh my blog with … but let me end with this: while I rant about the content behind the article, I admire the writer for sharing it. Whether you have wonderful success as a professional ‘amateur’ model like her, or are the lowly wife-looking-to-spice-it-up like me, it takes a lot of courage to pose naked. You life changes immediately – and in ways you may not be considering as you roll your panties down over your knees for the first time on camera.
But, make no mistake, I chose to do this – and have to accept the bad that comes with the good.
Hey there! I know not everyone could join in last Friday for my first-ever Twitter chat, so I have archived the questions for those who wanted to catch up with what people asked me, and some of the answers I gave. I think I’ll definitely do this again, probably in the fall, so that should give you lots of time to come up with some intriguing questions to throw my way.
To help add a bit of context to some of my answers – especially since Twitter only lets you use 140 characters, I’ve included some links to previous thoughts and ideas on some of the topics that came up. Hope you enjoy!
Something that never fails to turn me on? Kissing. A hot, lots of tongue, passionate kiss always hits me between the thighs
Do you have a favorite part of foreplay?
Foreplay favourite? Toughie…either the build up with oral #sex, or when a man uses his long, probing fingers in/on me
Foreplay and engaging the mind is a huge key in great sex…the imagination is your greatest sex toy @StayGoldJersey
What’s your favorite position?
Favourite position? Hands down, I am a doggystyle sex girl. Love, love, love getting it from behind and bent over.
Have you ever dated someone famous?
Famous boyfriends? Not really, although hubby’s former job was very public and he was/is somewhat well-known
If you divorced, would you consider marriage again?
Re-marry? Don’t think I would…but I’d definitely be enjoying singlehood and exploring the idea of friends with benefits
Is there anything you’d change about your looks with plastic surgery if you could afford it?
Plastic surgery? Only thing I’d consider would be having the girls done…not bigger, but put back to the way they used to be
@AndeeSC2 Please don’t let them mess with your nipples. Biggest mistake by women is to let the surgeon cut into them.
I’m doubtful I would ever have the girls done anyway…better things to invest my money in right now @StayGoldJersey
What is the kinkiest thing you have done with yourself?
Kinky self-fun? Nothing outrageous, but I have an affection for long-neck wine bottles and the vibration of a Dyson vacuum
Do you ever wake up your hubby with oral sex?
Oral sex wake up? I have in the past…not a frequent occasion; I prefer things like waking him up with a BJ to be unique
Like least about porn: the fear and reality of having to tell my children someday when the find out @pleasure_spot
What do you like most about doing amateur porn?
Like most about doing porn: the sexual discovery, the adventure and spice it has brought to my marriage (and the attention) @pleasure_spot
Was it your idea to start doing porn, or hubby’s?
Idea to start porn? My husband first brought up the idea, on a dare…I lost, pics posted, started to like the results/attention @pleasure_spot
@AndeeSC2 I never would have guessed you got into this on a dare. Did you already have exhibitionist tendencies?
@pleasure_spot I’ve always been a bit daring… and comfortable in front of the camera. Things grew from there and I kind of enjoyed it
Does your husband ever get jealous?
Does hubby get jealous? Quite the opposite, he loves showing me off and seeing the attention from my fans @pleasure_spot
Will you and hubby ever try “swinging” again?
Swinging again? He’s game. I’ll never say never, it didn’t work out for us the first time…but I still have many curiosities!
@AndeeSC2 I’ve never partook in the activity but I believe the majority of women would be more into #strange then men.
@StayGoldJersey My experience in swinging has shown me that it tends to be a woman in control atmosphere.
@AndeeSC2 Just like in the street, guys better act right or they’re going home with their hand. #truth
How encouraging is/was your hubby in your website?
Hubby and my site? He’s very much a big partner in the whole crime, and I wouldn’t do it without his support and involvement @pleasure_spot
How often do you and hubby indulge in anal sex
Anal sex? Not very often. Depending on the moment, there is sometimes a bit of play, but not penetration very much. @BIGRICHIE7
How long do you plan on being a Southern Charm?
How much longer a Charm? I have no plans to give up my site yet; enjoying the fun & spice it brings to my marriage. @BIGRICHIE7
Can I name one of my sex toys Big Richie?
Naming my sex toys: I don’t actually have nicknames for any of them other than “Oh, my god that’s huge!” LOL @BIGRICHIE7
Do you enjoy sex outside under the moonlight?
Outdoor sex at night? It’s extremely romantic and I have a few times in the past made love under the moonlight. @BIGRICHIE
Do you enjoy giving massage and tug jobs?
Handjobs isn’t something I’ve been awarded any prizes for…word is I give great oral, so I stick with that talent @StayGoldJersey
Favourite lingerie? Right now, my favourite is in my update 428 – sexy red piece from a friend, great stockings @iankeegan27_ian
What is the most public place you have had sex? Given a blowjob?
Public sex? Hmm…pressed against a hotel window overlooking the Las Vegas strip @StayGoldJersey
It was very erotic for me, knowing that if someone looked up, they would see…Vegas being Vegas 😉 @StayGoldJersey
Public blowjob? Driving on the highway is probably the most public, if you looked into the car. @StayGoldJersey
What position is the easiest for you to achieve an orgasm?
Orgasm position? I’m one of those women that needs help, so missionary with my vibrating toy or an amazing tongue @StayGoldJersey
After your first orgasm, is it easy for you to have multiple orgasms?
Multiple orgasms? Used to be easier before kids…but I’m usually good to get another one or two out with help @StayGoldJersey
Are you a loud, dirty talker during sex?
Loud and dirty? Not really…having kids had calmed the volume…but I enjoy good dirty sexy talk @iankeegan27_ian
How often do you have sex?
How often do I have sex? It varies on what life dishes out. An average would be 7-10 times per month @iankeegan27_ian
Where is your favourite place for a man to cum?
Fav place for cum? Love feeling a man deep inside me, but I also enjoy having him cum in my mouth @iankeegan27_ian
What do you like most about your body?
What do I like most about my body? My eyes always get compliments…my legs…but for porn, whatever draws fans! @iankeegan27_ian
Pantyhose? always found them uncomfy, being short, never fit…hubby introduced me to stockings, which I prefer. @silversurfera1
Never really liked them…being short means they rarely fit properly. Thigh highs and stockings produce better reactions @silversurfera1
Have you had sex with anyone other than your husband since you got married?
Since I have been married, the only thing I have done with anyone else has been #oral #askandee @iankeegan27_ian
Sex with someone else while married? Only women…no guys…but we’re not saying it’s off the table 😉 @StayGoldJersey
I say “not off the table” but the reality is, there has to be chemistry for me. Not looking for just a hookup @StayGoldJersey
Have you ever had sex with a member or fan of your site?
Slept with a fan/member? No, I’m happily married and don’t use my site as a way to hook-up. Some do, just not me. @iankeegan27_ian
Do you ever let your fans take you out?
Dating fans? I tried a “meet me” contest a couple times; didn’t really work out that well…might be geography @iankeegan27_ian
And honestly, I’m not adverse to the idea of meeting fans, but it would have to in the right setting and context @iankeegan27_ian
Guys think that because I have my website that I am easy and looking for sex…which is far from the truth @iankeegan27_ian
@silversurfera1 Some people just have a twisted idea of why some women are OK with doing porn
@AndeeSC2 @iankeegan27_ian I imagine it’s hard for people to understand the “dualism” involved with doing an adult site & your “normal” life
I think you nailed it there… and there is even “dualism” in doing a site, amateur versus professional @silversurfera1
So, setting would be public, chaperoned without question and no guarantee of anything but a friendly conversation @iankeegan27_ian
And there you, the best snippets and questions from my first #askandee Twitter chat. Hope you’ll join me again in the fall for my next one!
This is probably one topic that could keep going around and around as I get deeper and deeper into my sexual adventure. And while it has been a marvelous 10 years of exploring, gradually experimenting and experiencing new things, I am continually amazed at both what I learn from other people in terms of fetishes, and how my own kinks and sexual quirks seemingly evolve along the way.
I can’t say that any of mine border even close to some of those truly outrageous requests I have gotten through my website and videos over the past decade … some of which still leave me scratching my head. I think mine are relatively tame and yet still sexy enough to be intriguing and maybe a bit unusual among my offline circle of friends. Naturally, I am making a bit of an assumption there, as I don’t really know what goes on behind their bedroom doors.
So when this Formspring question made an appearance, I thought “I have an answer to that!”
Quite a while back I wrote about how I was learning to really understand what it is men like about women in stockings. For photographic reasons, I was quite comfortable with wearing them, along with the more modern version, thigh highs. But other than my wedding day, and a few steamy date nights, I had not really explored the idea of wearing hosiery as such, as part of my office attire.
And while it is something that always proves to be a worthwhile fashion choice – given the reactions it produces at home and at work – like all good fetishes, moderation is the key in keeping it exciting and erotic each time. I think if I wore them everyday, or at least every time I dressed up for work or a date, it may get a little too expected. Part of why it is a favourite fetish is the reaction of the guys, not just the ideas in my own mind.
I have definitely come to appreciate the sideways glances, and occasional downright stare, that I get from the guys I work with. Unlike some women who might see that as a precursor to sexual harassment, I’m thrilled – and somewhat turned on – but the knowledge that they consider me worthy of their lusty looks. I certainly can’t complain when the whole idea is very much planned and expected on my behalf.
I think that is a big part of why I see it as being different from being “objectified.” I set out with a teasing, flirting scheme in mind … trying to be coy on my own to catch the men around me sneaking a peek. And if our eyes happen to meet, I try to give them a knowing little look that says I’m thrilled they noticed and flattered.
And even though the guys may never know if there is a garter belt holding those stockings up, or if I’m jammed into some tortuous control tops, I can’t say I get the same personal feelings from pantyhose … they are just something that I could never feel comfortable in. But stockings, and the occasional romp in thigh highs, make me feel sexy and attractive.
That’s why right now, they are among my favourite fetishes. And, if you really like to see how it plays out, don’t miss my latest update … it’s exactly what this blog is all about!
Is it something you are growing tired of hearing about?
As you know, over the past couple months I have acquired a whole new appreciation for the very “old-fashioned” fashion of stockings and garters. I understand that when it comes to edgy style, this idea may not rank quite that high, but I am fascinated by how much something relatively not-so-cutting-edge can send men into a drooling tizzy.
I have thought, perhaps, a super-short skirt would be the thing. Or sky-high stilettos. And I’m sure those are, but when it comes to the very real workplace – you know, that crazy concept that actually pays the bills – neither of those are options for me. I don’t work in fashion, nor anywhere with a brass pole. My reality is a multicultural, conservative, policy-driven environment that frowns upon overt sexuality.
And truth be told, my real-life bravery isn’t even on the same map as what you enjoy here.
The amazing attention that has been bestowed on me during the times I have worn them is something I gobble up with gusto. I wholeheartedly admit that it has been an marvelous boost for my ego. My online friend Matt is mostly to blame for it all. He has been a huge supporter of mine for a long time and he is a big fan of stockings and garters. After I had taken a few photo sets with the stockings and garters Matt sent to me as a gift, my husband said “It would really be a shame if you only wore his gifts in photo updates.”
From there, this part of my adventure opened up. And I suspect some might think this is no big deal, but for this slightly shy science geek, stepping out of any part of my comfort zone is an experience.
One morning, I woke up before my husband, walked into the bathroom and proceeded to get ready for my day at work. Like I often do, I had set out my outfit for the day, so that I wouldn’t need to disturb him while he slept. I found a little note from him stuck inside the dress I was planning to wear, along with the stockings and garterbelt. The whole thing was worth it the moment my husband walked into the kitchen to say goodbye to me before I left for the day.
I know my husband loves me, and we have an awful lot of fun together both in and out of the bedroom, but there is nothing that can mask true lustful surprise on a man’s face. It’s a look that goes right to my heart and knees … and ego. After over 20 years of being together, there aren’t many times left when I can see that sincere expression of delighted shock and desire. It was like watching a kid at Christmas.
Later in the day, when I revealed my fashion leap to my Office Guy the first time, his reaction was equally incredible. To stand just a few feet away from him and do the seductive hiking up of my hem, to see his eyes light up and just stare in amazement was an amazing turn-on for me. Then to allow him to touch and fondle … still a prominent masturbation memory.
I have never really been a big fan of hosiery. I don’t like pantyhose and will muddle through a day with tights only because I have a great outfit and killer boots that require the wearing of them … not to mention Canadian weather. But mostly, whenever possible, I have avoided the idea.
When I launched my website, I started to learn that there were a number of different fetishes that guys had; hosiery being one. Up until a couple months ago, outside of my photo sessions, I had only worn stockings on my wedding day. And even that day resulted with a round of sex.
Hosiery certainly accents a woman’s legs, and the smoothness of the nylon hides any slight imperfections; leaving you with a visual distraction. However, it has taken me a while to begin to understand what it is you guys really do like about a somewhat older fashion statement like stockings and garterbelts.
Stockings, more so than pantyhose, reveal a slightly different side of a woman. These days when they are less common, it suggests she has an adventurous spirit – because let’s be honest, garters and stockings are certainly not the battle-worthy undergarments that our grandmothers wore. The hint of the lace top, the peek of uncovered thigh, and the satiny band of garter that holds the stockings in place stir incredible fantasies in men, or so I’m told.
I also think that stockings and garterbelts are what take a woman from the practicality of “office attire” that pantyhose suggest to a mature playfulness. The look says she’s no longer going to put on that plaid mini-kilt and pretend she is still in Catholic school, but rather she will slip on that power suit and do naughty, naughty things on the boardroom table.
Stockings are no longer an expected part of a woman’s normal attire, so they seem to hold a flirtatious and salacious surprise when she does slip them on. Stockings are erotic and sensual, pantyhose are everyday.
Therapist and relationship expert Louise van der Velde tells us, “Stockings are sexy because they show a bit of flesh but not everything. I think it’s an association thing with men – they’re used to seeing stockings on sexy models in magazines so they trigger a response in the male mind.”
“Men find it sexier when you leave something to the imagination,” explains Joy Davidson, PhD, Manhattan-based sex therapist, author of Fearless Sex and creator of the Joy Spot videos (www.joydavidson.com). Give him a sneak peek at what you’ve got going on under those clothes by feigning an “oopsie” moment, she also suggests.
For me, as someone who has never really embraced the idea of pantyhose as something that are comfortable – and necessary – turning to this slightly outdated style has allowed me to explore a more dressy look and tease the hell out of the men in my life.
That’s worth it all!
I had different blogging plans this morning…so those may appear later this evening, after work. But as I was having my morning coffee, a Twitter friend of mine sent me a note in response to my Thigh High Thursday post today. Over in the U.K., today is National Stockings Day, where women are encouraged to wear stockings to show support for cancer awareness.
Now, as someone who has been personally touched by cancer I could not resist the opportunity to lend a little peek to the cause. Unfortunately, I can’t actually participate in the event today as my shift is not suited for something so sexy…sitting in a lab looking like an astronaut just won’t get the heart pumping for most of you guys. (Although I am sure it is a fetish somewhere)