Sex | Quantity vs. Quality

I hope everyone is having an awesome start to their Halloween. I have to admit that this is one of my most favourites “holidays” of the year. As someone who believes strongly in the paranormal, I also enjoy the entertainment factor of everything spooky.

That said, I struggled a bit with today’s Miniskirt Monday. I tried to find something in the spirit of the day, so I hope you enjoy my offering. It’s an older photo, but of course, if you want to see a whole collection of sexy skirts (and a lot less), please slip on over to my naughty secret and enjoy a little of what little I’m wearing.

This question is something that makes an appearance every now and then in my life, so I am taking today as my opportunity to revisit all the great thoughts and ideas around it.

Do you think the quality of sex or quantity of sex is more important? Why?

I’ll be honest, I believe the truth lay somewhere in between both. I think that frequent great sex is the secret to life…sex keeps us young and healthy. But I am also enough of a realist to understand that some days the libido struggles against the rest of the clutter in our minds and creates barriers to the perfect moment. And when that takes over, sometimes our minds and bodies just don’t get into the moment as much.

That is the reality.

Given my own choice, I would take quality over quantity now that I have experienced a bit of what life has to offer.

Why? Because I have discovered the incredible joys of having a battery-operated boyfriend for those moments in between. And barring an available supply of the Energizer Bunnies, I learned a lot from the old jingle for the Yellow Pages and I let my fingers do the walking. So for me, if each moment of physical intimacy is mind-blowing…albeit seldom…at this point in life I could make it work.

BUT that is if I had no choice. Let’s be honest, all of us would like to find the perfect balance between moments of delicious self-love and a good ol’ fashioned, mattress-pounding conjugal screw!

Now, had this question been asked of me back when I was in my late teens and throughout my 20s, I would have really struggled with taking that perspective. I was much more into the pursuit of experience and I think I would have been more inclined to settle for a lot of bad sex just to keep getting some.

Andee     xoxo

Do I Need A Bucket List?

Quiet a while back I wrote a little blog about my sexual bucket list…things I wanted to accomplish in my sex life before I pass over to the great wonder. For the most part, it is still something that I want to pursue in my sexual adventure, but won’t feel any sense of failure if certain parts don’t happen.

Yesterday, as I was talking to my husband about an interview I had in the afternoon with a commercial booking agency, we ended up on the subject of bucket lists. He was saying how proud he was of me for putting myself out there and trying new things in life…saying this shortly after I told him that I thought I was crazy for even going to see about this stuff, especially since my acting career is limited to amateur porn movies and couple of murder mystery dinner theatre gigs years ago.

We talked about a lot of the people we know personally who live their life in the passenger seat, merely watching as so much passes them by. It’s something we have both long agreed to never do, both as individuals and a couple. Beyond my website – which believe or not would be something on a bucket list if I had one – there are lots of things I push myself to try. Heck, this past summer I signed up for a women’s hockey league and played goalie – never having played hockey before. It was exhilarating and liberating…and scary.

I ride my own motorcycle…another thing I hear from friends about how they could never do something like that. Why?

Anyway, my husband said if anything does come out of this recent venture, and I get cast in something, then it was another “item to check off the bucket list.”

And it made me think. And the more the gears turned, the more I realized I don’t really have a personal bucket list. I have my sexual one, but not a life one.

There are a lot of things I would like to do in life, and places I would like to see, but I’ve always kind of plugged along believing that if they happen, they will happen.

My husband laughed as I explained this to him, responding with “That’s because you’re not in your 40s yet. Wait until you’re about 45 (hubby is), then you’ll find yourself jumping out of perfectly good airplanes or climbing on some camel in the Egyptian desert.”

Is a bucket list something that is reserved for people who think they need to catch up on what they missed in life?

At first I was thinking “Damn…” but the more it swirls around in my head the more I believe that I don’t want a “bucket list.” I want a life of excitement and adventure without it having to be planned. I don’t want to have to schedule events in life just to account for time I spent in the passenger seat. For that matter, move over and let me drive!

So, the more I think about it, the more I know I’m on the right track…even when you take the sex out of the equation!

Andee     xoxo

Fantasy Friday | ‘Say It Out Loud’

Hey guys…sorry, it kind of took longer than I anticipated to get things rolling today, but I had a little ‘real-life’ interlude to manage this afternoon.

Anyway, as promised in my blog from Monday, I have a very intriguing Fantasy Friday today. It’s not so much about one of the fantasy moments of making love on a secluded beach as the tide rolls in (that is a real fantasy of mine, by the way). But it touches on a very real erotic experience and exposes some very real erotic thoughts and sexual energy that is really me … and not just the “Sexy Northern Angel” chick you may have seen online or read about in her blog. Sure, it’s founded on fantasy, and a situation that is not likely to occur for reasons other than like to one above (lacking a secluded beach in Canada during Autumn), but these are the raw, hot thoughts to swirl around regularly.

For you guys that love a woman in high heels and stockings, then you have probably shared this very thought. And, for anyone who has had some naughty thoughts about someone other than their spouse … well, my husband discovered just how powerful and erotic it can be to take my mind down a very vulnerable path and pressed me to expose more than just the delightful excitement between my legs.

I hope you will join me for another hot Fantasy Friday!

Andee     xoxo

 

Porn | It Can Be Good For Relationships

As you know, in some of my previous blogs I have been an advocate for pornography in relationships. I don’t see it as the great evil and “straight to hell” factor in life. Of course, when you are someone who has an adult website and a series of sex videos, it’s kind of hard not to be.

But that is when it is not a complete obsession.

I mean, I hope that when you feel the need, or slight obsession, that I can be a part of it. But at the same time, my naughty little secret is intended to be something that is seen as entertainment and certainly not a deviant part of society and responsible for the downfall of western civilization as we know it.

Yesterday I was reading an article on the Internet about how porn can play a healthy role in a relationship and I had that brief moment of vindication. I do believe that certain kinds of porn can be very useful in helping couples establish a starting point for discussing fantasies, desires, etc.

For example, I knew my husband was a long-time porn enthusiast. I also knew he had a naughty collection on our home computer. One night, when we were having a bit of fun, he pulled out the laptop and opened up some pictures of a threesome scene as he did me from behind. As the sex heated up, he was also fucking my mind, putting my imagination into that scene. Kinky for me at the moment, but he had tapped into one of my biggest fantasies and allowed me to really open up to him about my thoughts.

And over time we have gone back to this same way of sharing and exploring together…sometimes casually using porn to hint at new fantasies.

“The biggest misconception about porn is that it’s always degrading and shameful,” says Teesha Morgan, a sex therapist in Vancouver. “However, it can also empower women to take control of their sexuality.” This isn’t to say porn can’t cause relationship problems. And this really isn’t to say that everyone should watch it, especially if you’d rather not. But if you’re so inclined, finding porn you enjoy watching can really heat up your sex life”

The article further states: With the ubiquity of steamy on-demand videos and websites catering to every kink conceivable, porn is more mainstream and more easily (and anonymously) accessible than ever – and guys aren’t the only ones tuning in. A study published in 2008 found that nearly one in three women aged 18 to 26 reported using porn (compared to nearly nine in 10 guys in the same age group). Its popularity might be even higher among slightly older women, suggests Debby Herbenick, a research scientist and associate director of the Center for Sexual Health Promotion at Indiana University in Bloomington. “I do think, like a lot of things about sex, porn use becomes more common in the mid-20s and 30s – related in part to being in a long-term relationship and wanting to keep things fresh.”

And there is certainly nothing wrong with keeping things fresh!

Andee     xoxo

Just An Average Couple

For anyone who also follows me on Twitter, you already know that on the weekend my husband and I headed downtown for the Everything To Do With Sex Show. It’s a consumer trade show that we attend pretty much every year, pick up a couple new outfits and fun things for the bedroom, and all that good stuff.

Panties? Or no panties?

This year was especially entertaining…but that had more to do with the ride home than the show itself. More on that later…

One of the comments I made to him, as we walked the aisles of the show – and good on the organizers because it was quiet busy this year – was that, for whatever reason, I noticed how everyone there was just an average couple like us. Young and old, hot and sexy – and not. And I’m sure there are a few with secrets like mine, but otherwise it was a group of everyday people exploring and sharing their sexual health.

In a strange way, I thought that was a really good sign that there are couples out there that want to enjoy their own sexual adventures, and are willing to openly talk about the things that turn them on – like a little role-playing, or sex toys or (naughty girlish giggle) bondage. It made me feel more comfortable in my own desires – not that I needed to, but I think you know what I mean. When you set out on this kind of adventure, be it to discover your own sexuality, accept your fantasies or try to make them realities, you sometimes have that sense of “am I the only one?”

Of course, the big question is: What did Andee get?

Well, the outfits will allow me to play out a few new sexy updates with more of a storyline behind them. That seems to be something you guys enjoy more when it comes to a photo set. I will keep you thinking on what those outfits are until they make an appearance on my website.

But perhaps the biggest leap for me is that after years of exploring with nice “somewhat realistic fake penises,” I bought my first glass dildo. In past I was a little reluctant to try glass, just because it seems to be a bit of the unknown for me…the durability I mean. Rubber dildos can fly around the bedroom, bounce off the floor or night stand and not get damaged. Glass? I guess I will just have to be a bit more cautious 😉

And nothing is ever tame with me…my husband told me as we were heading down to the show that he was looking for something to replace the little vibrating backdoor toy that makes an appearance every now and them when I want that incredible sensation in both. So, now I am the horny owner of a glass anal toy…product review to follow at a later date!

Now, back to the car ride home. Before we left the show, I slipped into the bathroom and removed my panties. I had intended just to tease my hubby a little, thinking we would get all worked up and by the time we get home be ready for some wild sex. Wouldn’t you know that downtown traffic on a Saturday was insane…and it took almost two hours just to get out onto the expressway.

At first, my husband was teasing me by gently stroking my thigh just at the hem of my skirt. I wasn’t sure if he suspected anything about my lack of panties, but it was driving me crazy waiting for his hand to get high enough up. This went on for a good 20 minutes before he finally slipped his hand all the way up. By then I was already turned on, and it was very obvious…and it’s moments like this when I love the Brazilian waxing.

So, as traffic barely turtles along, he starts really playing with my pussy. And he’s not one to just sit and nonchalantly fondle me…he likes to mess with my mind at the same time, telling me as people are walking past on the sidewalk, just a couple feet from our vehicle. Then he wonders out loud if the people in the car beside us can see in…all those thoughts and ideas that hits on my exhibitionist thrill.

This goes on…I kid you not…for a good hour. And we only went a couple city blocks with people everywhere outside the car. So, by the time we hit the expressway, I’ve had it. I am so horny and turned on that I need some serious relief.

One of the little things we had bought is a mini-hitachi. We got it because it is small and very quiet…something I need for a little later adventure…but it was out of the package and onto my pussy in a hurry. And to add to it, I’m pretty sure one truck driver got a nice peek. It had to be obvious something was going on, when you see a woman with both stilettos pressed against the windshield.

I’ll save my after-party sex experience with you in an upcoming Fantasy Friday, but just so you know, the sex fun did not stop with an orgasm at 100km/h…

Speaking of stilettos, don’t miss today’s Miniskirt Monday update…sexy gold sequin top and tiny white mini.

Andee     xoxo