Monthly Archives: February 2011

Fantasies | More Than A Private Dancer

I sure hope everyone had an awesome weekend. I’ve had my head buried in school books, so getting a chance to get my blog rolling on time has been a bit of a challenge.

I’ve also been asking if there’s anything my readers would like me to write about, or touch on in my updates. I’ve been plugging away with my own perversions and thoughts so much, I haven’t really paused to ask “What are you interested in?” Please leave me a note, comment or drop me an e-mail. I would like to keep building this blog with you in mind.

Back a few years ago, when I had a blog on a different site, this entry proved to be one of the most talked about at the time. In fact, my husband and a couple of my friends still mention it every now and then. I really enjoyed reading it again, and it certainly brought some definite ideas back to mind.

You say you’re an exhibitionist. What is the craziest public display you would like to do if you knew you could get away with it?

I would try stripping on amateur night. Back at that time my husband had taken me to a strip club that featured women dancers for the first time. It was a real eye-opener, and really got me thinking. Things like nude beaches, clubs, etc., they’re a lot of fun, but the idea of being up on stage, in front of a crowd like that really gets me thinking. The club we went to has an amateur night, and from what I hear, is quite the party. It’s in a university town nearby, and all the talk is of girls from the school letting loose and trying to win some money. I’m not too sure, because it sounds so much like an urban myth, but it would be wild to try.

Sadly, my own insecurities and possible loss of employment don’t allow for me to really give it a try. If anyone found out, I think my employer would pretty much show me the door. As I have mentioned a few times, I work in a pretty conservative field, and it just wouldn’t be very good.

On top of that, I think I would like to lose 15 lbs before I even consider it. I’m not as “buff” as I was back a few years ago. I would definitely need to get in shape. I think my husband suspects, because he bought me the Carmen Electra Stripaerobics tapes for Christmas. I’ll know when I see the flyers for the strip club on the table ;~)

I also have to wonder about whether or not men would want to see a 36-year-old mother of two up on stage. I love the esteem boost that I get from all your messages on here and my social networking sites, but what I think in my own head as to what men would think of me might be a little more complimentary than the reality.

So I’m sticking to my comment about being more comfortable in my own skin before letting it loose on stage!

But then again…I certainly found my visit to a strip club quite thrilling too ;~)

UPDATE: For all of you who have been following my 30 Favourites in 30 Days, slip on over to my Twitter site to see how it all finished up. I’m now looking for some new ideas … feel free to let me know what you might like to see!

Andee     xoxo

Promiscuity | What’s In A Name

I was listening to a funny bit on the radio this morning about the most promiscuous names for men and women.

Not sure if I should be happy or hurt that neither of mine were on the list. You do know, guys, that I don’t go by “Andee” in my real life. That would just be weird for me. In fact, only one person refers to me that way outside of this kinky little online life … my best friend from Grade 1 who gave me the name because she could pronounce the one I was given at birth.

Oh, and one acquaintence that we know from one of the lifestyle clubs we go to … but she knew me more from Southern Charms because she was a Charm too a few years back.

And no, she does know where it has taken me 30 years later!

The top names for women:
1. Vanessa
2. Angela
3. Chantelle
4. Tamara
5. Sheila

The least:
1. Dorothy

One of the things I noticed is that most of the promiscuous names for women end with “a.” Hmm. Is there a pattern?

Can’t say my name ever prompted me to be promiscuous, but it has opened the door for some intriguing conversations … and no, sorry guys, I won’t be telling you what it really is.

On the men’s side, the most promiscuous is “Dave.” Funny, I thought it would have been “John.” (Bah-dah, bump, bah.)

I wonder if some parents set their children up for failure, or destiny, when picking a name … like Candy or Destiny … you know where I’m going with that. And let’s not get started on some celebrikids … Apple? Really? “Have you met cousin Lingonberry?”

I’ve always had a bit of a fascination with how people came to be named what they are. When I was pregnant with my own children it was a somewhat challenging process to find names that would be somewhat normal, not get them beat up in the schoolyard and still not be obvious that they were “passed down” like that boxer … what’s his name? Oh yeah, everyone in his family is George Foreman!

Mine came from someone my parents had met years earlier on a vacation and it stuck with them until the had me. Nothing crazy, I suppose. It isn’t particularly fitting given our ancestral background, but what the heck … sure beats being named after something like where I was conceived; Buick just isn’t real sexy for a girl!

Andee    xoxo

Games | Would You Rather?

Back to work is not so much fun … except when the conversation heads down a left turn. I know you must get the impression that my work place is an HR nightmare, given how much I say we talk about sex and flirt like mad – but the truth is, given the incredible stresses that exist, those subjects often come up as a simple method of distraction.

And of course, one of our favourite games is “Would you rather …”

Usually it starts out innocently enough; someone saw some documentary, or TV show where a guy eats live snakes, etc., and we get carried away with the “Would you rather …”

A couple weeks ago we had a good one where the one choice was would you rather go without sex, which led to the point – could you be happy without sex?

For me, I don’t think I truly could. Right now a big part of my world is my exploration. And while to many the idea of sex is completely separate from the idea of love, for me sex brings a level of intimacy that I find I need. Even in those moments when I am exploring with someone other than my partner, there is still a certain intimacy that fuels my imagination. It’s not “love” but rather a physical connection that brings about pleasure.

I dished the comeback to send everyone into an adolescent giggle with: Is masturbation still considered sex?

I know a few people who have reached such a dismal state in their own relationships that they claim they could do without getting it on, but I wonder if that is simply their frustration showing. I’d be willing to bet that there are some, if given that “Hall Pass,” would slip into bottomless state of debauchery to regain their sense of sexuality.

So while I am big believer in that you can love without sex, at this stage in my life, those physical moments – the passion, excitement and resulting mind-blowing climax – are very important to me.

Not to mention, without sex what the hell would I blog about?
Andee’s Threesome of Advice for Getting It On 

Sex is good. Good sex is better

1. Sex is good for you. Sex produces chemical reactions in the body that help keep us happy and healthy. And guys, it’s been argued that regular orgasms help prevent prostate cancer.  
2. Sex is good for the human race. Skip the orgasms, sex is about procreation and survival of our species. Without sex, there wouldn’t be a next generation. But forget skipping the orgasms; they help a woman get pregnant by creating sperm-loving spasms in the cervix. If she needs help, buy her a sex toy…makes “trying to get pregnant” fun! 
3. Sex is money. Money makes the world go round, Andee wants to have sex around the world … Ok, this thread in the threesome might not be a good reason for you to have sex. Unless you’re rich and having sex with me! 

 Andee     xoxo

Dating | 15 Ideas For Going Out With Me

Well, that was interesting. You know, I was really self-conscious about cutting all my hair off for this style. I was really worried about how it would look – and given how I know a lot of you guys like long hair on a woman. But I have been surprisingly surprised with the reactions.

And some have come from some very unusual sources. I got asked out on a date yesterday by someone at work. First I thought he was kidding around, then I clued in that this guy was very sincere about it. I think I was too shocked to be flattered or confused. This hasn’t happened in a very long time – especially because it wasn’t my husband that asked.

I can understand how this guy came to the point where he “popped the question.” For a number of shifts in my department, we are not allowed the wear any jewellery, so the obvious clue of my wedding bands is not always there.

Anyway … I had to say no. But it gave me something to take home and prompt the man at my house to take notice. So, for those of you out there that may want to take notice and need some good suggestions, here’s a little something I “borrowed” from one of my favourite trashy women’s magazines:

Andee’s Borrowed Dates

With great woman on your arm and a desire to be adventurous, there’s no excuse for you not to go on a date. Here’s 15 ideas for memorable dates for any time of year that won’t set you back more than $20 – spiced with my own take on them … and there’s not one that wouldn’t get you at least one step closer to my bedroom!

1. Find the best happy hour in town. Look through your newspaper or search online for local restaurants and bars with happy hours. Most places offer half-price food and drink specials, allowing you to get two drinks and share an appetizer for less than $20. Two drinks is enough to loosen up …
2. Go to a museum. Most museums either have free admission or offer free entry on certain days of the month. History is erotic, education is sexy. Show me you know something other than who won the 1974 Stanley Cup.
3. Visit your local zoo. Most zoos offer adult tickets for less than $10. Pack your own snacks and bottled water and have a mini picnic while you’re there. And suck it up and hit all the really cute animals, because she’ll feel all cuddly after seeing a baby leopard.
4. If you’re not buried under a mountain of snow like Andee right now, go on a romantic hike. Bring a backpack and surprise your partner with a bottle of champagne, glasses and fresh strawberries. And if you find yourself alone in the forest with you date, remember: bears do more than just s#!t in the woods.
5. Go swimming at your local pool, lake or beach. Bring some water toys and have more fun than the kids. Laugh it up; because laughing is a significant aphrodisiac for women.
6. In the summer, beat the heat with an ice cream date. Take two scoops to the park, or take a walk downtown and go people watching. Voyeurism is very erotic.
7. Plan a cheap picnic. Go on a picnic at the beach, mountains or in your own backyard. Grab a blanket, pack a deli sandwich and a bottle of $5 wine. You might be surprised how much just a conversation can be a turn-on for a woman.
8. Take a blanket to the beach. Split your budget between a bottle of wine and cheese, then enjoy the sunset while you snuggle on a blanket. If it’s secluded enough, a late night swim might be in the cards … even better if you ‘forgot’ the swim suits.
9. Stroll through a botanical garden. Spend the day walking hand in hand through rose gardens and tropical rainforests, for less than $10 a ticket. Stop and smell the roses with her … literally and figuratively.
10. Be a kid again. Go bowling, play miniature golf, ride go-carts or play laser tag. I recently learned real golf … and if she’s game, that’s four hours in the great outdoors with lots of potential for lost balls!
11. Build a bonfire. All you need is some firewood, snacks and a drink of your choice. This is also a great opportunity to make ‘smores. And that sticky goodness can be fun to lick off her fingers 😉
12. Rent something. Go roller- or ice-skating, rent a two-seater bike and pedal through the park, or paddle a boat on a pond.
13. Go wine tasting. Most wineries charge around $5 for a tasting of five different wines – plus, you’ll get to keep the glass as a souvenir of your date. Just be sincere with your intentions as you get her drunk!
14. Take a scenic drive. Pull over to have coffee and dessert at a nice cafe. Go parking somewhere and make-out like teenagers in the back seat. Sometime it leads to even better fun in the outdoors!
15. Rack ’em up at your local pool joint. With pool games costing just a few bucks, you might even have money left over to share a pitcher of beer. I love to shoot pool, especially if I’m wearing a sexy pair of boots and a favourite date-night skirt! I might even let you slide in behind me to show me that trick shot 😉

There you go guys … borrowed dates Andee style. Go out, have fun, get some. Life should be all about that and not the stress we deal with 9-5.

Andee   xoxo

Porn | Why Do Guys Love It?

As you can, lately I’ve been trying to do a bit more ‘marketing’ for the ‘business’ side of my little sexual adventure; mostly because the other part of this whole experience has been encouraging me to get a little more active in that end.

I rarely try to present myself as some kind of ‘salesperson’ because I don’t think I am very good at it. I’ve never felt comfortable “pushing” my website. It hasn’t been my intention to turn the ‘Andee’ part of me into some kind of adult performer; just a nickname attached to my exploits. But it’s kind of that old “Catch-22” cliche … the sexual discovery and experiments are connected to my website, to my Facebook, to my Twitter, yada yada yada …

From those little conversations we’ve had about that side of things, I have been trying to wrap my brain around the reasons why guys are into porn. What makes a man surf the Internet, or go old-school and buy an adult magazine or rent a DVD?

I Guess I should have asked —^

From the feminine side of things, I have learned that my gender has greatly increased our indulgence in porn, and as I wrote yesterday, erotica. I’m sure some of the reasons between men and women must be similar. So this one, guys – and please forgive me – is a bit introspective (looked that one up).

1. Pornography is the fantasy that your spouse / lover isn’t.

Not all relationships are open to the fantasies we have. Fantasies are healthy, some can be turned into reality, while others remain (delightfully) imaginative. Like I wrote about in my blog on erotic literature and sex stories, this takes our imaginations away to places we know may never be real, or encounters that will never happen. Seriously, I’ve reluctantly come to accept I will never have a threesome with Jennifer Aniston either.

2. Pornography is the sexual variety that doesn’t exist in your relationship.

I admit that as my relationship grew with my husband that I was pretty naive. For a long time I assumed that a lot of the sexual exploration we did together (and alone) was part of a normal, healthy marriage. I then learned that there are an awful lot of vanilla relationships out there. I remember telling a couple friends about some bedroom items my husband bought for me: lingerie, toys, erotica … I wish I could have captured the look on their faces. Not sure what the biggest shocker was: that I was into experimenting, or that he knew my size?

“You mean you don’t wear fishnet thigh highs, stripper boots and leather bondage gear to bed?”

I began to understand that things like my website offer men the variety they wish their wives and girlfriends would try.

3. Pornography provides the immediate sexual release that a relationship may not offer.

How many of us come home after a long, stressful day. I know I do often, so to put out for a horny husband sometimes can be overwhelming. After many, many conversations about pornography, masturbation, etc., it made sense that sometimes we all need that quick, self-satisfying release. At first, I was like many women who couldn’t understand why he would sit in front of the computer and pleasure himself … until I developed a taste for it myself. Porn offers the inspiration and motivation, at least I see it that way.

4. Pornography provides comfort from loneliness and lack of physical connection.

You know, I’ve said it before: I’m very lucky. I have a partner that feeds my imagination, my soul, my family with love, kindness and attention. He has allowed me to discover a whole part of myself that many other people refuse to connect with in themselves. I also know there are a lot of people out there who long for someone in their life who will validate them in that way; or even just acknowledge them in the same house. Yes, even in a marriage, people can be very lonely. Sometimes – and based on some of the conversations and chats I’ve had with people – the kind of stuff I do online provides a moment of comfort and connection.

5. Pornography creates the ‘whore complex’ that your spouse / lover won’t create for you.

I guess you could tie this one back to #1, but a bit deeper. A “fantasy” may not be strong enough to touch on the idea of this one. My husband and I have had a few debates on this. In a way, it may be the one I struggle with the most, because I can’t control how some people interpret what I do online. Some like the idea of the ‘whore’ or ‘slut’ image that is created by what I write and photos I take. The fantasy becomes more of dominance and control … and my husband suggests as one of the biggest reasons for the success of amateur porn: the fantasy of f^@$ing another man’s wife. Our photos represent the dark side of sex that their wife doesn’t.

Heady stuff … and trust me, it took more than one train ride to and from work to figure this one out.

My husband says I am a bit of an anomaly when it comes to the subject, as I have long gotten past any feeling of disgust, guilt, shame or judgement over it. And while there is still an awful lot out there that shocks the hell out of me – and some that crosses a lot of lines of morality and decency – I have reached a point of intrigue and acceptance for what probably counts as ‘mainstream.’

But I still wonder, more so now, what it is you guys see in what I do, and why you enjoy it … and I guess, also why you don’t?

Andee  xoxo
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