Monthly Archives: January 2011

Strip Clubs | Does My Man Go?

Hey everyone! Hope you’re enjoying your weekend. We’ve had a perfect winter day, sunshine and not too cold, so that was a nice change. The sunshine is very therapeutic! Sadly the weather people are calling for “Snowmagedon 2011” tomorrow and Wednesday.

This was something that has been talked about quite a few times, and came up again not that long ago with some of my female coworkers. Apparently she was stunned when her boyfriend went to a club; to the point where she is ready to dump him.

Do you let your man go to strip clubs? Do you ever go with him? And how do you feel about lap dances?

Day 2 – 30 Favourites in 30 Days

Yes. I have no problem with my husband going to strip clubs. I’m usually the one who benefits the most 😉 I’ve never quite understood why other women have such a big problem with them. I suspect that maybe they think that they are no longer attractive enough to keep his interest? I’m not the jealous type. I don’t have time for it. You either trust me or you don’t.  

And actually, my husband is more of the one not to go than me. I used to go with my girlfriends all the time…why not? It’s just a show. For some reason, he’s never been a big fan of them. I’ve had never asked why, but it’s just not something that he’s into. So, when I sat down to answer this I asked. He said he is too cheap to pay for beer that expensive… Then he said he finds it a bit uncomfortable watching a girl do that on stage. He’d rather sit and talk and learn something about her. (Hmm, conversation…interesting concept).

The last time he went to one, I was with him. And now he wants to go again…I have to admit, it was a bit unnerving at first, having never been into one where just girls dance. But, I found it a lot more interesting and exciting than the male revues. I was completely shocked because my whole impression of what it would be like was nothing close to the truth. The girls weren’t these big breasted barbies…and actually some of them were kinda scary

I was also surprised at the number of women there were in the audience. It was quite the happening place. A little plug – Roxxanne’s in Waterloo, ON. Tell them Andee sent you!

But, I did find it very exciting. One dancer kept watching me very closely while she was doing her routine on a little side stage. I admit I found it to be quite the turn on.  

I don’t have any issue with lap dances either. One of these days I might just get one 😉

I think the whole experience can be quite erotic if it is performed properly. I admit that I do enjoy watching the control we have over guys that way…teasing and taunting with naughty dances while you poor things can’t touch. And why you guys would pay so much for one of those is beyond me. Anyone who says these girls are being exploited needs to get a better understanding of economics.  

Andee
xoxo

Photos | My 30-day Project

Not too many deep thoughts in this one. I’ve been trying to figure out how to make all of my little projects on this Internet thing work out, and fit together. Hubby and I sat down and figured out a few things that may interest anyone who has become involved in this adventure of mine, from you guys here, to my “social media” friends and everyone in between.

So, for the next 30 days I’m going to try a little project. Most of means work for me … Some of it might mean a little added fun for you! Mostly because the biggest part of it all – besides dishing on my thoughts here, and maybe a video blog or two attempted – I will also be posting 30 of my personal favourite photos from my website. Each has a bit of a story, which I’ll also share.

DAY 1

From Update #69 – Sexy Pantyhose

I remember how much I enjoyed the update. I had spent the day getting my hair done, so I think it looks great in these photos. I was never able to get it as perfectly straight. My husband also used to just fawn over me after a salon trip … it was a big turn on for him, so I was guaranteed a romp in the sack.

In this update I am also wearing this pair of incredibly sexy pantyhose that a fan had sent to me. You know I’m not a fan of pantyhose, but these ones are wonderful … the feel great and I love the way they make my legs look in them.

Hope you agree …

See you tomorrow with another blog … and another photo update!

Andee
xoxo

Fidelity | It Depends On Your Definition

This one has been one of those comments that has been lingering for a little while. Every now and then something gets said in passing, or directly in conversation, and it sends my mind into a swirling mess of “Oh my gawd, what do you know?”

I’m sure … at least I try to convince myself that I am … that these passing comments have no attachment to me, but are just simple thoughts being shared.

How important do you think fidelity is in a relationship?

Wow.

Well, actually I think it is extremely important. But if you know the truth about me you would think I am a total hypocrite.

Why? Because I don’t have what a lot of people would consider to be the most fidelity-based relationship. I kiss other women … I’ve had sex with other women. I kiss other men … but I’ve not had sex with other men (if you don’t count oral). My husband and I have engaged in what a lot of couples would never even think of by participating in sexual encounters with people other than each other.

Is that a breach of fidelity? Probably in a very clear definition.

But I don’t exactly see it that way. I don’t see the sexual experiences I’ve had as being unfaithful, just a non-traditional set of circumstances in a marriage.

Let me explain …

Fidelity is something that most committed couples share in their union. It is a bond that involves the deepest level of trust and love two people can share. Some of you may not see it as something that can be flexible … I do.

I see fidelity as the deepest love and trust I share with my husband, but that doesn’t mean I have to apply it to physical pleasure. When I am sharing an intimate moment with someone other than him, it is a purely physical experience. I don’t violate his trust, or mine.

It’s certainly not something that has always been a part of my psyche, but something I have explored, tested and pushed over the past decade. It’s had its ups and downs, stops and starts … and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t also have its share of frustrations, arguments and tears. But in a twisted way, it is through all of those moments that I have developed an even deeper and stronger love for my husband.

Couples today seem to quit rather than invest. I can say that my husband and I have invested a great deal of effort and love to make our marriage something unique. There’s not an awful lot that was “easy.” It took effort, commitment and constant communication. I listen to some of my friends going on about their dreams, desires and ambitions – and then say they could never discuss it with their spouse. I see that as a bigger breach of fidelity than swapping spit with my girlfriend in a hot tub. I see that as the greatest failure of trust – because it says they can’t be open about themselves to the person who is supposed to mean everything. Instead they will dish the heartaches to a divorce lawyer and split their lives in half.

To me that is being unfaithful to yourself. Maybe you should have told him that you wanted to try something wild and crazy just once … and he could watch while you did.

Andee
xoxo

Proposal | Sleep My Way To The Top

Grrr … sitting here on the train, still in the station. It’s “supposed” to be the 5:15, but right now the clock says 5:24. And the conductor keeps making the announcement that it is the 5:15. Apparently not, people! 

Ever have those long days when you just want to get home? 

Anyway, lucky for me – and hopefully you – I have my little laptop and the batteries got lots of juice! And you know me and batteries with lots of juice! So, this question is something that was sent to me in an e-mail recently. I certainly hope it isn’t from the person in the actual subject … 

If your boss promised you the promotion you were very keen to get but insisted that you spend a weekend with him, pleasing him sexually, would you agree? 

Hmmm … intriguing proposition … now, to think. 

I guess the my immediate response is back to what I said earlier – and I don’t have to worry about this being sent by my boss. My boss is a woman, so “pleasing him sexually” isn’t gender correct. 

Do I Get The Job?

But all silliness aside, this is an interesting question. I have not been in a position like that in my career. I guess working in the environment I do currently doesn’t leave the door open for anything like that. We are unionized, so promotions are rarely based on individual performance. Sadly, almost all the time they are not even based on merit, but rather based on seniority. That said, I have positioned myself and my skills in such a way that I do have better qualifications should a promotion arise … and make myself more attractive to a prospective employer without the need for a pair of heels and low-cut top. 

However, I think my e-mailer wants to know more of the naughty side, and would I do something as such? 

I do know someone who has admittedly used all her feminine wiles and talents to secure a better job. She was once a much closer friend than she is these days, but we’re still in touch via that dreaded Facebook, which has consumed my blogs of late. This person works in the broadcast industry and managed to manoeuvre herself into a more prominent on-air role after making some good impressions early in her career with some oral negotiations. While she is a friend, I can say her broadcasting talents aren’t equal to whatever position she used to secure the exposure she now has. 

Meow … 

At work I do tease my boss (the woman) about her own dealings with her boss (a man). Usually it boils down to “get yourself a new pair of CFM boots and slip on a short skirt!” 

I doubt it happens … but we do laugh about it. 

Do you sense some avoidance here? OK, just making sure. 

This is kind of the Indecent Proposal theme, isn’t it? And when you get right down to it, most of us have a price. I’m personally torn because I have some inner reservations about how I earn some of my income now. I never intended to create a “job” out of an amateur porn site way back when my husband and I started taking naughty pictures. But in the nine years I have been doing it, I have been making a little something extra. That’s not really much a secret, nor is it a massive leap in establishing just what I would do for money. 

Some would say I already have history, now we just need to know where the decimal goes. 

Even if we are to look at the intriguing premise of such an indecent (job) proposal, and we look at the idea of just going away for a weekend with someone who isn’t my husband and basically fucking the whole time, at the end of it there is a financial aspect. The promotion would mean more money, maybe a big step up in career ambitions, higher up the ladder so to speak. But would you ever know if you were where you are career-wise because of your job skills or bed skills – trading “I‘ll get back to you“ for “I‘ll get on my back for you.“ Is it something that would ever matter? That just boils down to conscience and bravery. 

I’m a twisted kind of woman these days, the deeper I get into writing about my thoughts, and constantly sharing what I am trying to say here during my bedtime editing with my husband, the more things become a little less black and white. I’m still trying to figure out is grey is OK, and is this what a 36-year-old woman should be behaving like? 

So, would I spend the weekend sexually pleasing my boss in order to get the job promotion I really wanted? I think I’d need to see what he was bringing to the negotiations first! 

Have a sexy weekend guys!

Andee
xoxo

Facebook | More Social Media Sex

Earlier I posted my blog about Facebook, and the percentage of people who use it to track their ex-partners. There was a little mention in that post too about how a recent survey revealed social media in today’s age of dating had led to an increase in how quickly a couple will have sex for the first time.

I had a lively debate this morning (funny enough, on Facebook chat) with one of my friends about the whole idea. We had talked about at work yesterday, and so today we kind of picked up on it again – without the large, typically judgemental, crowd from our department.

I have been married for going on 17 years now, whereas my friend is trying to avoid walking down the aisle a second time. So for me, the idea of using Facebook to speed up my chances of getting sex isn’t that huge of an issue. I do use it to torment and tease my husband on occasion, so that I can guarantee sex later in the day, but I don’t think that counts in the basis of what the survey was suggesting.

But what about the using the Internet for hook-ups? It seems to me that the Internet, social media and the whole smartphone thing have replaced the “singles bars” of the past. I know I’ve dished on that before, but I’m still trying to figure out the appeal. I kind of liked the dancing, drinking, flirting and tired old pick-ups lines from guys who never saw they didn’t stand a chance.

OK, maybe that’s not cool … but the atmosphere was fun.

In my life, the Internet has become a key part of a somewhat twisted and ‘dark’ adventure. I know that my whole sexual discovery wouldn’t have happened without it – mostly because it was the Internet that started it.

I had no clue what the whole “World Wide Web” was about when we first got it. That was back in the mid-1990s and it was dial-up. I wasn’t really interested in what it was about at the time; newly married I had bigger things in mind. I figured it was just another one of those “work” things I have learned to accept from my husband. Maybe back then I was a little more naïve than most – living in a small town, away from everything I knew, trying to find my way.

My perspective changed one afternoon when I came home early from work … to discover my husband’s appetite for porn. You can insert your imagination here …

But that also opened a door to learning that the popularity of the Internet in past has been the ability to hide who you really are. You can surf for all kinds of things and lead a somewhat “secret” life that few will ever know. I can’t say that I jumped on board with that idea at that moment, but it planted a seed of what would become later on.

Now there is a whole new opportunity – which does get back to my original point – can the social networking be used to speed up sex?

When my husband and I began to explore the boundaries of our relationship – beyond those of a “traditional” monogamous marriage – social media allowed us to find others that felt the same way we did, and were looking to explore in the same way we wanted to. We were able to connect with another couple, and while it didn’t “speed up” the sex, it created the expressway for my personal discoveries.

Maybe there should be a Swingbook in addition to Facebook?

Andee
xoxo
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