Category Archives: Travel
Generally, I try to be positive and thoughtful in some of the writing I post. I think part of the reason why I struggled with my blog entries this past spring was that I wasn’t really feeling the creative energy on that side of my personality. Over the past few months, things have grown into a whirlwind of frustration and stress as I try to keep pace with what is happening away from the reason I started this blog.
But in an effort to push myself back to where I want to be – where I need to be – I’ve resolved that even the moments of dark and reluctant thoughts deserve to be aired. So, this week while many of my fellow TMI Tuesday participants are blogging great sexual summer thoughts about hot weather and burning passions, I’m stripping it down again to the rawness of where your Sexy Northern Angel is at.
1. Summer clothes are more revealing than winter clothes. What is the skimpiest outfit that you wear out in public?
A picture is worth a 1,000 words…and from when I was a 1,000 times happier with the way I looked. We were away for a weekend and attending a lifestyle event (swingers dance). You can’t really tell how nervous I was, but that was soon eased when I realized that compared to a lot of the other women, I was almost over-dressed for the occasion. This would be the most risque I would say, as opposed to showing you somewhat normal photos of me in a bikini – which is a standard occurrence in the summer.
2. What summer outfits turn you on when you see other people wearing them?
I’m a sucker for a fit man in a tight white t-shirt and jeans. Given that some days are way too hot for pants, a nice pair of fitted shorts on a guy is eye-catching. Definitely not the baggy, below the knee board shorts that are tragically many men’s choice of fashion; if you’re any shorter than 6’ those ridiculous shorts make you look squatty and that’s not a good look. Try nice, somewhat dressier but still casual shorts, hemmed above the knee.
As I get a little older, my tastes on what I find sexy on a man change. My husband is to blame for how my sense of fashion changes, and some of the snarkiness in my take on guys past 30 who try way too hard to look like an 18-year old Californian surfer. These days I’m less likely to participate in the beach flirtation as I am to watch in twisted delight as the more youthful posture and pose. The guy who stands the chance to get into my bikini is the guy who will look amazing on the sidewalk bistro patio ordering a refreshing summer beverage and salad or strolling around antique shops off the beaten path.
And ditch the Old Navy $1 flip flops.
3. Summer is hot! Sex is hot! Do you find hot summer weather leads to hot summer sex?
I would love to say that summer is the perfect time for canoodling and getting sweaty busy. Right now with two very busy teenage boys in my house, there’s virtually no time for those romantic thoughts of connecting on a blanket under the stars. Our daily schedule is more like trying to juggle flaming cats and chainsaws with one hand while you attempt to give yourself a little self pleasure with your free hand.
However, I have fond memories of how hot summer weather can lead to hot summer sex. And I love hot summer sex. I love the sensation of two sweaty bodies connected, the slight salty taste of a sweaty kiss and the added slipperiness of the moment.
Yep; delightful, fond memories…
4. It’s summer and oysters are off the menu. What foods are the aphrodisiacs of summer?
For men, rumour is watermelon is a natural stimulant for better erections … just make sure you eat enough, and don’t wear a Speedo to the dinner table!
For me, personally, see the answer to Question 5 …
5. Summertime is hot and thirsty time. What is your favorite summer drink, alcoholic or not?
This summer my adult beverage of choice is the Somersby Apple Cider, an alcoholic drink that goes down way too easily on hot summer days (and nights).
6. Two traditional vacation destinations to beat the summer heat are the mountains and the shore. Where do you like to go?
Given my preference, I would choose the shore. I love the beach and the water … mostly I love watching the people. As I mentioned above in my rant about men in board shorts, I do enjoy the voyeuristic opportunity that the shoreline provides. I love watching the posturing between the 20-somethings as they work through the beach towel flirtations.
7. Summertime is road trip time. Do you like to go on vacation by car?
These days, travelling by car is about the only way we get away on a vacation. We adopted a rescue dog back in 2012 and family vacation time involves him, so that means travelling to pet-friendly locations. Mostly camping. Add to the equation that I have two active boys who play competitive sports – which means weekends spent at tournaments … which eats up those precious vacation days.
8. Summertime is experiment time. What are you going to do this summer that you’ve never done before?
Unfortunately, this is probably the worst summer to ask … my reality is I’m currently working in an environment that has denied almost all vacation time to the vast majority of employees, my social schedule is non-existent and my mood rather dark and frustrated. So, I suppose one thing I could say I’m doing that is new is working on finding a new job and trying to come to terms with where I am at in my life right now.
9. Summertime can be hazardous. What summer threat do you fear most? Possibilities: bugs, wildlife, heat, lightning…
Amphibians … frogs/toads/anything that hops that doesn’t have a basket of Easter eggs in its grubby little paws.
10. Summertime is summer fling time. Have you ever had a summertime romance? How far did it go?
No, I’ve not had a fling that lasted only for a summer. My relationships have tended to be more longer term, although I did have an awesome summer the year I met the man who would become my husband. That’s a fling that has been going on for 24 years this month.
BONUS: Summertime is Festival time – music, art, seafood, and more. What festivals have you attended or will you attend?
I’m not much for making my summer entertainment priority “festivals” … probably the last big one I went to was the Friday the 13th event held in Port Dover, ON. It’s a huge motorcycle festival that has been going on for years. While the one I went to was a summertime Friday the 13th, this is something that happens in that town EVERY Friday the 13th.
I think my favourite festival of all time would be the annual International Food & Wine festival held at Epcot in Orlando, FL. Although this happens in autumn, it’s a great experience beyond what the amusement park usually offers.
A few weeks ago I posted a statistic on my Twitter about how 12 per cent of men admit to masturbating while driving. It was just one of those intriguing stats that tend to spark some curiosity in my mind. It’s not something I have witnessed, in my own experience, but have heard since from guys that have indulged in a little stick shift manipulation.
Naturally, the question came back about how many women have…um…popped the clutch? I wasn’t able to find an answer, however I did find lots of blogs, forums and comments asking the same thing. And a lot of fun answers from women who have. The second part of the question following my tweet was – do I fall into the category?
I think I have mentioned it before in something I wrote, but yes, I have revved my engine on occasion.
OK, I’ll put the brakes on the bad automotive puns and accelerate to the point.
You know what, guys? We’re not that much different from you when it comes to some of the racier things about self gratification. There are times when we’re just as incredibly horny and need to find a release. I doubt that you would ever get an admission, but remember back in high school, when you had that untimely erection in class? Yeah, there were times when we got as equally turned on … we just had an easier time of disguising it.
So, when it comes to trying something in the heat of the moment … a masturbatory road show … I’m willing to bet that there’s an equal amount of women out there who have dabbled with some passing lane diddling.
Personally, I had to think about the last time I did it from the driver’s seat. I have entertained my husband a few times with some passenger seat orgasms, but truly solo, it took a moment to reflect. The one occasion I distinctly remember was at a time when I was feeling especially horny and adventurous. I mean, one of those periods when you have that turned-on sense that lasts for weeks, not just a momentary “hey, this might be fun to try.”
In was the midst of one of those late summer weeks when my husband had been mercilessly tormenting me, both at home and on my cell phone with highly sexualized flirtation. He had worked diligently to ensure my mind was distracted in hopes that there might be a fleeting encounter with my Office Guy at work. I had dressed for the occasion, openly admitting now that I was more than just game for this kind of fun.
My commute was always unpredictable. Sometimes I could cruise along, other times it was snail’s pace. But no matter what fate awaited on the highway, it was always busy – so self-gratification wasn’t always an easy distraction.
This day, however, I recall feeling much braver than most. I was wearing a particular dress that I always feel very sexy in, and my mind was willing to be a million miles away from the daily grind. About halfway along, I found myself caught up in one those rolling flirting games. I had passed a transport truck and the driver noticed, from his angle, the exposed flesh of my thighs – because the hem of my dress was up a little higher, innocently at the time. He honked, and smiled … I smiled back. A few kilometers up the road, we found ourselves side by side again. I glanced, he smiled and I’m pretty sure was rather pleased with the view – of which I had just got on.
Jump forward another few kilometers and everyone is slowed down to an almost stand-still. My new road companion drew up beside me, again. This time, he just stayed in place, so he could look into the front seat of my truck and continue to enjoy the view of my legs. I had just received another hot text from my husband, so my libido was on the rise – much like the heat of the day.
So, feeling a sense of bravery, and really not having much else to do while waiting for the traffic to move, I adjusted the hem of my dress so it was pretty much exposing my panties completely. Using the hand I didn’t need for the steering wheel, I slipped my fingers under the leg band and began to gently massage myself towards even more wetness than I already was.
Fortunately, none of that caused another accident, and when traffic cleared, I pulled ahead and left my poor road voyeur with nothing but the fond memory of seeing my fingers slipping into my panties and working myself into a lather.
I finished the job later on, at a more opportune time to bring about some sexual relief … and waited a very long time before ever telling my husband about it!
Driving has always held a little extra erotic twist for many of us … the innocence of ‘running out of gas’ on first dates, the naughtiness of steamy windows at drive-in movies, the freedom that a licence brought. There was definitely a time when a car meant escape from the boredom of home life and the excitement of an open road – and the occasional back road with the right partner!
For many of us – including me – it also meant the discovery of a whole new world of back seat negotiations. So, let’s put things into drive for TMI Tuesday …
1. What type of vehicle do you use regularly? Truck, car, bike, etc.
When I’m on four wheels, I have a gas-guzzling SUV that can hold two hockey bags, two kids, one rescue dog and occasionally a husband. When I’m feeling a little more adventurous and needing the wind in my hair, I have 650cc Savage … affectionately known as Uncle Buck due to the resounding backfire when I turn it off after a ride.
2. Do you use public transportation–bus, train, metro/subway, cab? How often?
Until recently I was one of the lemmings that packed myself into a commuter train everyday and follow the flow of the miserable. Now I’ve escaped from that grind and am enjoying the daily commute with better company.
3. Have you ever had sex in/on public transportation? Tell us about it?
No … public transportation in these parts is really kind of gross.
4. I know most of you have had sex in a car or truck but how many times have you had sex in your present vehicle?
In my current vehicle, despite the fact that it provides a tremendous amount of space over some of the others I’ve owned, only once. I have, however, teased the crap out of my husband by masturbating in it a couple times as he drove.
5. When was the last time you had sex in car or truck type vehicle? Was it with a known person or a stranger?
Hmm … it’s probably been a couple years since I’ve gotten busy in a vehicle. And last time I did, it was with my husband.
6. Have you ever had sex on a bicycle or motorcycle?
Two-wheeled sex? Nope … but the vibrations from the engine on my motorcycle can be rather intriguing when I’m in the right mood. But then, I always try to ignore it because when you’re riding a bike, you have to focus … on the road.
7. Stick shift or manual? Why?
Other than my motorcycle, it’s nothing but an automatic for me. I should really try to learn a stick shift sometime, but until I have the money for that little Porsche convertible …
8. Ever had sex on the hood of a car? (Hood = The part of a car that covers the engine and that can be raised. The British word is bonnet.)
Yes … and the trunk too! It was a sad day when those hand prints on the thin layer of dirt were washed away in a rain storm.
BONUS: You are walking down the street. A very sexy and nude person (gender of your choice) pulls up next to you in their shiny new Mercedes Benz, they lower the window and say, “Do you want to ride in my Mercedes?” What do you do? Tell us what you want to do on that ride?
I’m actually someone who is not swayed by labels … not on clothes, not on cars. The fact you’re driving something like that is more likely to tell me you’re far too into yourself than you are into me. I see these guys all the time in these fancy sports cars and it seems the more expensive the car, the bigger the jerk behind the wheel. I guess it’s the farm girl in me – impress me with your personality, not your wallet.
BONUS, BONUS: What is the sexiest thing you have ever done in a vehicle?
Hmm … flashing/upskirting passing truckers during my morning commute? Road sex? Oral sex while he’s driving? Testing out a new sex toy I just bought at a sex show while he is driving me home? Hard to pick … why not just ask what you want the naughty details on?
I’m sure you’ll agree with me that sex is a key part of any decent adult vacation – whether it’s the hook-up in Daytona for Spring Break, or a romantic tryst between long-term lovers in the Caribbean surf at sunset. There seems to be something that much more erotic about getting busy while the stress of reality is being washed away by some lovely tropical beverages.
1. Do you have more sex or less when on vacation?
It used to be that I had way more sex when I went on vacation with my husband – but then we had kids and those kinds of trips disappeared. So, these days we just work harder at having vacation sex without getting caught.
2. Do you plan a vacation so that you will have an opportunity to have sex?
I can’t say that we actually plan a vacation just for the sex, but I won’t deny that we do everything we can to take advantage of the opportunity … and keeping track of all the places I’ve gotten laid! A few years ago, when my husband was working in a different job and company, he used to travel several times a year – and every now and then I’d get to tag along. That was always a fun time for some seriously naughty interludes.
3. Have you ever planned a vacation in order to meet someone for sex?
No … vacations for me (and now, for me and my husband) have not been built around the idea of a hook-up. There are times when I think it would be something exciting to try a lifestyle resort, such as Hedonism, but so far that remains just a fantasy – at least until my children have grown up enough to be trusted to be left alone.
4. Have you ever gone on a singles’ cruise or some other hookup-facilitating vacation?
Same as above … no.
5. Have you had sex on a means of transportation other than a car: bus, train, airplane, cruise ship?
Since you took away all the really fun possibilities, the closest I can offer up as transportation is a bed that moves around on a hardwood floor.
6. Have you had outdoor sex on camping, hiking, skiing, boating vacation?
Camping and hiking, absolutely. In fact, I’d hazard to say, if there isn’t at least on time on a camping trip when the sleeping bags get zipped together, then it’s just not camping. Skiing for me has never graduated from the bunny slope … although one of these days I’ll definitely get back on the water and put some motion to the gunwales.
BONUS: Do you pack sex toys, lubes (3.4 oz bottles or less), etc when you fly? Do you think about TSA finding them? Has TSA ever found them and questioned you about your sexual aids or displayed them? Tell us about it.
No, as much as I love my toys and my sex fun, I’d be way too embarrassed to deal with an awkward security search.
This past weekend, I spent some time away with my family doing some of the Mom things that being a Mom brings. Of course, it was also the time to connect with some people that we socialize with on a different level – and enjoy different conversations ripe with smirks and knowing looks between my husband and I when other people say things that make us think “if they only knew.”
Our favourite was when one of the other Moms was talking about this couple they knew and how this couple had attended a “swingers club” in our particular city. Naturally, my husband enjoyed that … “In our town? Really? How kinky…”
Uh huh … just bite your tongue honey. And then get the names.
I often wonder if when they are talking about things like that, if they are throwing the idea out there and waiting to see who appears shocked and who appears intrigued. And then I also listen intently to try to determine who much information they actually know about what swingers clubs are really like. Most people have a very naïve understanding of them; believing that they are true Sodom and Gomorrahs – with a wall to wall orgy taking place.
If that was the case, I know we would be there every damn weekend! And, it’s not like I can ever really correct them and explain that clubs just aren’t allowed to be these wild, sexual parties and maintain their liquor licence in Ontario … and that most people don’t play that way either.
In the end, it didn’t really matter other than for amusement, because they weren’t really our type anyway.
One of the other topics that came up – as we were all sitting in the hotel hallway enjoying a few/several adult drinks as our kids slept in the rooms – was about moments when you are just not in the mood: such as trying to get busy in the hotel room while away for these kind of weekends. Kind of an odd polar opposite to the more intriguing conversation about swingers clubs, but nonetheless, always amusing to hear other women complain about having to “give it up just because we’re away for the weekend.”
And from that spun the broader conversation of being accommodating and having sex when you don’t really want to … definitely not a fit with the swinging conversation that started this whole debate!
Personally, in a healthy relationship compromise isn’t just about who vacuums and who feeds the cats. It involves an awful lot of give and take on many levels; from family vacations, career aspirations and, every now and then, sex. You have to expect that when you share your life and space with someone, both of you are not going to always be on the same sexual clock.
While I can’t provide an exact moment of when I gave in for sex just for the sake of having him leave me alone, I am sure there have been times when my libido wasn’t exactly peeking. That is a natural thing, though. As much as I enjoy – and invite you all in to read, see and learn – my sex life, it’s not a constant state of mind. Like everyone else, I get bogged down with work, family life, social demands and things in general. All of which occasionally conspire to cool it down in the bedroom.
But, I know I’m not someone who complains about being the object of his desire – and maybe that is more from where the complaints were coming from in this conversation; that the sex was selfish and one-sided. If that’s the case, then there is something much deeper at the root of your sexual problems as a couple.
As for me this weekend, I just told my husband to be quiet and then bit my lip through most of it. But since I was the one who stuck my hand into his pajamas, I can’t say I wasn’t really looking to give it up just because he wanted it … and I can tell he wasn’t complaining either.