Monthly Archives: July 2011
So it seems like my flirting contest update proved to be a popular one. Had some awesome traffic from all you guys on that one … including the comment left by my friend H which led to yesterday’s update.
But I kind of like being the popular one … it’s a very good ego boost.
Out all that silliness though, I did get into a pretty intriguing chat with another online friend of mine who has been enjoying all the thoughts and crazy moments. But, as conversations are likely to go every now and then, my friend asked me:
What is something your guy does for you that makes you feel sexy … but isn’t sex-related?
Well, one of the things to keep in mind, especially given the recent blogs about oral sex, flirting and my occasion Twitter Sex Confession Wednesdays, is that my life is actually very routine. I use this blog and my website and tweets as a way to keep the flames of passion burning in my relationship, given the crazy schedules my husband and I keep. The moments of sexual adventure captured on here are a bit of a Reader’s Digest thing – all the good stuff condensed for you.
Honestly, I am a very normal, typical girl-next-door. So like every other woman, I long for the sincere and unexpected compliments that seemingly come from nowhere. We kind of have fragile egos, and so those are very important.
On a personal level, I truly adore getting a compliment or I love you NOT during sex. While my husband is pretty good at stroking my ego outside of the bedroom, those kind of compliments go so much further than the sexually-charged, gotta-say-something-between-thrusts comments. Compliments that come from out of the blue are way better at ensuring I am a sure thing later that evening than waiting until the heat of passion prompts you.
Recently my hubby scored big time with exactly that kind of moment. I had managed to talk him into coming clothes shopping with me, which isn’t really hard, but it was a nice way to spend a weekday afternoon together without kids.
I tried on the dress from Update 352, and had just walked out of the change room. Before I could even ask, he blurted out “Get it.” I was stunned because he usually needs a bit of encouragement when it isn’t slutty or lingerie. I asked “Do you like it?” He just said “Yes. Get it.” Later he explained that he thought the dress looked great on me and there wasn’t really any need for debate.
After being with the same guy for 20 years, it felt really nice to know he still found me attractive. I know he does, he says he does, but to see that look on his face as he’s going “Get it” made me feel truly sexy.
Another thing he does, as simple as it is, a couple times I have just commented in passing about how I love a new song that is out and then the next day as I am listening to my iPod I hear the song downloaded onto it. The fact that he listens to me and cares enough to surprise me with a new song on my play list like that … that really makes me feel sexy.
I’m not sure if you noticed one of the comments my online friend H (visit his blog) had left for me on my sex toy blog the other day. He was sharing about the “clone your willy” product that is out there now; where men can make a mould of their erection and craft a dildo for their partner.
An intriguing concept, to say the least.
You know I already have a more than enthusiastic collection of sex toys, including some rather large rubber replacements. A couple of those magnificent pussy pleasers have even been modelled after male porn stars – which might be a safer way to get nailed by one those guys than in person. And as such, I am not one too shy to admit my passion for sexual playtime.
I have seen this “clone your willy” kit in my favourite sex store before, but never really had it in mind to encourage my hubby to roll it out for me. I’m sure the main objective of this product is exactly that, something that couples might share between themselves.
For women who may not yet be habitual sex toy users, the idea may be a great way to introduce her to a little vibrating playtime, fashioned after the cock she already loves. Not so intimidating compared to some of the rubber monsters on the market.
But as I was pondering my friend‘s question, I started to think what if you do stretch your imagination just a bit further than that. And so, the underlying question for me is: if I was going to want a dildo, would I want one fashioned after the man I already have in the flesh? It’s a bit of a dilemma, really.
Of course, the idea sends some delicious thoughts to my sexual appetite. My friend H says he found it exceptionally erotic to watch a woman pleasure herself with his replica. And, I can imagine just how erotic it could be for you guys to watch such a thing – if that woman was not your own partner. In a way, it’s a little surrogate fantasy; fucking her but not really crossing the lines of cheating, if that was a concern.
While I have never pondered too deeply that it is a rubber version of Tommy Gunn has been in and out of me, or my BBC fantasies are fueled by a Doc Johnson product, all I think about is the sensation and how delicious it feels to be in the moment.
But the idea of someone not so entrenched in the porn industry, someone who doesn’t have thousands of rubber replicas buried in thousands of housewives … that isn’t the one I get in the flesh when I want it … that is erotic.
Some of you have been following my Flirt Contest since it started in April, and you know that it has been leading to some pretty intriguing experiences both at work and at home.
For those who may not be up on it, the premise began as a strange little dare my husband cooked up because I was questioning my decision to cut off my hair, and made the casual comment about how men don’t flirt with women with short hair. Just a fleeting moment of self-doubt, although I am close to deciding to grow my hair out again … just for a change though! Since that time, he has set out on a mission to prove that the length of a woman’s hair doesn’t influence her level of flirtability.
Over the three or so months we’ve been playing, the whole bizarre idea has morphed into more of a sexual fantasy game than a plan to boost my wavering short-hair self-esteem. Not that I’m complaining. I’d much rather play along with something like this than have a partner fixated on “another man” showing a little interest.
And lately things have taken an even edgier direction. Last Friday, my twisted hubby was spending his day sending me naughty texts throughout the day, trying to get me all hot and bothered knowing I was all dressed up for a change. And, yes, it worked …
By the afternoon, things had gotten a little more … um … heated up. We weren’t really engaged in much of the playful innuendo anymore, as we were getting a bit deeper into my fantasies. I know you guys read a lot about my fantasies and my sexual adventures, but there are a couple that I keep kind of close to my heart; not exactly the sexual thoughts that I am really ready to share. You have to understand that sometimes it can be kind of scary to open up to these very intimate and private thoughts without testing the water a little bit.
It’s one thing to get a little naughty during a heated round of getting busy and play up the idea of a menage a trois, but it is an entirely different thing to admit that there is one person who could, all sexual dirty talk aside, join us. On top of that, to open up about just how much he and I have flirted and the sexual information we have shared with each other … well, it can be a touchy subject if your spouse has even the slightest hint of jealousy in them.
It’s the point where the fantasy sits right on the door step of reality, and that can be a bit scary.
But my husband has a strange way of knowing me all too well, and making me confess all these things.
The one particular Office Guy has been in my sights for a while now. I can always count on him to cause me to lose the day when it matters. I’m not entirely sure if I can say it’s a “crush” or if he is someone that shares a willingness to be open with me about things you’re not really supposed to talk about with members of the opposite sex in the work place. We have shared pretty intimate details of our lives, just to make the case for an HR nightmare. And when the women I work with turn into gossiping, back-stabbing bitches, I can count on this guy for conversation that is a little more intriguing than belittling coworkers.
On Friday, while I was wearing a flirty little skirt, I caught my Office Guy checking out my legs. My husband had just texted me saying that when guys see a woman they are attracted to in a skirt, they have these kinky thoughts about things like what she may be wearing under the skirt, or how it would feel to slide a hand up the hem … even what it would be like to talk her into slipping into a secluded room and hiking up her skirt and doing her from behind.
Of course my mind was a million miles away in some sexual cloud at that point, so I made a silly little comment along the lines of “like my new skirt?” My friend replied with a polite compliment … which busted me in the day’s flirting contest. After the moment in the hallway passed between us, I texted my husband to inform him that thanks to my Office Guy, once again the score was in his favour.
My hubby texted me saying I should tell my Office Guy that if he kept on passing along compliments, I was going to get a sore jaw. So I told my friend exactly that and left him with this confused, but intrigued look on his face.
It was about this time that my panties really became a bit of a moist puddle from the combination of sexting with my husband and the look of desire on my Office Guy’s face when I caught him looking.
A couple hours later I saw my opportunity to explain the rules a little more clearly, and relieve my friend of his confusion. As I was heading for break, he was heading out for the weekend, so I tagged along to the back exit that some of the employees use – which fortunately happens to be in a less-traveled part of the building. We chatted for a couple minutes about the usual kind of Friday chat, until he asked what the heck I meant earlier.
As we weren’t entirely far removed from other people passing by, I shuffled a little closer to explain. My friend is a bit taller, so he needed to lean in a bit to hear me. When he did, his crossed arms rubbed against my breasts. I’m pretty sure it was an intentional move because he has done something similar before. Far be it from me to move back though.
I explained, in not complete detail but enough for him to get the idea, that my husband had concocted this strange little challenge to boost my spirits, yada yada … He still looked a bit confused, so I had him lean in a bit more, which let him get an even better feel of what was underneath my top. Then I whispered right in his ear that the whole idea was for each day a guy flirted with me I would have to go home and give my husband a blowjob.
I have no doubt he went home from work that afternoon and took care of some business.
That night, at home, I did give my hubby a blowjob, briefly … and then while he was sliding into my wet pussy for something a little more seriously, I told him all about my dirty thoughts, how I got so turned on by his subtle rubbing of my breasts and the whole new fantasy that was brewing in my mind.
Of course, I had all the details well thought out. I have only masturbated several times over the past couple months to the idea of having this man at my disposal.
While I know it must quite strange to some, I look at where I am at in life and my marriage and recognize that I’m one of the luckier ones. I have a partner who wants to be playful, wants to be sexual and wants to challenge my libido to some pretty crazy extremes. We know too many couples that don’t, won’t and are on the verge of separation.
Fantasy plays an important role in a woman’s life. Just because we have some of these crazy ideas, doesn’t mean we’re not passionately in love with our husbands, or looking for affairs. We like to let our imaginations run wild; we still like to pretend we are a princess being rescued … we still wake up hoping to see the pony in the backyard. Our fantasies are those little girl dreams all grown up into sexual distractions. They are healthy and necessary.
And I am lucky to have someone who lets me have mine without me being afraid to admit I do.
Now I just need to figure out how to get my husband to come up with a contest that lets me give the other guy the blowjob …