Sex in my 40s | Guys Masturbate

I get asked this quite a bit, and to be honest with you, I’m always a little reluctant to answer. Not because I don’t want to, but more because I’m not confident in how the answer would really resonate with you guys.

Do I think about guys masturbating to my photos and videos?

It’s a complicated answer that may or may not make me seem like a bit of a hypocrite.

I used to – quite often, actually. In the early days of this whole amateur porn gig, my sexuality and libido as a younger woman was still evolving. It still is today, but just in a different way.

In my late 20s and through my 30s, I wasn’t as sexually confident as I tried to fool myself into thinking I was. I had an internal desire to be validated as “sexy”, to come across as more of a vixen than my courage really was. Together with my husband, I explored all kinds of delightfully adventurous sexual experiences – swinging, coming out as bisexual, voyeurism, exhibitionism. There were a lot of new things to discover, and with heart racing, I often jumped in with both feet, both boobs and damn the common sense until tomorrow’s morning.

We had a lot of fun. We still do – just in somewhat tamer way now that we’re a bit older, a bit more doughy around the middle, and a bit more removed from the visual “ideal” of what is accepted in certain lifestyle scenes (cliques, to be perfectly honest – but that’s a much different blog).

OK, so what does all that have to do with me thinking about guys masturbating to my content? Well, because a lot of things – photos, videos, social media posts, etc. – were fueled by that whole idea. In being honest with myself, I was actually trying to get guys to do that. It was a challenge, a bit competitive and more conscious than not.

It was validation of me being a woman who could be desired. There was a very small part of me that also used the idea as sexual weapon in my own relationship. Not as cruel as this, but in a way, saying to my husband: “There are guys out there right now who are fantasizing about doing some very naughty things with me…now, are you going to turn the TV off, or do I…” And, in turn, I know he would agree and say something very similar: “You know there are guys out there stroking their hard cocks to you right now…”

It was part of our sexual game as a married couple. Incredible mind-fucks. It was … our kink.

Today, it is different. I’ve settled more peacefully into my sexuality and answered questions I needed to in my own mind. My life has gone further down the path intended for me, and if I spend too much time reflecting on certain things, my brain clicks over to more rational thinking. In a way, my thoughts go more to the consequences of my actions rather than the excitement of the discovery – if that makes sense. And it’s not just in the sexual context either – it’s the same within my offline life.

At the same time, unlike those earlier days, I have also matured to the point where – in a way – I accept more freely that men (and women) masturbate. It’s normal; it’s healthy. And they do so for a variety reasons, and use a variety of visual encouragements. As naïve as it may sound, now in my mid-40s, I actually hope more people have found a way to bring pleasure to themselves – rather than “needing” something to get them there.

I don’t view what I do anymore as a “competitive” way to get guys off – but rather as something that may “help” when they feel the urge. Which has turned my own thinking from the “C’mon baby, what are you doing with my pics?” to “I know you’re going to, so maybe what I have to offer may help get you to a better place.”

I still appreciate it when what I’m doing online is the instigator these days, given the massive amount of choice available for masturbatory aid. I just look at it differently now.

Andee xoxo